£ 


MARION  LESTER; 


THE    MOTHER'S    MISTAKE 


MARION    LESTER; 


OE, 


THE    MOTHEB'S    MISTAKE 


MISS  MINNIE  S.  DAVIS. 


BOSTON: 
PUBLISHED    BY    A.    TOMPKINS, 

38    &    40    CORNRILL. 

1856. 


Entered  according  to  Act  of  Congress,  in  the  y.ear  1856,  by 

A.    TOMPKINS, 
In  the  Clerk's  Office  of  the  District  Court  of  the  District  of  Massachusetts. 


Stereotyped  bj 
HOBART  *  ROBBINS, 
New  EDglmnd  Tjpe  and  Stereotype  Fcnndery 
IOITOH 


ps 


PREFACE. 


UPON  the  literary  sea,  already  teeming 
with  ten  thousand  lights,  we  launch  our 
fragile  bark.  Though  simple  the  offering, 
it  is  presented  with  a  sincere  desire  for 
good.  , 

The  object  and  bearing  of  this  work  we 
leave  the  reader  to  understand  from  its 
perusal. 

May  it  awaken  thought  in  a  new  direc 
tion,  and  save  at  least  one  heart  from  the 

influence  of  religious  fear. 

M.  s.  D. 

BETHEL,  VT.,  May,  1856. 


CONTENTS. 


CHAPTER   I. 

PAGB 
SELECTING  A  SCHOOL 11 

CHAPTER   II. 

MY  SCHOOLMATES, 22 

CHAPTER   III. 

INNOCENT  AMUSEMENT  CONDEMNED  AND  DEFENDED,    ....    32 

CHAPTER   IV. 

MISS  INQOLS, 46 

CHAPTER  V. 

NATURE.— RELIGIOUS  EXCITEMENT, 60 

CHAPTER    VI. 

A  NEW  METHOD,  WHICH  PROVES  MORE  EFFECTIVE  THAN 

THK  FORMER, 70 

CHAPTER   VII. 

SORROW.— RENEWED  STRUGGLES, 84 

CHAPTER  VIII. 

SCHOOL  DUTIES  AGAIN.  —  ALFRED'S  OPINION 101 

CHAPTER   IX. 

MT  GROWTH  IN  GRACE,  SO  CALLED.— ARTHUR  WILLIS, ....!» 


X  CONTENTS. 

PACT 

CHAPTER   X. 

AGAIN  AT  HOME 122 

CHAPTER    XI. 

THE  MINISTER  AND  HIS  WIPE.  — SUNDAY 129 

CHAPTER    XII. 

THE  RETURN, 136 

CHAPTER    XIII. 

THE  SEPARATION, 151 

CHAPTER   XIV. 

THE  APPEAL, 170 

CHAPTER    XV. 

CORA'S  ILLNESS, 179 

CHAPTER    XVI. 

THE  SLEEP, 186 

CHAPTER    XVII. 

ARTHUR'S  PASSION  AND  INFIDELITY, 200 

CHAPTER   XVIII. 

SABBATH  SERVICES, 214 

CHAPTER   XIX. 

QUIET  HAPPINESS.  — UNEXPECTED  JOY, 219 

CHAPTER    XX. 

LIGHT  COMETH  FORTH  FROM  DARKNESS, 232 


MARION    LESTER. 


CHAPTEK    I. 

SELECTING   A   SCHOOL. 

"  MR.  LESTER,  do  you  know  anything  about  the 
Upton  Seminary  ?  I  have  been  talking  with  Mrs. 
Jones  about  it,  —  you  know  her  girls  have  been  to 
that  school,  —  and  I  think  it  must  be  a  very  desir 
able  one  for  May  to  go  to ;  don't  you  think  so  ?  " 

My  father  laid  down  his  book  in  surprise.  "  Why, 
my  dear,  I  thought  it  had  been  decided  a  week  ago 
that  we  should  send  Marion  to  the  Eldon  Institute 
at  Slaton.  I  have  made  arrangements  with  Mr. 
Benton,  whose  daughters  are  going,  to  take  charge  of 
her  and  Cora  during  the  journey." 

Mother's  countenance  fell ;  but  in  a  moment  she 
drew  her  chair  to  his  side,  and  began,  in  her  sweet, 
coaxing  way,  to  plead  her  case.  I  saw  her  heart  was 
set  upon  the  change,  and  I  knew  that  she  would  at 
last  bring  my  father  to  consent  to  her  wishes.  "  I 


12  MARION   LESTER. 

dare  say,"  said  she,  "the  Eldon  school  is  an  excel 
lent  one;  <fcut  we  know  nothing  about  it,  and  the 
'  Jones  girls '  give  such  good  accounts  of  the  Upton 
Seminary,  that  I  am  quite  in  love  with  it." 

"  Beg  your  pardon,  my  dear,  but  I  do  know  quite 
as  much  about  the^Eldon  Institute  as  the  other.  Mr. 
Benton's  daughters  have  been  there  two  years,  and 
speak  of  it  in » high  terms;  and,  more  than  that,  I 
am  personally  acquainted  with  the  worthy  pre 
ceptor." 

"  But  it  is  so  far."  - 

"  Full  a  dozen  miles  nearer  than  your  Upton 
school,  which  is  one  hundred  and  fifty  miles  away  ; 
but  that  will  make  no  difference,  as  she  will  not  come 
home  till  the  end  of  her  year.  I  have  an  objection 
to  the  school :  it  is  very  sectarian,  and  every  scholar 
is  obliged  to  attend  the  church  where  the  professor 
preaches." 

"Ah,  that  is  not  so  pleasant;  but  I'll  trust 
Marion's  principles,  and  of  course  no  one  would 
meddle  with  her  religious  opinions.  The  Upton 
school  is  so  much  more  popular,  —  a  regular  board 
ing-school,  you  know,  and  boarding-schools  are 
always  superior  to  these  common  academies.  And, 
besides,  they  have  a  native  Italian  master,  and  my 
heart  is  set  on  having  May  learn  Italian." 

Many  arguments  equally  profound  did  my  mother 
bring  forward  to  uphold  her  cause  5  and,  at  last, 


MARION   LESTER.  13 

overcome  with  her  logic,  my  father  yielded  the 
point.  She  looked  delighted ;  but  the  slight  contrac 
tion  of  his  brow,  as  he  resumed  his  book,  proved  that 
he  did  not  perfectly  coincide  with  her  feelings. 
"  Father,"  said  I,  now  speaking  for  the  first  time, 
"  is  the  point  settled?  Am  I  to  go  to  Upton  instead 
ofEldon?" 

"Your  mother  is  so  anxious  about  it,  I  suppose  I 
must  consent.  I  will  write  to  Dr.  Severe,  who  is  at 
the  head  of  the  school,  to  see  if  you  can  be  admitted." 

"Dr.  Severe!  Ah,  papa,  that  name  sounds 
portentous !  " 

"  Nonsense  !  "  said  father,  laughing.  "  Now  run 
and  inform  Cora  and  her  mother  of  the  change ;  for, 
of  course,  you  two  inseparables  must  go  together." 

I  dropped  my  embroidery,  sprang  for  my  bonnet 
in  girlish  eagerness,  and,  in  less  than  three  minutes, 
was  across  the  meadow  and  at  the  door  of  Mrs. 
Eaton's  pretty  cottage. 

Seventeen  bright  years  had  circled  over  my  head, 
and  pain  and  sorrow  I  only  knew  by  name.  The 
only  child  of  fond  and  wealthy  parents,  I  had  thus 
far  trod  a  pathway  of  sunshine  and  flowers.  I  had 
received  all  the  literary  advantages  afforded  by  our 
aspiring  village,  and,  in  addition,  had  studied  Latin 
and  mathematics  with  my  father.  And  now  I  was 
to  go  away  to  school  a  year,  and  then  my  education 
would  be  considered  complete.  Cora  Eaton,  my 


14  MARION   LESTER. 

constant  companion  since  early  childhood,  was  to  be 
my  school  companion  still.  Though  such  intimate 
friends,  we  were  in  many  things  direct  opposites. 
Her  hair  was  a  golden  brown,  mine  ebon ;  her  eyes 
were  heavenly  blue,  mine  matched  my  jetty  tresses. 
She  was  gentle  and  timid,  yet  gay  and  light-hearted ; 
I  was  firm,  and  at  times  a  bit  wilful.  She  was 
painfully  sensitive  to  disapproval ;  but,  while  I  loved 
approbation,  I  held  to  my  convictions  of  right,  inde 
pendent  of  what  the  world  might  say,  or  even  my 
dearest  friends.  I  loved  her  fragile  beauty,  and 
unvarying  sweetness  of  temper ;  she  leaned  upon  me 
as  upon  an  elder  sister,  with  tender  confidence. 

Cora's  mother  was  a  widow  in  easy  circumstances. 
Her  only  brother.  Alfred,  was  a  young  man  of 
twenty-two,  and  on  his  second  year  at  college.  This 
Alfred  was  my  beau  ideal  of  manly  beauty  and  ex 
cellence.  Smile  not,  gentle  reader;  what  girl  of 
seventeen  has  not  an  ideal,  though  she  may  never 
have  met  it,  and  perchance  never  will  ?  Alfred  had 
ever  been  a  kind  and  attentive  brother,  and  I,  as  the 
friend  of  his  sister,  received  a  full  share  of  his  boyish 
attentions.  We  were  very  near  to  each  other,  —  as 
near  as  cousins  at  least. 


For  fifty  miles  of  our  journey  we  enjoyed  the 
company  of  Mr.  Benton  and  his  daughters  ;  then  our 
ways  diverged,  and  Cora  and  I  travelled  alone. 


MARION   LESTER.  15 

Mary  and  Emma  Benton  were  amiable,  intelligent 
girls,  and  we  felt  as  much  regret  as  they  expressed, 
that  we  were  not  all  going  together.  Mary,  who  was 
three  years  older  than  myself,  expected  to  become 
assistant  teacher  in  the  school  to  which  they  were 
going,  after  a  few  months  more  study.  At  parting, 
Emma  assured  us,  that,  "  however  much  we  might 
like  the  Upton  Seminary,  it  would  be  impossible  for 
us  to  find  better  teachers,  or  more  agreeable  com 
panions,  than  at  Eldon ; "  and  Mary  added,  with 
glistening  eyes,  that  "  it  was  the  pure  moral  and 
religious  atmosphere  pervading  the  school  which 
made  it  so  dear  to  her." 

It  was  a  chilling  day  in  autumn,  and,  towards 
night,  the  heavens  opened  their  flood-gates,  and  the 
rain  fell  with  a  sullen,  continuous  splash.  We  were 
happily  unconscious  of  the  state  of  the  weather  until 
we  left  the  warm,  light  cars,  when  we  received  the 
information  that  we  had  half  an  hour's  drive  to  take 
in  the  chill,  wet  evening.  Shivering,  and  with  dread 
homesickness  settling  down  upon  our  hearts,  Cora 
and  I  curled  into  one  corner  of  the  carriage.  Our 
merry  driver  told  stories,  and  laughed  at  them  him 
self,  but  failed  to  awaken  any  interest  in  his  hearers, 
until  he  announced  that  the  large  gray  building 
that  loomed  up  in  the  distance  was  the  seminary. 

We  were  shown  into  a  handsome  parlor.  It  was 
unoccupied  and  partially  lighted  by  the  rays  of  a 


16  MARION   LESTER, 

large  hanging  lamp  seen  through  an  open  door.  We 
could  see  distinctly  into  the  adjoining  room,  which  I 
conclmded  was  a  study  ;  for  directly  under  the  lamp 
was  a  table  covered  with  huge  books,  at  which  sat  an 
elderly  gentleman,  writing.  "I  wonder  if  that  is 
Dr.  Severe?"  whispered  Cora,  in  slight  trepidation. 

"  Hush !  he  will  come  to  meet  us."  But  the 
grave,  stern  face  still  bent  over  the  table,  and  the 
hand  still  flew  over  the  page,  as  though  their  owner 
was  ignorant  of  our  near  presence.  Our  observations 
were  cut  short  by  the  entrance  of  two  ladies,  one  tall 
and  dark,  the  other  small  and  very  fair.  The  dark 
lady  introduced  herself  as  Mrs.  Winthrop,  the  pre 
ceptress,  and  her  companion  was  Miss  Ingols,  the 
music-teacher.  Mrs.  Winthrop  welcomed  us  in  a 
stately,  condescending  manner,  while  Miss  Ingols 
quietly  assisted  in  removing  our  many  wrappings. 

Five  minutes  were  passed  in  answering  matter-of- 
course  inquiries,  when  the  doctor,  at  the  study-table, 
who  had  appeared  totally  oblivious  of  every  surround 
ing  object,  suddenly  laid  down  his  pen,  and,  walking 
directly  through  the  room,  shook  hands  with  Cora 
ana  myself,  calling  her  Miss  Lester  and  me  Miss 
Eaton.  He  was  glad  to  see  us;  hoped  that  we 
should  be  happy  there ;  recommended  us  to  be  studi 
ous  and  attentive,  and,  with  tfie  same  abruptness 
with  which  he  had  entered  the  room,  he  walked 


MARION   LESTER.  17 

straight  back  to  his  study-table  and  resumed  his 
pen. 

Miss  Ingols  now  remarked  that  she  should  be 
happy  to  entertain  the  young  ladies  in  her  own  room, 
if  agreeable  to  Mrs.  Winthrop.  The  stately  lady 
bowed  in  acquiescence ;  so  we  rose  and  followed  Miss 
Ingols.  It  was  a  delightful  room  into  which  we 
were  ushered.  A  coal  fire  glowing  in  an  open  grate, 
an  elegant  piano,  a  table  covered  with  books,  a 
bright,  soft  carpet,  and  an  inviting  lounge,  were 
objects  which  my  vision  took  in  at  one  glance,  with  a 
sensation  of  pleasure  and  relief.  Noticing  the  weari 
ness  of  my  fragile  Cora,  Miss  Ingols  drew  a  stuffed 
rocker  near  the  fire  for  her,  and  gave  me  an  ottoman 
by  her  side.  Her  manners  were  the  most  quiet  and 
subdued  I  had  ever  seen  in  any  one,  and  her  voice 
very  low  and  gentle.  While  we  were  discussing  our 
supper  (which  had  been  brought  into  the  room  at  her 
request),  she  inquired  about  our  studies  and  former 
pursuits. 

I  knew,  by  the  glance  which  Cora  now  and  then 
gave  me,  that  she  was  deeply  in  love  with  gentle 
Miss  Ingols  ;  but  I  had  not  quite  made  up  my  mind 
about  her.  She  was  so  wonderfully  quiet  in  her 
words  and  manners,  so  entirely  passive,  so  to  speak, 
that  I  asked  myself  fif-  she  had  any  spirit,  any  life, 
any  soul. 

Cora  looked  so  longingly  at  the  piano,  that  Miss 
•2 


18  MARION   LESTER. 

Ingols  guessed  her  wish,  and,  with  a  faint  smile,  sat 
down  to  play.  I  gazed  upon  her,  wondering  if  she 
would  play  or  sing  in  the  same  style  in  which  she 
moved  and  spoke.  She  touched  the  keys  dreamily, 
but  the  first  strain  acted  like  a  spell  upon  her ;  her 
face  lighted  up,  her  eyes  dilated  with  feeling,  her 
mouth  opened,  and  such  melody  as  gushed  from  her 
lips  !  The  instrument  was  a  splendid  one,  and  yet 
her  wondrous  voice  rose  above  its  tones,  and  mingled 
with  them,  rich  and  clear.  My  bosom  swelled,  and 
my  eyes  filled :  my  heart  was  thrilled  to  its  lowest 
depths. 

0,  yes,  she  had  a  soul ;  an  inspired  one,  I  thought, 
and  music  was  its  language  ! 

She  left  the  piano  and  came  back  to  the  fire,  ex 
actly  as  before :  upon  her  subdued  countenance  was 
not  a  trace  of  the  rapt  enthusiasm  with  which  she 
had  sung.  I  did  not  doubt  her  now ;  I  was  sure  I 
should  love  her.  But  she  seemed  a  mystery  to  me. 

In  about  an  hour  we  started  for  our  own  room  in 
fine  spirits  ;  our  ardor  was  somewhat  damped,  how 
ever,  when  Miss  Ingols  informed  us  that  our  apart 
ment  was  preoccupied  by  two  young  ladies,  who  had 
been  members  of  the  school  a  long  time.  How  vex 
ing  !  Cora  and  I  had  counted  on  a  room  all  to  our 
selves,  and  now  our  privacy  was  to  be  always  marred 
by  strangers.  Miss  Ingols  introduced  the  two  girls, 
\fho  rose  from  their  books  at  our  entrance,  as  Miss 


MARION   LESTER.  19 

Sarah  and  Miss  Helen  French,  and  then  left  us  to 
get  acquainted,  she  said.  But  I  was  too  much  vexed 
to  be  very  gracious  at  first,  and  the  glisten  in  Cora's 
eyes  spoke  of  tears  near  at  hand.  The  young  girls, 
apparently  not  much  prepossessed  in  our  favor,  went 
soberly  back  to  their  books.  They  sat  at  a  pretty 
round  table,  which  stood  near  their  bed :  on  the  other 
side  of  the  room  were  another  bed  and  a  similar 
table,  which  Cora  and  I  supposed  were  for  our  use. 
We  sat  down  to  our  table ;  upon  which  Miss  Sarah 
rose  up  and  lighted  our  lamp  for  us,  in  a  very  kind 
manner.  I  thanked  her,  and  Cora  tried  to  smile : 
but  that  homesick  feeling  had  come  back  to  our 
hearts  with  full  power.  Cora  whispered,  "Let's 
unpack  our  trunks." 

"  No,  dear."  I  replied ;  "  I  have  no  heart  for  it." 
And  so  my  darling  leaned  her  head  upon  my 
shoulder,  while  I  tumbled  over  the  school-books  on 
the  table.  There  was  a  Bible  among  them,  and,  by 
natural  impulse,  I  opened  the  sacred  book.  I  had 
read  the  Bible  much  with  my  father,  and  he  had 
often  told  me  that,  though  invaluable  to  the  glad  and 
prosperous,  it  was  doubly  precious  in  seasons  of  de 
pression  and  grief.  I  knew  a  few  chapters  would  be 
salutary  in  my  present  frame  of  mind ;  and  so  Cora 
and  I  quietly  read  from  the  same  page,  while  our 
companions  across  the  room  perused  their  lessons  in 
silence. 


20  MARION   LESTER. 

"  Nine  o'clock,  and  I  won't  study  a  moment 
longer  !  "  exclaimed  Miss  Helen,  as  a  clock  near  by 
told  the  hour.  She  packed  away  her  books  with  a 
great  bustle.  <;  Sarah,  Sarah,  study  hours  are  up  ; 
put  away  your  slate." 

"  Don't  bother  me  so;  I  must  get  out  this  problem 
first,"  said  Sarah,  a  little  peevishly. 

"Now,  what  if  Arthur  Willis  should  hear  you 
speak  so  shortly ;  do  you  think  he  'd  pick  up  your 
handkerchief  again,  and  give  it  to  you  with  such  a 
polite  bow  ?  " 

"  Pshaw  !  what  is  Arthur  Willis  to  me  ?  " 

"  0,  nothing,  I  dare  say  ;  though  you  do  think  he 
is  the  handsomest  fellow,  with  his  black  hair  and 
eyes,  and  superb  whiskers.  Now  I  would  own  him 
handsome  if  he  only  wore  mustaches.  Can't  you 
coax  him  to,  when  you  get  a  little  better  acquainted 
with  him  ?  " 

"Do  stop  your  nonsense,  Helen,"  said  Sarah, 
rising,  and  putting  away  her  books ;  "it  can't  be 
very  interesting  to  our  room-mates."  The  two  girls 
now  came  and  sat  near  us,  and  I  determined  to  make 
amends  for  my  former  coldness.  Helen  opened  her 
eyes  very  wide  as  she  saw  what  book  I  had  been 
reading;  and,  elongating  her  pert  little  face,  she 
asked,  in  a  doleful  voice,  "  Are  you  pious,  Miss 
Lester?" 


MARION   LESTER.  21 

The  oddity  and  abruptness  of  the  question  con 
founded  me,  and  I  stared  at  her  without  a  reply. 

"I  wish  you  would  be  sensible,"  said  Sarah,  re 
provingly.  "  If  Miss  Lester  is  pious,  she  don't  wish 
to  boast  of  it ;  and  if  she  is  not,  of  course  it  is  n't 
pleasant  to  be  quizzed  about  it."* 

<:  I  beg  your  pardon,  Miss  Lester ;  I  meant  no 
offence,"  said  Helen,  trying  to  look  sober,  but  with 
a  wicked  twinkle  in  her  blue  eye.  "  I  'm  half  afraid 
you  are  pious,  though ;  but  I  know  Miss  Eaton  is  n't. 
She  loves  fun  as  well  as  I  do,  if  her  face  does  say 
'  homesick '  so  plainly." 

Cora  laughed,  and  I  laughed  too,  though  I  thought 
Helen  a  very  queer  girl.  In  a  few  minutes  we  were 
talking  familiarly  together,  as  if  we  had  known  one 
another  a  month. 


CHAPTER    II. 

MY   SCHOOLMATES. 

CORA'S  kisses  awoke  me  in  the  morning.  Our 
room-mates  were  dressing,  and  chattering  like  two 
magpies  ;  so  we  sprang  from  the  bed,  and  commenced 
our  toilet. 

Sarah  stood  at  the  glass,  combing  out  her  fair  curls; 
which  I  thought  almost  equal  to  the  matchless 
ringlets  floating  round  Cora's  head.  Helen's  spirits 
were  effervescing,  as  on  the  night  before.  "  Sarah, 
Sarah,  I  'm  waiting  for  the  glass  !  " 

"  In  a  minute,  dear  ;  let  me  fix  this  last  curl." 

"  0,  I  forgot;  you  want  to  look  very  charming  ! 
But,  mind  you,  Arthur  Willis  is  going  to  be  a  minis 
ter,  and,  of  course,  could  not  be  ensnared  by  such 
wicked  things  as  curls." 

"  I  am  not  taking  any  more  pains  than  usual,  I 
assure  you." 

"  0,  no,  indeed !  not  when  Mr.  Willis  sits  right 
opposite  you  at  table,  and  you  think  him  so  hand- 


MARION   LESTER.  23 

some  !  Such  hair  and  eyes  !  —  but  then  he  don't 
wear  mustaches  !  What  a  pity !  " 

"Hasn't  this  Arthur  Willis,  you  say  so  much 
about,  anything  to  boast  of  but  fine  hair  and  eyes  ?  ; ' 
I  asked,  suddenly. 

"There,  you  are  interested  already!"  cried 
Helen.  "  0,  Sarah,  my  poor,  dear  Sarah,  what 
can  you  do  ?  Here  is  the  accomplished  Miss  Lester, 
interested  before  she  has  even  seen  him,  and  Miss 
Eaton  is  far  handsomer  than  you,  with  curls  which 
throw  yours  completely  into  the  shade.  Alas  !  my 
sister  will  die  of  a  broken  heart ;  for  what  can  she  do 
beside  two  such  charmers?"  Here  Helen  clasped 
her  hands  with  a  half-comic,  half-tragic  air. 

"  If  Mr.  Willis  has  no  other  claim  to  our  regard 
than  mere  good  looks,  Miss  Sarah  need  not  fear  me 
as  a  rival,"  said  Cora,  laughing. 

"  Certainly,  in  that  case  she  will  have  the  field 
entirely  to- herself,"  added  I. 

Sarah  turned  from  the  glass  with  heightened  color. 
"  Helen  is  always  making  fun,  as  you  will  soon  find 
out :  but,  in  this  case,  she  has  no  reason,  for  I  am 
scarcely  acquainted  with  Mr.  Willis  ;  and,  besides,  he 
is  grave  and  studious,  and  hardly  ever  speaks  to  a 
girl  in  school.  The  professor  says  he  is  his  best 
scholar ;  and  he  is  very  proud  of  him.  as  are  all  the 
ministers.  I  dare  say  he  would  feel  quite  vexed  if 


24  MARION    LESTER. 

he  knew  how  freely  his  name  was  used  by  such  silly 
girls." 

"  There  goes  the  breakfast-bell ! "  cried  Helen, 
"and,  as  you  have  finished  your  grand  explanation, 
I  beg  leave  to  lead  the  way." 

Among  the  many  strange  faces  surrounding  me  at 
the  breakfast-table,  I  had  no  difficulty  in  selecting 
him,  who  I  was  sure  was  Arthur  Willis.  His  pale 
countenance  wore  an  expression  of  high  intellectual 
ity  ;  his  hair  was  dark  and  wavy,  and  his  eyes  were 
large,  black,  and  mournful.  I  judged,  from  his  ab 
stracted  air,  that  he  had  left  his  mind  with  his  books. 
He  ate  hastily,  addressing  no  one. 

By  my  side  was  a  lad  of  sixteen,  with  a  mirth- 
loving  face.  He  looked  at  me  keenly,  and  asked 
if  I  had  recovered  from  the  effects  of  my  cold  ride. 
I  then  recognized  him  as  our  merry  driver  of  last 
night,  and  gave  him  my  hand.  "  I  am  called  Ed 
Sanders,"  he  said,  by  way  of  introduction. 

"  And  I  am  Marion  Lester,  and  this  is  my  friend 
Cora  Eaton."  He  nodded  graciously. 

There  was  some  quiet  mischief  going  on  at  our  end 
of  the  table,  and  I  soon  discovered  Ed  Sanders  to  be 
the  perpetrator.  But  he  looked  grave  enough  for  a 
deacon,  and  passed  round  the  bread,  or  butter,  or 
sugar,  with  commendable  gallantry ;  while,  ever 
and  ajion,  the  girls  opposite  received  whole  batteries 
of  sugar-plums,  from  some  mysterious  source.  A 


MARION   LESTER.  25 

shower  of  them  fell  among  Cora's  curls,  and  half  a 
dozen  sailed  gracefully  upon  my  coffee.  Mrs.  Win 
throp' s  sharp  gray  eyes  were  turned  upon  us  so  often 
that  I  really  feared  she  would  discover  the  sugar 
plum  sensation  ;  but  Ed  performed  his  part  so  well, 
and  the  girls  laughed  and  winked  just  in  the  right 
time,  so  that  she  had  not  the  remotest  suspicion  of  it. 

After  breakfast  and  prayers,  Cora  and  I  were  left 
alone  in  the  great  dining-hall.  Soon  Mrs.  Winthrop 
appeared,  and  after  delivering  a  little  lecture,  and 
reading  a  formidable  list  of  rules,  she  put  us  under 
Miss  Ingols'  care,  who  was  to  tell  us  about  our  les 
sons.  Miss  Ingols  soon  planned  our  studies  for  the 
day,  and  left  us  with  the  agreeable  permission  to 
remain  an  hour  in  her  pleasant  room,  and  study  by 
ourselves. 

The  weeks  passed  quickly  away,  and  we  became  ac 
customed  to  our  new  mode  of  life,  and  were  contented 
and  happy.  Cora,  beautiful,  happy-hearted  Cora, 
won  all  hearts ;  she  was  so  gay,  and  yet  so  gentle  ; 
so  affectionate  and  winning  !  And  still  I  had  the 
satisfaction  of  knowing  that  she  considered  me  her 
first  and  dearest  friend,  in  spite  of  the  fond  and  flat 
tering  attentions  showered  upon  her. 

Dr.  Severe  was  stern,  and  unbending  in  his  man 
ners,  and,  though  a  thorough  teacher,  I  regarded  him 
with  actual  fear.  Mrs.  Winthrop  (who  was  the  pro 
fessor's  widowed  sister)  I  distrusted ;  but  Miss  In- 


26  MARION   LESTER. 

gols  I  loved  and  esteemed.  Cora  sympathized  with 
these  feelings,  though  she  stood  much  more  in  awe 
of  Mrs.  Winthrop  than  I  did.  The  other  teachers 
were  agreeable  and  faithful ;  but,  as  we  saw  them 
only  at  recitation,  they  had  less  influence  upon  us. 

We  heard  much  about  a  certain  Lizzie  Williams, 
who  had  long  been  a  member  of  the  school.  She 
was  now  detained  at  home,  on  account  of  her  delicate 
health.  I  had  a  curiosity  to  see  this  young  lady, 
about  whom  I  heard  such  varied  and  contradictory 
reports.  Mrs.  Winthrop  pronounced  her  a  perfect 
Christian,  a  model  for  us  all ;  and  loudly  bewailed 
her  absence.  Miss  Ingols  said  she  was  a  dear,  good 
girl,  and  some  of  the  scholars  agreed  with  her,  while 
others  shook  their  heads,  and  intimated  that  they 
thought  her  overbearing  and  haughty. 

Ed  Sanders  told  me  in  confidence,  one  day,  that,  in 
spite  of  her  beauty  and  talents,  he  disliked  her  ex 
ceedingly.  "  She  was  shockingly  pious,  almost  self- 
righteous,"  in  his  opinion. 

One  morning  Helen  French,  who  always  contrived 
to  be  behindhand,  ran  into  our  room  some  minutes 
after  the  rest  of  us  were  quietly  seated  at  our  lessons. 

"  0,  Sarah  !  "  she  exclaimed,  "your  Miss  Piety 
has  come  !  " 

"  Whom  do  you  mean?  How  I  wish  you  would 
call  folks  by  their  right  names  !  " 


MAKION   LESTER.  27 

"  How  dull  you  are,  Sarah  !  I  mean  Lizzie  Wil 
liams." 

"  Lizzie  Williams  !  "  Sarah's  face  shone  with 
animation.  "  Are  you  sure  she  has  come ;  have  you 
seen  her?" 

"  Yes,  I  have  seen  her.  You  know  the  room  next 
to  Miss  Ingols'  has  been  reserved  for  her.  As  I  went 
by  there  just  now,  John  was  carrying  in  her  trunk, 
and  Lizzie  sat  in  a  rocking-chair  by  the  window.  She 
smiled  and  tried  to  speak,  but  a  dreadful  fit  of  cough 
ing  prevented  her,  and  she  turned  her  face  away  and 
covered  it  with  her  handkerchief." 

"  Poor  Lizzie,  how  I  do  want  to  see  her  !  I  shan't 
have  a  chance  to  see  her  until  night,  unless  I  run 
down  now  a  minute.  I  have  a  good  mind  to."  Sarah 
had  gone  to  the  door,  and  stood  holding  the  handle 
irresolutely. 

"  I  thought  it  was  against  the  rule  to  leave  our 
rooms  during  study  hours,"  said  Cora,  innocently. 

"  To  be  sure  it  is,"  said  Helen ;  "  but  it  will  do  no 
harm  unless  she  meets  Mrs.  Particular,  which  is  n't 
very  likely  at  this  time  of  day." 

"  I  believe  I'll  venture,"  said  Sarah,  and  she  van 
ished  through  the  door. 

She  returned  in  half  an  hour,  with  flushed  cheeks 
and  swimming  eyes.  Helen  instantly  understood  the 
difficulty,  and  exclaimed,  "0,  dear,  and  so  the  coast 
was  n't  clear,  after  all  ?  " 


28  MARION   LESTER. 

"No,"  answered  Sarah,  struggling  through  her 
tears ;  "I  met  the  professor  himself  on  the  stairs. 
How  he  happened  to  be  out  of  his  study  at  that  hour 
I  'm  sure  I  don't  know  !  But  he  did  n't  appear  even 
to  see  me,  though  my  heart  beat  so  loud  I  should 
think  he  must  have  heard  it.  Thanking  my  stars  at 
my  escape,  I  hurried  into  Lizzie's  room.  She  was 
very  glad  to  see  me,  and  we  had  a  nice  chat  together ; 
but,  just  as  I  began  to  think  of  coming  back,  Mrs. 
Winthrop  came  into  the  room.  She  was  very  angry 
with  me,  and  said  that  for  a  punishment  I  must  read 
twenty  extra  lines  in  Virgil ;  and  how  I  am  to  do  it 
with  all  my  other  lessons  I  don't  see  !  " 

"0,  dreadful !  "  cried  Helen ;  "  twenty  lines,  and 
you  have  just  commenced  reading  it !  How  I  wish 
we  didn't  study  Latin!  It  is  a  hateful,  dead  lan 
guage,  not  fit  for  girls  to  learn." 

"  I  shall  never  get  it  all  out,"  said  Sarah,  despair 
ingly,  while  her  tears  fell  fast  upon  the  pages  of  her 
book. 

"  I  have  learned  my  Italian  lesson,  and  have  ten 
minutes  to  spare,  so  I  can  help  you  translate  it,"  said 
I,  seating  myself  by  her  side. 

She  looked  up  gladly  through  her  tears.  "  How 
good  you  are  !  I  will  accept  your  assistance,  though 
I  suspect  I  don't  deserve  it." 


Every  evening,  between  the  hours  of  six  and  seven, 


MARION   LESTER.  29 

the  pupils  were  allowed  to  call  upon  each  other  in 
their  rooms.  Sarah  was  eager  to  have  Cora  and  I 
become  acquainted  with  her  friend,  Miss  "Williams ; 
therefore  we  took  an  early  opportunity  to  call  upon 
her.  The  young  lady  welcomed  us  Avith  graceful 
ease.  She .  was  a  tall  and  queenly  girl  of  twenty, 
with  dark  eyes  and  hair.  I  felt  saddened,  as  I  read 
upon  her  pale  features,  in  unmistakable  language,  the 
assurance  that  the  consumptive's  doom  would  be  hers. 
She  was  so  cordial  and  agreeable  that  I  could  not  but 
be  pleased  with  her.  Cora  and  I  both  pronounced 
her  very  lovable.  Sarah  looked  delighted,  but  Helen 
shook  her  head  very  knowingly. 

The  very  next  evening  Lizzie  Williams  tapped  at 
our  door,  and  was  welcomed  in  with  satisfaction.  We 
school-girls  did  not  care  about  etiquette,  but  made  and 
returned  calls  at  our  pleasure.  For  a  time  we  con 
versed  pleasantly  upon  such  subjects  as  were  upper 
most  in  our  minds.  Then  Lizzie,  who  sat  by  my 
side,  took  my  hand  in  hers.  "  My  dear  Miss  Les 
ter,"  she  said,  "  have  you  a  hope  ?  " 

"  A  hope  !  "  I  repeated,  puzzled  at  her  phraseol 
ogy- 

"  Yes  ;  a  hope  in  God  !  " 

"  Certainly.  How  could  I  be  without  faith  and 
hope  in  God,  when  I  am  constantly  receiving  such 
tokens  of  his  love  and  mercy ;  and  his  wisdom  and 
power  are  manifested  in  all  the  works  of  his  hand  ? 


30  MAKION   LESTER. 

Does  not  your  question  insinuate  a  want  of  intellect 
ual  perception,  or  moral  appreciation,  in  me  ?  " 

"  You  misunderstand  me.  I  mean,  have  you  a 
special  hope  for  yourself;  do  you  feel  that  Christ 
has  accepted  you  as  his  own  ?  "  Her  dark  eyes  were 
fixed  upon  me  keenly. 

I  fully  understood  her  now,  and  returned  her 
glance  with  one  equally  searching.  "  No,  I  am  not 
so  presumptuous.  I  do  not  and  cannot  merit  the 
special  favor  of  God,  though  his  bounties  have  ever 
been  showered  upon  me.  I  know  Christ  died  for  me, 
therefore  I  trust  him,  not  myself."  "•  •  £  % 

She  withdrew  her  hand,  saying,  in  a  changed  ., 
"  I  am  disappointed  in  you  ;  I  thought  I  nad  '  ud 
a  congenial  mind,  —  one  who  could  appreciate  and 
sympathize  with  my  spiritual  experience ;  but  I  per 
ceive  I  am  mistaken." 

After  an  awkward  silence,  she  continued :  "  And 
you,  Cora  Eaton,  do  not  profess  to  be  a  Christian,  any 
more  than  your  friend  ?  " 

Cora  turned  her  blue  eyes  to  mine,  but  the  silent 
answer  mine  gave  her,  reassured  her,  and  she  said, 
gently,  "  I  am  afraid  I  am  too  full  of  errors  and  mis 
takes,  to  be  worthy  of  the  name  ;  but  I  wish  to  be  a 
true  Christian  ;  I  am  trying  to  become  one." 

"That  is  it,  darling  Cora;  you  do  try  to  be  a 
Christian,  and  I  think  you  come  the  nearest  to  it  of 
any  one  I  know." 


MARION  LESTER.  31 

"  You  have  a  strange  manner  of  speaking,  Miss 
Lester,"  said  Miss  Williams,  coldly.  "  I  fancy  you 
wilfully  misunderstand  me  !  " 

I  was  too  proud  either  to  explain  or  defend  myself, 
and,  as  she  rose  to  go,  I  haughtily  wished  her  "  good- 
evening." 

"  There  is  Lizzie  Williams  to  the  very  life  !  "  cried 
Helen,  as  the  door  closed  after  her.  "  She  is  very 
gracious,  and  gives  her  love  to  those  who  make  great 
professions,  as  she  does,  but  is  chilly  as  an  iceberg 
to  us  unregenerated  mortals." 

"  You  wrong  her,"  said  Sarah.  "  I  own  she  is 
strict  in  her  notions,  and  wishes  to  have  others  con 
form  to  her  opinions ;  yet  she  makes  a  friend  of  me, 
and  you  know  I  '  make  no  profession.' ;: 

"Ah,  but  you  are  a  subject  for  hope,"  said  the 
gay  girl,  mockingly,  "  while  I,  at  least,  am  incor 
rigible." 


CHAPTER   III. 

INNOCENT  AMUSEMENT  CONDEMNED  AND  DEFENDED. 

ALFRED  EATON  often  wrote  to  his  sister,  always 
sending  a  message  to  me,  and  sometimes  enclosing  a 
half  sheet  for  ' '  sister  May,' '  as  he  often  called  me.  A 
little  before  New- Year's  we  received  a  missive,  which 
gave  us  special  joy.  He  was  having  a  few  days'  vaca 
tion,  and  New- Year's  he  was  to  spend  with  William 
Justin  (his  college  chum),  whose  father,  Judge  Jus 
tin,  resided  about  a  mile  distant  from  our  seminary.  On 
New- Year's  eve  the  judge's  lady  was  to  give  a  party, 
and  William  Justin  had  sent  a  request  for  her  to 
invite  Cora  and  myself,  for  the  sake  of  his  friend 
Alfred. 

We  were  delighted  at  the  prospect  of  meeting  our 
dear  Alfred  so  soon,  and  when  our  notes  of  invitation 
arrived,  we  hastened  to  obtain  Mrs.  Winthrop's  per 
mission  to  attend  the  party.  Cora  explained  the 
cause  of  our  invitation,  and  the  reason  why  we  were 
BO  anxious  to  go. 

The  preceptress  gravely  turned  over  the  little  del- 


MARION  LESTER.  33 

icate,  rose-colored  notes,  and  expressed  her  regret 
that  we  had  received  them. 

"  I  have  not  seen  Alfred  for  several  months," 
pleaded  Cora. 

"  I  presume  you  both  wish  to  see  your  friend/' 
said  Mrs.  Winthrop;  "  but  I  disapprove  of  large  par 
ties  ;  I  never  allow  my  pupils  to  attend  them.  And, 
besides,  the  Justins  are  'world's  '  people." 

"  Are  they  not  respectable  people  ?  "  I  asked. 

"  0,  they  are  respectable,  for  aught  I  know ! 
Judge  Justin  is  an  influential  man.  On  the  whole,  it 
would  n't  do  to  refuse  them,  though  it  is  much  against 
my  principles  to  let '  you  go.  Yes,  I  suppose  I  must 
consent,  if  you  will  behave  very  circumspectly,  and 
return  at  an  early  hour." 

Thanking  her  for  her  permission,  though  so  re 
luctantly  given,  we  gladly  escaped  to  our  own  room. 

The  eventful  night  arrived,  and  Cora  and  I  arrayed 
ourselves  in  our  most  becoming  attire.  Cora  was 
dressed  in  a  light-blue  silk,  and  I  thought  she  needed 
no  other  ornament  than  the  rich  curls  which  shaded 
her  snowy  neck.  I  wore  a  rich  crimson  cashmere, 
with  a  few  snow-drops  in  my  hair. 

Judge  Justin's  carriage  came  for  us,  and  to  our 

great  joy  we  found  Alfred  within  it.    It  was  a  happy 

meeting,  and  we  had  so  much  to  say  to  one  another 

-vthat  the  ride  seemed  far  too  short.     As  we  entered 

the  brilliantly-lighted  rooms,  I  thought  Alfred  had 

3 


34  MARION   LESTER. 

grown  handsomer  and  more  noble-looking,  and  a  feel 
ing  of  pride  and  pleasure  thrilled  my  heart  as  he 
drew  my  arm  tighter  within  his. 

After  being  introduced  to  the  members  of  the 
household,  we  mingled  with  the  guests.  The  apart 
ments  wore  an  air  of  elegance  and  taste  I  had  rarely 
seen.  I  soon  discovered  there  were  several  learned 
and  distinguished  men  among  the  various  groups. 
Alfred  pointed  them  out,  and  related  anecdotes  of 
them.  I  soon  missed  Cora,  and,  looking  round,  saw 
her  leaving  the  room,  leaning  on  the  arm  of  William 
Justin.  Just  then  a  rich  burst  of  music  swelled 
through  the  house. 

"  They  have  gone  to  the  dancing-hall,"  said  Al 
fred  ;  "let  us  join  them.  Half  the  young  folks  are 
there  already,'!  presume." 

Guided  by  the  sounds  of  the  music,  we  passed 
through  several  rooms,  until  we  stood  at  the  door  of 
a  spacious  apartment,  where  a  company  of  young 
people  were  dancing.  Soon  Cora's  light  form  met 
mj  eye.  I  knew  by  her  sparkling  face  that  her 
pulses  bounded  in  unison  with  the  spirit  of  the  scene. 
She  looked  surpassingly  beautiful,  as  with  inimitable 
grace  she  stepped  to  the  stirring  music.  There  was 
a  vacant  space  near  us,  which  we  appropriated,  and 
joined  in  the  graceful  exercises  with  keen  zest. 

After  dancing  some  time  I  became  weary,  and,  see 
ing  Cora  on  the  opposite  side  of  the  room,  Alfred 


MARION  LESTER,  35 

drew  me  to  a  retired  seat,  where  we  could  converse 
uninterruptedly.  He  leaned  towards  me,  and  com 
menced  speaking  in  earnest  tones.  "  Marion,  dear 
Marion,"  he  said,  "  I  had  an  especial  object  in 
planning  this  meeting.  I  wished  to  ask  you  a  ques 
tion,  which  most  nearly  concerns  my  happiness. 
I  have  long  loved  you,  Marion,  and  longed  to  call 
you  by  a  still  dearer  name  than  '  sister  May.'  I  have 
your  father's  permission  to  tell  you  of  my  love,  and 
now  it  is  for  you  to  complete  my  happiness." 

I  will  not  repeat  all  the  arguments  he  offered,  or 
the  thrilling  words  he  breathed  in  my  willing  ear. 
Suffice  it  to  say  that  in  half  an  hour  we  returned  to 
the  company,  fully,  perfectly  happy.  An  additional 
lustre  was  radiated  from  my  happy  heart  upon  every 
thing  about  me.  I  had  long  regarded  Alfred  with 
more  than  a  sister's  tenderness,  and  now  the  senti 
ment  was  acknowledged  and  understood,  it  became 
enlarged  and  intensified,  fully  swaying  my  whole 
heart. 

When  we  retired  to  our  chamber,  I  whispered  my 
precious  secret  in  Cora's  ear.  The  darling  girl  over 
whelmed  me  with  kisses  and  congratulations,  and 
playfully  assured  me  that  she  had  guessed  Fred's 
feelings,  and  had  left  us  alone  in  order  to  give  him 
an  opportunity  to  "pop  the  momentous  question." 

Several  days  after  the  party,  we  received  a  sum 
mons  to  meet  the  preceptress  in  her  private  parlor. 


36  MARION   LESTER. 

"It  is  a  bad  omen,"  said  Helen,  who  delivered  the 
message,  with  a  shake  of  her  pevt  little  head  ;  "  it  is 
a  very  bad  omen.  I  'm  afraid  Mrs.  Particular  has  a 
heavy  charge  to  bring  against  you  two." 

Cora  began  to  look  apprehensive,  but  brightened 
somewhat  when  I  reminded  her  that  we  had  never 
knowingly  violated  any  regulation  of  the  school,  and 
consequently  we  had  nothing  to  fear. 

Mrs.  Winthrop  received  us  with  an  air  of  stern 
displeasure.  "  Young  ladies,  having  given  my  con 
sent  for  you  to  attend  that  party  last  week,  as  you 
returned  at  a  proper  hour,  I  found  no  fault.  But. 
since  then,  I  have  learned  that  there  was  dancing  on 
that  occasion,  and  I  have  sent  for  you  to  inquire  if 
you  joined  in  that  sinful  amusement?  "  Seeing  we 
hesitated,  she  added,  sharply,  "  Do  not  deny  it,  girls, 
for  I  know  the  whole  story." 

Indignation  burned  on  my  cheeks,  and  flashed  in 
my  eyes,  but  restraining  myself,  I  answered,  respect 
fully,  "  We  have  neither  of  us  a  thought  of  denying 
it ;  we  did  both  dance  at  the  party." 

Mrs.  Winthrop  threw  up  both  hands,  and  leaned 
back  in  her  chair  with  a  faint  exclamation  of  horror 
at  my  shameless  declaration.  Cora  trembled,  and 
her  eyes  filled  with  tears.  The  expression  of  feeling 
was  so  disproportionate  to  the  occasion,  that  I  looked 
on,  coolly  waiting  to  see  what  would  come  of  it  all. 

Mrs.  Winthrop  recovered  herself,  and  regarded  ua 


MARION  LESTER.  37 

with  the  air  of  an  injured  martyr.  "  By  your  con 
duct  you  have  injured  my  brother,  the  professor  in 
the  institute ;  you  have  injured  me  and  every  other 
teacher  here ;  and  disgraced  every  sober,  religiously 
inclined  pupil,  to  say  nothing  of  the  disgrace  which 
you  have  brought  upon  yourselves.  Dancing  is  a 
worldly,  sinful  amusement,  never  countenanced  ex 
cept  by  worldly,  sinful  people.  To  think  that  two 
young  ladies  under  my  charge  should  be  induced  to 
indulge  in  it!  I  cannot  express  my  shame  and 
grief!  " 

Really  regretting  I  had  offended  the  good  lady's 
strongest  prejudice,  I  tried  to  appease  her.  "I  am 
very  sorry  to  have  incurred  your  displeasure,  Mrs. 
Winthrop,  and  I  assure  you,  if  we  had  known  your 
objection  to  dancing,  we  would  willingly  have  refrained 
from  it."  Her  proudly-cut  features  were  distorted 
with  passion. 

"  Marion  Lester,  you  insult  me  !  Did  n't  know  that 
I  had  the  strongest,  the  deadliest  objection  to  all  vain 
and  trifling  amusements  ?  I,  who  have  been  professor 
of  religion  since  a  child,  who  have  been  accounted  an 
humble  Christian  these  dozen  years  !  Your  knowl 
edge  of  my  character  and  of  the  character  of  this 
institution  must  be  very  limited." 

I  tried  to  speak,  to  soothe  her  with  reiterated 
expressions  of  regret  and  apologies,  but  in  vain. 

"  Do  not  apologize ;  such  dereliction  from  propriety 


38  MARION   LESTER. 

has  no  apology.  My  brother,  the  professor,  is  very 
angry,  and  justly  so  ;  but,  thinking  I  could  reprove 
you  best,  he  desired  me  to  do  so,  and  inflict  such  pen 
alty  as  I  thought "  — 

"  Stop,  madam  !  "  I  began,  with  an  imperious  ges 
ture.  I  forgot  I  was  a  mere  school-girl ;  I  forgot  I 
stood  before  one  in  authority.  There  was  a  proud 
swelling  in  my  heart,  which  bade  me  assert  my  supe 
riority  to  such  unjust,  such  petty  tyranny.  "  I  re 
spect  the  opinions  of  my  teachers,  and  express  again 
my  sorrow  at  offending.  "We  have  been  taught  to 
consider  dancing  innocent  and  healthful,  and  did  not 
suppose  that  even  professors  of  religion  could  object 
to  it,  in  a  private  house,  with  refined  and  moral  com 
pany.  And  as  our  own  parents  sanction  a  moderate 
indulgence  in  the  amusement,  I  beg,  madam,  you  will 
say  nothing  about  the  penalty  you  choose  to  inflict/' 

Cora  checked  her  tears,  which  had  been  flowing 
freely,  and  gazed  upon  me,  half  in  amazement,  and 
half  in  fear. 

Mrs.  Winthrop  caught  her  breath,  and  looked  at  me 
in  profound  astonishment.  So  new  was  opposition  to 
her,  so  unused  was  she  to  anything  but  the  most 
flattering  respect  and  unquestioning  submission,  that 
she  half  doubted  her  own  ears.  After  a  pause,  in 
which  her  countenance  materially  changed  its  expres 
sion,  she  turned  to  my  trembling  friend,  Cora,  and 
said  :  "  You  have  manifested  contrition,  therefore  I 


MARION  LESTER.  39 

will  overlook  your  error,  and  receive  you  again  into 
my  favor ;  but  you,  Marion,  are  obstinate.  Remem 
ber,  I  regard  you  with  extreme  displeasure.  Young 
ladies,  you  may  return  to  your  books." 

"  0,  Marion,  how  could  you,  how  did  you  dare 
speak  so  to  Mrs.  Winthrop  ?  " 

"  You  know,  Cora,  dear,  I  never  oppose  rightful 
authority ;  but  I  '11  not  be  tyrannized  over,  not 
even  by  the  powers  that  be.  I  did  n't  mean  to  be 
impudent,  though." 

"You  wasn't  exactly  impudent,  but  you  looked 
so  superior,  and  spoke  with  such  authority,  that  I  was 
frightened." 

"  But  it  had  its  effect,"  laughed  I,  "  for  '  Young 
ladies,  go  to  your  books,'  was  the  end  of  the  confer 
ence." 


Time  passed.  Meanwhile,  Cora  and  I  progressed 
rapidly  in  our  studies,  and  gained  in  the  friendship  of 
those  about  us.  I  conceived  a  strong  attachment  for 
Miss  Ingols,  and  she  seemed  fully  to  reciprocate  the 
sentiment.  I  sat  alone  with  her  oftener  than  any 
other  scholar,  generally  at  her  request.  There  was 
a  fascination  for  me  in  all  her  Avays,  though  she  was 
as  unlike  as  possible  my  energetic,  impulsive  self. 
Always  quiet  and  placid  as  when  I  first  saw  her; 
always  wearing  an  expression  of  subdued  melancholy 
upon  her  features ;  never  smiling  except  a  faint, 


40  MARION  LESTER. 

sweet  smile,  which  was  like  a  tiny  ripple  on  the  face 
of  a  moonlit  lake;  she  ever  seemed  a  touching 
mystery  to  me.  I  instinctively  felt  that  beneath  that 
unruffled  exterior  lay  slumbering  passions  and  yearn 
ings  ;  that  she  had  a  lofty,  noble  soul ;  —  and  in 
music  only  did  that  hidden  soul  ever  shine  upon  her 
face.  I  have  watched  with  painful  anxiety  to  catch 
even  a  faint  trace  of  emotion  upon  her  exquisitely 
moulded  features  ;  but  never,  in  the  most  unguarded 
moment,  was  pleasure  or  pain,  approval  or  anger, 
mirrored  there.  Only  when  her  flying  fingers 
awoke  slumbering  melody,  did  her  soul  arise  and 
pour  out  its  beauty  in  her  wondrous  voice.  I  felt 
that  she  was  good,  that  a  strange  mystery  shadowed 
her  life  ;  and  for  this  I  loved  her. 

Cora  was  a  favorite  everywhere.  Even  Lizzie 
Williams  loved  and  caressed  her.  And  Lizzie  was 
at  times  gracious  and  affectionate  towards  me.  in 
spite  of  the  imaginary  gulf  which  she  placed  between 
us. 

Said  Cora  to  me  one  day,  •"  There  is  something  I 
cannot  understand ;  something  which  has  puzzled  me 
ever  since  we  came  to  this  school.  Every  one  here 
is  very  religious,  or  very  frivolous,  —  almost  every 
one,  I  mean.  They  run  to  extremes.  Those  who 
are  religious  are  always  grave  and  solemn,  and  hold 
themselves  off  from  and  above  the  others.  Most  of 


MARION  LESTER.  41 

the  rest  make  mock  of  religion,  and  despise  those 
professing  it." 

"Yes,  Cora,  I  have  noticed  this  often,  and  with 
great  pain.  There  are  a  few  exceptions ;  Miss  Ingols 
is  equally  kind  and  considerate  to  all ;  and  one  or  two 
are  like  Sarah  French,  half-way  between,  wishing  to 
get  religion,  but  dreading  to  give  up  all  pleasures  and 
amusements." 

"Yes,  Sarah  is  a  good  girl;  but  Helen  often 
shocks  me  with  her  strange  speeches,  as  do  some 
others.  The  other  day  Ed  Sanders  said  to  me, 
and  I  am  sure  he  is  a  kind-hearted,  well-meaning 
fellow,  that  he  hoped  I  should  never  get  to  be  reli 
gious.  For  his  part,  he  hated  religion  ;  there  was  no 
reality  in  it ;  people  only  wore  it  as  a  cloak  to  hide 
their  faults  and  selfishness.  I  asked  if  he  thought 
Miss  Ingols  was  one  of  these  ;  he  admitted  that  there 
might  be  something  in  her  professions,  but  he  was 
certain  there  wasn't  another  like  her." 

"  Did  n't  you  refer  to  Arthur  Willis  ?  " 

"  I  spoke  of  him,  and  Ed  turned  up  his  eyes  very 
knowingly,  and  declared  that  Arthur  Willis  had  n't 
any  more  religion  than  his  old  hat !  he  was  n't  so 
pious  as  some  folks  would  like  to  have  him." 

"What  an  idea!  I  thought  everybody  liked  Ar 
thur  Willis." 

"  So  does  Ed  Sanders  ;  he  says  he  is  the  best  fel- 


42  MARION  LESTER. 

low  in  the  world,  but  something  will  come  to  light 
about  him,  of  which  few  have  even  dreamed." 

"  What  can  he  mean  ?  " 

"  I  'm  sure  I  don't  know.  I  wish  he  would  n't 
talk  so  about  religion  and  its  followers  ;  it  shocks  my 
reverence,  and  shakes  my  confidence." 

This  conversation  set  me  to  pondering  on  the  pain 
ful  extremes  presented  by  the  subject.  The  gloom 
and  asceticism,  the  self-righteous,  "  I-am-holier-than- 
thou"  spirit  of  the  professed  followers  of  Christ,  on 
the  one  hand ;  on  the  other,  light  mockery,  contempt, 
or  indifference,  for  sacred  things. 

I  had  been  taught  to  regard  religion  as  essential, 
and  the  possession  of  it  a  most  joyful  thing ;  but  now 
my  mind  was  crossed  with  doubt  and  troubled  with 
perplexity.  I  had,  hitherto,  seen  religion  dressed  in 
light  and  beauty ;  now  it  was  all  changed  ;  my  heart 
was  frightened  at  the  gloom  it  wore,  and,  shrinking 
from  the  darkness  shrouding  it,  I  sought  refuge  in 
the  sunshine  of  earthly  love.  My  parents  grew 
nearer  and  dearer  to  me,  though  we  were  separated 
by  time  and  distance  ;  more  proudly,  more  fondly  did 
I  watch  Cora's  increasing  beauty ;  but  how  can  I  tell 
of  the  idolizing  love  which  enshrined  one  image  in  my 
heart !  him  who  had  the  keeping  of  my  young  affec 
tions  ! 

God  was  described  to  me  in  majesty,  in  power,  and 


MARION   LESTER.  48 

might,  and  terror ;  and  I  was  told  to  love  him 
supremely. 

My  heart  rebelled,  and  I  leaned  confidingly  upon 
an  arm  of  flesh.  Ah  !  in  bitterness  of  spirit  was  I  to 
learn,  that  though  earthly  love  is  sweet  and  precious, 
only  Infinite  love  is  a  safe  haven  for  the  tempest- 
tossed  and  heavy-laden  spirit. 

In  my  own  home,  under  the  guidance  of  my  father, 
who  was  a  true  and  consistent  Christian,  I  ever  hailed 
the  Sabbath  with  delight.  Then  it  was  a  day  of  se 
rene  and  elevated  pleasure ;  a  day  of  praise,  of  thanks 
giving,  and  holy  meditation.  Then  with  rapture  did 
I  contemplate  the  love  of  the  All-Father. 

A  few  months  had  wrought  a  great  change  in  me. 
Not  that  I  had  entirely  forgotten  my  former  "faith 
and  hope  in  God ; "  not  that  the  memory  of  other 
joyful,  peaceful  days  was  wholly  lost ;  but  the  pres 
ent  seemed  to  hide  the  past:  a  mist  had  risen  be 
tween  my  present  and  former  self.  I  was  sometimes 
critical  and  scorning ;  sometimes  hoping,  often  fear 
ing,  always  doubting. 

Here,  Sunday  was  the  most  tiresome,  oppressive 
day  of  the  week.  Besides  attending  public  services 
three  times  each  Sabbath,  there  was  a  long  series  of 
Bible  lessons,  catechetical  classes  and  prayer-meetings. 
These  duties,  followed  up  with  intense  ardor  by  our 
teachers,  proved  exhausting  to  my  physical  nature, 
and  highly  detrimental  to  my  mental  powers.  Each 


44  MARION  LESTER. 

Sunday  night  I  retired  to  bed  inexpressibly  weary, 
and  painfully  depressed  in  spirits. 

Dr.  Severe  ministered  at  the  church  where  all  the 
pupils  attended  worship.  His  cognomen  seemed  sin 
gularly  appropriate,  and  in  the  pulpit  did  he  appear 
most  fully  to  merit  it.  His  style  was  hard  and  severe; 
but  I  listened  with  respect,  for  I  gave  him  at  least 
the  credit  of  sincerity.  Often  would  he  launch  forth 
into  loud  and  startling  denunciations,  and  thrilling 
appeals  for  the  sinner  to  "  flee  from  the  wrath  to 
come."  In  language  which  I  cannot  paint,  would  he 
thunder  forth  the  terrors  of  the  Lord ;  then,  in  sol 
emn,  awful  tones  would  he  warn  the  impenitent. 

Thrilled  with  horror  and  half-disgust,  have  I  often 
turned  to  note  the  effect  of  his  words.  The  audience 
would  generally  be  calm  and  unruffled ;  many  would 
look  indifferent,  some  abstracted,  and  a  few  in 
tensely  satisfied,  as  though  the  burning  words  were 
bread  to  their  hungry  souls  ;  but  here  and  there  one, 
the  tender  and  sensitive,  would  tremble  like  reeds 
before  the  blast. 

Cora  was  one  of  these ;  often  would  her  cheeks 
blanch  and  her  eyes  dilate  with  horror,  and  once  she 
leaned  her  head  upon  my  shoulder  with  a  hysterical 
sob. 


CHAPTER   IV. 

MISS  INGOLS. 

ONE  windy  day  our  stove  smoked  fiercely ;  there 
fore  we  all  took  our  books  and  sat  by  the  dining- 
room  fire.  Soon  Ed  Sanders  came  in  from  a  recita 
tion,  balancing  three  or  four  books  upon  his  head. 
He  nodded  gayly ;  —  "  See,  girls,"  he  cried,  "  this  is 
my  method  of  keeping  my  lessons  from  flying  away, 
after  I  have  managed  to  get  them  into  my  brain ! 
The  heft  of  my  geometry,  Latin  grammar,  and  lexi 
con,  —  all  weighty  books,  I  assure  you,  —  effectually 
prevents  the  escape  of  any  poor  little  lesson ;  and  if 
I  can  never  again  recall  a  word  of  it,  I  have  the  sat 
isfaction  of  knowing  it  is  somewhere  in  my  head." 

We  all  smiled  at  his  nonsense,  and  made  room  for 
him  by  the  fire ;  for  he  was  a  general  favorite  with 
the  girls,  he  was  always  so  good-humored  and  merry. 
For  a  time  we  quite  forgot  our  books,  and  laughed  and 
talked  with  Edwin,  who  was  in  his  funniest  mood. 
Then  I  suddenly  recollected  we  were  breaking  the 


46  MARION   LESTER. 

rule  by  talking  in  study  hours,  and  withdrew  to  the 
window,  and  resumed  the  study  of  my  lesson. 

Ed  Sanders  told  such  amusing  stories  that  the 
girls  were  convulsed  with  merriment,  and  Helen, 
forgetting  all  restraint,  laughed  loudly.  In  a  mo 
ment  the  door  opened,  and  Miss  Ingols  advanced  into 
the  room.  Instantly  the  laughing  group  became 
silent  and  abashed.  Self-condemnation  was  written 
on  every  face ;  not  that  Miss  Ingols'  manner  expressed 
reproof  or  displeasure,  but  we  were  ashamed  of  our 
thoughtlessness.  "  I  am  sorry  to  see  this,"  she  said, 
in  her  low  and  gentle  tones ;  "  have  you  forgotten 
there  is  a  penalty  attached  to  every  rule  ?  or  perhaps 
you  are  of  those  who  are  content  to  do  '  eye-ser 
vice?'"  then,  observing  me  by  the  window,  she 
added,  "I  am  glad  there  is  one  here  who  appears 
to  have  a  stronger  sense  of  duty  than  the  rest." 

There  was  a  slight  struggle  in  my  mind,  for  I  val 
ued  her  good  opinion  very  highly ;  but,  scorning  to 
receive  unmerited  praise,  I  rose  and  said,  boldly, 
"You  give  me  too  much  credit;  I  had  just  thought 
of  my  duty,  and  retired  by  myself  to  study,  when 
you  came  in.  I  deserve  to  share  in  the  reproof  and 
punishment  of  the  rest." 

"  No,"  said  Edwin,  stepping  forward,  "  I  am  the 
only  one  to  blame.  I  told  stories  to  make  the  girls 
laugh,  and  I  suppose  they  could  n't  help  it  \  so,  Misa 


MAKION  LESTER.  47 

Ingols,  please  to  excuse  them,  and  let  me  suffer  the 
penalty  alone." 

Miss  Ingols  smiled  her  own  peculiar  smile,  so  sel 
dom  seen  upon  her  face,  but  which  being  once  seen 
could  never  be  forgotten.  "  Such  an  exhibition  of 
candor  and  generosity  is  very  gratifying  to  me,"  she 
said,  "  and,  believing  you  will  all  be  more  careful  in 
future,  I  will  gladly  pass  over  this  departure  from 
order."  So  saying,  she  left  the  room  as  quietly  and 
gently  as  she  came  in. 

Our  gratitude  was  spoken  by  a  few  expressive 
glances,  and  then,  without  a  word,  we  turned  to  our 
books.  At  noon  Edwin  came  to  me,  and  said,  "  If 
all  Christians  were  like  Miss  Ingols,  I  should  be  in 
clined  to  think  there  was  something  in  religion ;  she 
is  so  kind  and  good." 

The  girls  all  gathered  around  us,  and  heard  the 
closing  of  his  sentence.  "0,  yes;  she  is  so  kind 
and  good  !  "  echoed  every  one. 

"But,"  said  Helen,  "she  distresses  me,  for  all 
that." 

"  How  so  ?  "  queried  I. 

"  She  is  so  immovable.  It  would  actually  be  a 
relief  if  she  should  even  scold  a  little,  now  and  then, 
just  for  a  change.  Did  she  ever  laugh,  or  did  you 
ever  see  her  change  the  sad,  sweet  expression  of  her 
face?" 

We  all  agreed  that  we  felt  somewhat  as  she  did, 


48  MARION   LESTER. 

yet  she  was  very  lovely  for  all  that.  "  I  have  some 
times  thought,"  said  Sarah,  "that  she  must  have  had 
a  great  affliction  in  early  life,  and  it  is  the  constant 
memory  of  it  which  makes  her  so  quiet  and  sad." 

Every  one  assented  to  this ;  it  was  a  very  reason 
able  supposition. 

At  this  moment  Arthur  Willis  sauntered  into  the 
room.  His  countenance  brightened  as  he  noticed  our 
little  group,  and  he  came  forward  and  saluted  us  with 
graceful  courtesy.  Arthur  could  be  very  brilliant 
and  engaging  when  he  chose.  He  was  so  now,  and  a 
most  animating  conversation  followed  his  addition  to 
our  circle.  At  length  Sarah  changed  the  topic : 
"Before  you  came  in,  Arthur,  we  were  speaking  of 
Miss  Ingols'  singularly  quiet  manners,  which  never 
alter  at  any  circumstance.  We  all  agreed  that  the 
memory  of  some  early  affliction  must  be  the  cause  of 
it ;  do  you  think  so  ?  " 

I  regretted  Sarah's  question,  for  the  young  man 
instantly  assumed  an  abstracted  air,  which  was  some 
what  peculiar  to  him.  "  Yes."  he  said,  as  if  talking 
to  himself,  "Miss  Ingols  is  singular;  I  should  judge 
by  her  ways  that  she  had  no  sensibilities." 

"  But  what  do  you  assign  as  the  reason  for  her 
peculiarity?"  persisted  Sarah. 

"  I  think  it  is  religion." 

"Arthur  Willis!"  I  exclaimed,  in  unlimited 
surprise. 


MARION  LESTER.  49 

He  turned  towards  me  and  said,  deprecatingly, 
"It  is  only  my  opinion,  Marion.  I  fully  believe 
religion  to  be  the  cause  of  her  touching  melancholy. 
The  hope,  the  joy,  the  light,  is  crushed  from  her 
heart !  "  He  walked  slowly  away,  with  his  arms 
folded  behind  him  and  his  head  down,  apparently 
absorbed  in  some  profound  speculation. 

We  stood  looking  after  him  in  blank  surprise. 
Helen  pouted.  "I  say  you  are  too  bad,  Sarah;  if 
you  had  n't  asked  him  about  Miss  Ingols'  queer  ways, 
he  might  have  stayed  with  us  till  dinner-time,  and  it 
isn't  often  that  Arthur  Willis  chooses  to  play  the 
agreeable." 

"How  strangely  he  talked  and  acted!  "  said  Sa 
rah.  "  He  has  changed  very  much.  A  few  months 
ago  he  pored  over  his  books  night  and  day ;  now  he 
has  given  up  two  studies,  and  spends  half  his  time  in 
lounging  about.  He  has  grown  odd  and  moody." 

"  Girls,"  said  Edwin,  "  I  beg  you  never  to  repeat 
what  he  said ;  it  might  injure  his  reputation,  and  he 
is  going  to  be  a  minister,  you  know."  Then,  rolling 
up  his  roguish  black  eyes,  he  folded  his  arms  and 
bowed  his  head,  in  imitation  of  Arthur,  and  marched 
after  him. 

4 


CHAPTER  V. 

NATURE.  —  RELIGIOUS  EXCITEMENT. 

"  It  ig  aa  unwise  to  overtask  the  religions  sensibilities,  as  to 
exhaust  the  mental  or  bodily  powers.  *  *  *  It  is  not  the  aim 
of  Providence  to  develop  the  Christian  life  in  the  soul  by  a  suc 
cession  of  spasms.  It  is  a  growth."  —  Records  of  Bubbleton 
Parish. 

SPRING  had  come !  Light  and  beauty  flooded  the 
earth ;  melody  and  fragrance  filled  the  air.  My 
heart  leaped  up  to  meet  the  embrace  of  renovated 
nature,  and  drank  in  her  heavenly  influence.  Brood 
ing  doubts  and  fears  all  fled  away,  and  in  their  stead 
came  joy  and  hope.  It  was  the  smile  of  reviving 
nature  alone  which  had  restored  my  wonted  trust 
and  lightness  of  heart.  The  vivifying  air  seemed  to 
my  sensitive  ear  whisperings  of  love  from  the  Fa 
ther's  throne.  The  birds  warbled,  and  the  burden  of 
their  song  was  love.  Everywhere,  in  everything, 
were  the  love  and  wisdom  of  the  Infinite  visible. 

Nature  is  a  true  religious  teacher ;  by  her  we  can 
never  be  deceived  or  confused.  "The.  heavens 


MARION   LESTER.  51 

declare  the  glory  of  God.  Day  unto  day  uttereth. 
speech,  and  night  unto  night  showeth  knowledge." 
The  Bible  is  often  read  with  preconceived  ideas  and 
prejudices ;  man's  vagaries  and  speculations  confound 
the  Word  of  God,  and  cruel  and  selfish  dogmas  warp 
the  human  mind.  But  the  simple,  the  unlettered, 
the  veriest  child,  can  read  untaught  from  Nature's 
open  book.  Love  is  its  universal  language,  and 
power  and  wisdom  shine  on  every  page.  The  reli 
gion  it  teaches  is  one  of  joy  and  gladness,  love  and 
trust. 

One  Saturday  afternoon,  in  the  latter  part  of  April, 
with  spirits  light  and  free,  I  joined  a  company  of  my 
schoolmates  for  a  ramble  in  the  woods.  For  several 
days  I  had  been  sad  and  anxious,  for  the  roses  on  my 
darling  Cora's  cheeks  were  fading,  and  the  fitful 
lustre  of  her  eye  was  painful  to  behold.  She  "  was 
perfectly  well,"  she  said,  "  though  perhaps  not  quite 
so  strong  as  usual." 

"  But  you  cough,  Cora." 

She  insisted  that  was  nothing;  it  was  so  very 
slight  it  did  not  annoy  her  in  the  least.  If  she 
coughed  like  Lizzie  Williams  she  might,  indeed, 
take  alarm. 

Her  reference  to  Lizzie  Williams  made  me  sadder 
than  before.  Poor  Lizzie  had  wasted  away  until  she 
was  a  mere  shadow,  and  the  physicians  said  that, 
though  she  might  live  through  the  warm  months,  she 


52  MARION  LESTER. 

must  certainly  fade  and  die  with  the  autumn  flowers. 
And  yet  she  clung  to  active  life  with  strange  tenac 
ity;  she  remained  at  school,  and  tried  to  study, 
though  often  too  weak  to  hold  a  book  in  her  skeleton 
hand.  Lizzie  was  an  orphan,  and  perhaps  that  was 
the  reason  why  she  was  permitted  to  remain  at  school 
when  she  so  much  needed  the  retirement  of  home. 

These  thoughts  saddened  me,  and  the  fear  that 
Cora  might  fade  and  pine  as  Lizzie  had  done,  sent 
keen  anguish  to  my  heart. 

But  on  this  bright  spring  day  every  trace  of  sad 
ness  was  banished  from  my  mind.  The  tide  of  life 
flowed  so  freely  in  my  veins,  and  so  joyously  did  my 
heart  bound  at  the  magic  touch  of  spring-time,  I  felt 
that  Cora,  too,  must  grow  strong  and  glad  in  the 
glorious  sunshine. 

Cora  and  I  wandered  from  the  rest.  At  length, 
very  weary,  my  friend  sat  down  at  the  foot  of  a  tow 
ering  oak.  I  scarcely  observed  her,  so  enraptured 
was  I  with  the  fascinating  scene.  My  enthusiasm 
burst  forth  in  words.  "  See,  Cora,  the  deep,  deep 
blue  of  the  sky,  and  how  sweetly  the  delicate  green 
of  the  foliage  blends  with  it !  Was  the  sunshine 
ever  so  bright  before  ?  Hear  the  birds  sing ;  they 
are  almost  mad  with  joy.  And  there  —  0,  Cora,  as 
I  live,  there  's  a  clump  of  violets  half  hid  by  that 
mossy  old  stump !  "  I  was  quite  a  child  in  my 


MARION   LESTER.  53 

demonstrations,  as  I  sprang  to  secure  the  floral  treas 
ure. 

"  Here,  dearest  Cora,  I  give  them  to  you,  the  first 
flowers  of  spring.  Just  smell  their  delicious  per 
fume."  But  my  pleasure  was  not  reflected  in  the 
eyes  of  my  friend ;  they  were  overcast  with  tears,  and 
her  cherub  lips  quivered  with  suppressed  emotion. 
Cora  in  tears  when  spring  smiled  so  beautifully  upon 
her  !  She  who  loved  nature  with  the  intensity  of 
which  such  sensitive  spirits  as  hers  only  are  capable  ! 
The  violets  so  eagerly  appropriated,  now  fell  uncared 
for  to  the  ground.  I  held  the  dear  girl  to  my  heart, 
and  kissed  the  tears  from  her  sweet  eyes. 

"  You  are  sick,  darling,  and  I  was  so  selfish  I  did 
not  see  it  before." 

"  0,  no,  I  'm  not  sick;  it  isn't  that !  " 

"Yes,  you  must  be  unwell,  or  you'd  not  look  so 
mournful  this  bright  day.  When  did  we  ever  take  a 
ramble  before,  in  which  you  did  not  outrun  me,  and 
sing,  and  laugh,  and  find  all  the  violets  before  I  could 
spy  one  ?  I  must  write  to  your  mother,  and  she  will 
send  for  you  to  go  home  and  stay  until  you  get  back 
your  lost  roses." 

"  Now,  dear  May,  don't  persuade  me  that  I  am 
sick,  for  I  am  sure  my  health  does  not  suffer  in  the 
least,  though  my  spirits  do.  Marion,  there  is  a 
weight  upon  my  heart ;  I  am  wretched." 

"How  can  that  be,  Cora?      I  know  of  nothing 


54  MARION  LESTER. 

which  should  make  you  unhappy.  I  fear  this  is  a 
morbid  state  of  mind,  and  wrong  to  indulge  in.  You 
have  ever  delighted  in  spring,  why  should  you  not 
now  ?  To  enjoy  our  blessings  with  thankful  hearts, 
is  the  only  way  we  can  show  our  gratitude  to  the 
great  Giver." 

A  shade  of  real  anguish  crossed  her  features ;  it 
was  touching  to  see  that  look  upon  her  face,  which 
had  ever  reflected  a  heart  all  sunshine  and  peace. 
"  0,  dear  friend,"  she  exclaimed,  "you  will  think 
me  very  wicked,  —  I  'm  afraid  I  am,  —  but  I  can't 
help  it !  This  light  and  beauty  make  me  sad  ;  it  all 
seems  a  dreadful  mockery,  a  gilded  show  !  Spring 
doesn't  look  as  it  once  did  to  me." 

I  stood  looking  upon  her  in  sorrow  and  perplexity. 
Gradually  a  light  dawned  upon  my  mind.  Remem 
bering  the  doubts  and  fears  which  so  shortly  ago  had 
oppressed  me,  I  thought  how  much  more  her  sensitive 
nature  must  be  affected  by  the  religious  atmosphere 
around  us.  I  began  to  comprehend  the  state  of  her 
mind,  and  to  deplore  it.  Meditating  what  course  to 
pursue,  I  passed  my  arm  about  her,  and  proposed  to 
walk  back. 

As  we  passed  along,  every  step  displaying  new 
graces,  my  spirit  caught  an  inspiration,  and  I  dis 
coursed  with  an  eloquence  which  surprised  myself  of 
the  wisdom  and  goodness,  of  the  infinite  love,  of  Him 
who  ordained  the  seasons,  and  spread  over  the  fair 


MARION  LESTER.  55 

earth  such  a  mantle  of  beauty.  I  quoted  from  Scrip 
ture,  and  from  the  words  of  our  mutual  friend  and 
brother,  Alfred,  whom  we  had  often  heard  expatiate 
most  feelingly  upon  the  blessed  assurance  which 
nature  gives,  of  the  tender  and  merciful  character 
of  the  Creator.  As  I  thus  talked,  I  had  the  satisfac 
tion  of  seeing  Cora's  countenance  brighten.  When 
we  came  out  from  the  woods,  and  beheld  the  sun  going 
down  behind  a  splendid  mass  of  golden  and  rose- 
colored  clouds,  her  eyes  sparkled  with  their  wonted 
lustre,  and  her  lips  parted  in  a  glad  smile. 

Just  then  our  companions  came  running  to  find  us. 
They  had  woven  an  exquisite  wreath  of  tiny  leaves 
and  blossoms,  and  were  loudly  calling  upon  one 
another  to  choose  a  queen. 

';  Let  us  crown  Cora  Eaton ! "  exclaimed  one,  "  she 
is  the  loveliest  of  us  all." 

'•Yes,  let  Cora  be  our  queen!"  cried  another, 
"  she  is  so  modest  and  good !  " 

"Yes,  crown  Cora!  crown  Cora!"  echoed  many 
voices. 

And  so  the  pretty  wreath  was  placed  upon  the  head 
of  my  blushing,  yet  delighted  friend.  Her  face  was 
lit  with  smiles  as  she  gracefully  received  the  innocent 
and  affectionate  tribute  to  her  beauty.  My  heart 
swelled  with  pleasure  as  I  saw  that  all  doubt  and  sor 
row  were  exorcised,  for  the  time,  at  least,  from  her 
loving  heart. 


56  MARION  LESTER. 

0,  that  a  shadow  had  never  again  enshrouded  my 
precious  Cora !  0,  that  that  tender  plant,  above  all 
others,  had  been  spared  the  rude  shock  of  that  storm 
which  bows  the  spirit  in  the  dust ! 


We  were  not  destined  to  enjoy  much  communion 
with  Spring,  for  all  that  time  which  should  have  been 
spent  in  exercising  in  the  open  air,  was  now  devoted 
to  religious  meetings.  The  revival  element  was  at 
work  in  our  midst.  Dr.  Severe  redoubled  his  zeal. 
His  pulpit  efforts  were  more  pointed  and  definite  than 
ever,  and  his  lectures  in  school  more  frequent  and 
energetic. 

Mrs.  Winthrop  was  in  her  element,  as  she  mingled 
with  the  scholars,  exhorting,  advising  and  reproving, 
with  a  proud  satisfaction.  She  resolved  there  should 
be  a  "  great  awakening  "  in  the  school,  and  she  labored 
for  that  end  with  untiring  assiduity.  During  the 
week  between  the  spring  and  summer  terms  there 
was  to  be  a  great  religious  meeting  in  that  place,  and 
her  soul's  desire  was  to  fit  and  prepare  as  many  of 
her  pupils  as  possible  to  join  the  church  at  that  event 
ful  season. 

Miss  Ingols  also  labored  for  the  same  end,  but  in  an 
essentially  different  manner.  Through  affectionate 
persuasion  and  gentle  entreaty,  she  exercised  a  much 
greater  influence  than  either  of  her  coadjutors  in  the 
work. 


MARION  LESTER.  5T 

Sarah  French  was  one  of  the  first  to  be  influenced 
by  the  "awakening"  power,  and  even  Helen  was  at 
times  grave  and  subdued.  A  marked  change  was  visi 
ble  in  Cora ;  she  was  nervous,  almost  irritable.  She 
was  restless  at  night,  and  languid  and  moody  by  day. 
I  saw  Avith  pain  that  her  health  was  suffering,  though 
she  denied  it,  and  was  half-indignant  if  I  intimated 
that  she  was  unwell. 

I  cannot  exactly  describe  my  feelings  at  this  time. 
I  was  distressed  and  perplexed.  I  was  convinced  that 
the  manner  in  which  my  schoolmates  "got  religion," 
as  they  expressed  it,  was  too  hasty  to  be  lasting.  I 
felt  that  the  excitement  was  unnatural ;  there  was  too 
much  profession,  too  much  confusion,  to  meet  with  my 
favor;  and,  yet,  I  knew  instinctively  that  all  my 
strength  of  mind  and  force  of  character  must  be 
brought  to  bear  against  this  mighty  influence,  else  I 
should  be  swept  away  in  its  irresistible  current. 

Almost  every  night  for  a  week  there  had  been  a 
prayer-meeting,  a  conference,  or  some  gathering  of 
the  whole  school,  in  order  to  keep  up  the  religious 
excitement.  On  a  certain  evening  I  had  determined 
with  myself  to  remain  quietly  in  my  room,  and,  if 
possible,  to  induce  Cora  to  stay  with  me.  Contrary 
to  my  expectations  she  willingly  consented ;  she  was 
"  so  tired,"  she  said,  that  she  should  like  a  quiet  even 
ing  once  more. 

To  my  vexation,  two  of  our  schoolmates  called  into 


58  MARION  LESTER. 

our  room  just  before  the  hour  for  conference  to  com 
mence.  (These  meetings  were  all  holden  in  the  great 
schoolroom.)  The  young  ladies  were  shocked  that  I 
should  think  of  such  a  thing  as  absenting  myself  from 
the  conference,  and  begged  me  to  change  my  determi 
nation.  I  was  resolute.  "I  have  not  had  a  decent 
lesson  for  a  Aveek,  and  I  think  it  my  duty  to  attend 
more  closely  to  my  studies." 

Helen  laughed.  "  Now,  I  like  it  first-rate  ;  it  is 
a  fine  way  to  pass  over  my  lessons.  If  I  can't  recite 
well,  I  only  look  as  pious  as  I  can,  and  murmur  some 
thing  about  prayer-meeting  or  conference,  and  that  is 
the  end  of  it." 

Edna  Marsh  looked  upon  her  in  cool  disdain,  and 
pronounced  her  a  vain,  giddy  flirt. 

Helen  took  fire  at  this,  and  snappishly  declared  she 
had  rather  be  vain  and  giddy,  than  to  pretend  to  be 
so  mighty  pious  and  good,  as  some  folks  did. 

Edna  colored,  but  did  not  deign  a  reply.  She  said 
no  more  to  me ;  evidently  my  firm  expression  dis 
heartened  her ;  so  she  attacked  Cora.  "  You  will  go 
with  us,  won't  you,  dear  Cora  ?  What  would  Mrs. 
Winthrop  say  at  your  absence  ?  Lizzie  Williams  wants 
you  to  sit  with  her.  Come,  now,  that's  a  good  girl." 

Cora  looked  from  her  to  me  irresolutely.  I 
answered  for  her,  "  No,  she  is  going  to  stay  with  me." 
But  Edna  took  her  hand,  and  was  leading  her  off  per 
force.  "  Now,  Cora,"  I  pleaded,  "  you  ought  not  to 


MARION  LESTER.  59 

go  to-night ;  you  are  tired  and  nervous.  So  much 
excitement  is  bad  for  you ;  it  is  unnatural  and  un- 
healthful.  Really,  I  shan't  let  you  go." 

But  Cora  was  over-persuaded,  and,  kissing  my 
forehead,  said  she  must  brave  my  authority.  I  would 
not  return  her  caress,  for  I  was  much  vexed;  nor 
would  I  look  at  her  again,  though  I  was  conscious  that 
she  turned  back  with  a  wounded  expression  as  she  left 
the  room. 

Angry  at  what  I  considered  perversity  in  Cora, 
and  still  more  grieved  than  angry,  oppressed  with 
loneliness  and  disappointment,  I  laid  my  head  upon 
the  table,  and  yielded  to  a  burst  of  tears.  After 
some  moments  spent  in  the  indulgence  of  my  emo 
tions,  I  hastily  committed  my  lesson,  and  then  retired 
to  rest  before  the  return  of  my  room-mates. 

I  was  awakened  in  the  night  by  low,  suppressed 
sobbings.  Turning  my  head,  I  beheld  Cora  sitting  up 
in  bed,  in  a  most  forlorn  and  despairing  attitude,  and 
rocking  her  body  backwards  and  forwards.  I  started 
up  in  alarm,  and  besought  her  to  tell  me  the  cause 
of  her  distress.  She  did  not  alter  her  position,  nor 
cease  her  piteous  moaning.  Shaking  her  by  the 
shoulder,  I  implored  her  to  look  up,  and  not  weep  so 
wildly. 

The  full  moon  shone  in  through  the  parted  curtain, 
and  I  could  distinctly  see  her  face  as  she  slowly 
turned  it  towards  mine.  Its  expression  caused  my 


60  MARION  LESTER. 

heart  to  quiver  with  an  undefined  fear.  Every  feat 
ure  was  convulsed  with  agony;  her  dove-like  eyes 
were  red  and  fearfully  distended,  and  the  veins  in  her 
delicately-arched  throat  swollen  almost  to  bursting. 

"Cora,  darling,  what  is  the  matter?  Are  you 
sick  ?  has  any  one  injured  you  ?  or  perhaps  you  have 
had  a  frightful  dream,  and  are  not  yet  quite  awakened 
from  it?" 

"Dream!  "  she  repeated  in  a  thrilling  whisper. 
"It  seems  like  an  awful  dream;  but  it  isn't,  for  I 
have  n't  slept.  I  don't  dare  go  to  sleep,  for  I  might 
die  before  I  should  wake  !  And  I  have  n't  made  my 
peace  with  God !  I  am  so  wicked,  so  wicked !  0, 
Marion,  what  shall  I  do  ?  "  She  clung  to  me  con 
vulsively,  as  though  I  could  save  her  from  some 
threatened  danger. 

"  Calm  yourself,  dear  Cora;  you  are  not  wicked ; 
you  never  committed  a  wilful  sin  in  your  life." 

"  O,  yes  I  am  !  "  she  persisted.  "  My  heart  is 
dreadfully  sinful  and  depraved ;  and  I  don't  know 
how  to  get  a  new  heart !  I  'm  afraid  I  never  can,  I 
am  so  wicked,  so  dreadful  wicked !  "  She  resumed 
her  former  position  of  abject  despair,  moaning  and 
sobbing  like  a  sick  babe. 

Trembling  for  the  sanity  of  my  friend,  I  rose  up 
in  haste,  to  get  some  nervine  from  a  little  medicine- 
case  which  my  thoughtful  mother  had  placed  in  my 
trunk.  By  dint  of  coaxing  and  scolding,  I  succeeded 


MARION   LESTER.  61 

'in  inducing  her  to  swallow  a  portion,  and  then,  rock 
ing  her  like  an  infant  in  my  arms,  I  soothed  her  with 
every  endearing  and  encouraging  word.  At  length 
she  fell  asleep,  and  I  laid  her  head  upon  the  pillow. 

Then,  in  bitterness  of  spirit,  did  I  weep  over  my  poor 
wounded  flower.  How  I  reproached  myself  for  my 
momentary  unkindness  the  evening  before  !  Poor 
child !  she  was  not  accountable ;  for  a  strange  fascina 
tion  dwelt  in  that  very  excitement  which  was  a  bane 
to  her  life. 

Can  this  be  the  efiect  of  real  religion  ?  Does  it 
make  the  pure  and  innocent  hearted  shrink  with  ter 
ror  and  alarm  ?  Can  the  message  brought  by  Jesus 
fill  the  sensitive  and  loving  soul  with  bitterness  and 
woe  ?  Is  such  the  religion  I  must  seek  ere  I  can  be 
saved  ?  Thus  I  queried,  in  sadness  and  doubt,  as  the 
night  waned. 

Cora  slept  late  in  the  morning.  I  told  our  room 
mates  she  was  sick  in  the  night,  and  they  stepped 
lightly  and  spoke  in  whispers,  fearing  to  awake  the 
pale  sleeper.  After  breakfast,  I  found  her  up,  but 
languid  and  depressed.  Mrs.  Winthrop  and  Miss  In- 
gols  both  came  in  to  inquire  for  her  health.  One 
brought  a  dose  of  medicine,  and  the  other  a  bunch  of 
flowers.  They  told  her  to  do  nothing,  but  remain 
quiet  all  day.  "  You  may  stay  in  my  room  to-day, 
or  sit  with  Lizzie  Williams ;  she  would  be  glad  of 
your  company,"  said  Miss  Ingols. 


62  MARION  LESTER. 

"Yes,"  added  Mrs.  Winthrop,  "do  anything  you 
please,  only  be  sure  and  get  well  enough  to  attend  our 
meeting  this  evening." 

I  said  nothing,  while  I  inwardly  resolved  that  she 
should  not  attend  the  meeting  if  I  could  prevent  her. 

After  tea,  I  managed  to  have  Cora  in  our  own  room. 
I  persuaded  her  to  lie  down,  and,  to  my  great  satis 
faction,  she  soon  fell  asleep.  Edna  Marsh  called  again 
at  our  door.  "I  suppose,  Miss  Lester,"  she  said, 
"you  will  not  join  our  prayer-meeting  to-night ;  but, 
of  course,  Cora  will  do  so  ?  " 

"  I  think  she  will  not,"  I  replied,  pointing  to  the 
beautiful  slumberer.  "  She  has  been  quite  unwell  to 
day,  and  has  just  fallen  asleep." 

"  She  will  probably  awake  soon.  I  will  wait  for 
her,  for  I  know  she  will  be  disappointed  if  I  do  not. 
It  can't  hurt  her  to  go  to  the  meeting,  as  she  will  not 
have  to  go  out  of  doors." 

"  I  am  sure  it  would  hurt  her,  and  I  shan't  let  her 
go  ;  therefore,  I  beg  you  not  to  wait." 

"  Indeed !  you  appear  to  have  great  authority  here," 
sneered  Edna. 

"  Whether  it  be  rightful  authority  or  not,  I  mean 
to  maintain  it  on  this  occasion,"  retorted  I,  with  spirit. 
"  Cora  was  dreadfully  excited  last  night,  and  I  know 
that  to  be  the  entire  cause  of  her  illness  to-day.  I 
mean  to  keep  her  as  quiet  as  possible  until  she  is 
stronger  in  body  and  mind." 


MARION  LESTER.  63 

"  I  suppose  it  will  do  no  good  to  dispute  with  you," 
said  Edna,  spitefully  ;  "  so  I  will  leave  ;  but  I  must 
confess  I  think  your  influence  very  pernicious  ;  "  and, 
with  a  disagreeable  smile,  she  turned  away. 

Sarah  and  Helen,  who  had  remained  silent  during 
our  colloquy,  now  rose  to  follow  her.  Helen  paused 
a  moment  to  look  affectionately  upon  the  sleeping  girl. 
u  Poor  Cora,"  she  whispered,  "  she  does  look  very 
pale ;  I  'm  glad,  Marion,  you  sent  that  disagreeable 
Edna  away,  for  I  can  see  she  is  bound  to  make  a  con 
vert  of  her.  Now,  Cora  and  I  are  alike  in  some 
things.  We  both  like  fun  and  frolic ;  but  Cora  is 
so  sensitive  and  confiding,  that  she  takes  every  ridicu 
lous  thing  that 's  said  about  religion  as  pure  law  and 
gospel ;  and  I  do  believe,  if  Dr.  Severe  should  tell  her 
it  was  wicked  for  her  to  have  any  heart  at  all,  she  'd 
think  't  was  just  so.  Excitement  don't  hurt  me,  —  it 
does  me  good ;  and  I  a' n't  obliged  to  believe  any  more 
of  the  preaching  than  I  'm  a  mind  to." 

"  Dear  Helen,  don't  talk  so  !"  said  Sarah,  with  a 
sigh  ;  "  I  am  afraid  it  is  very  wrong." 

On  the  morrow,  Cora  was  quite  like  herself,  thanks 
to  a  night  of  uninterrupted  repose.  I  rejoiced  in  my 
friend's  improved  looks,  unconscious  of  the  storm 
hovering  on  the  verge  of  my  horizon. 

"  I  am  glad  we  can  stay  peaceably  in  our  own  rooms, 
for  once,"  said  Helen,  that  night.  "  I  'm  heartily  sick 
of  these  everlasting  meetings.  But  you,  poor  Marion, : ' 


64  MARION  LESTER. 

she  continued,  with  a  sympathizing  face,  "have  got 
to  join  a  conference-meeting  not  of  the  most  agreea 
ble  nature,  I  fear.  I  have  just  been  called  into  Dr. 
Severe's  study,  where  he,  and  Mrs.  Winthrop,  and 
Miss  Ingols.  were  all  seated  in  great  state.  They 
wished  to  know  if  I  knew  why  you  had  absented  your 
self  from  the  evening  meetings  ;  and,  also,  if  I  thought 
you  had  tried  to  influence  any  of  the  scholars  against 
them.  I  assure  you,  dearest  May,  I  was  careful  not 
to  commit  you,  and  only  admitted  that  you  had  per 
suaded  Cora  to  remain  with  you  one  night,  on  account 
of  her  illness." 

"  Is  that  all  they  said?  "  I  asked,  in  some  appre 
hension. 

"  No.  The  doctor  bade  me  request  Miss  Lester  to 
go  directly  to  him,  as  he  wishes  to  hold  some  conver 
sation  with  her." 

The  faces  of  my  companions  expressed  anxiety  and 
sympathy.  Cora  really  looked  alarmed,  so  fearful 
was  she  that  she  was  the  cause  of  my  trouble.  I  did 
not  wait  for  any  condolence,  however,  but  went 
directly  to  the  professor's  study. 

"  I  venture  to  say  this  comes  of  that  tattling,  spite 
ful  Edna  Marsh !  "  was  the  indignant  exclamation  of 
Helen,  as  I  closed  the  door. 

I  tried  to  wear  a  dignified,  unembarrassed  air,  but 
my  self-possession  failed  me  as  I  crossed  the  thresh 
old  of  the  doctor's  sanctum.  The  doctor  adjusted  his 


MARION  LESTER.  65 

glasses,  and  gazed  at  me  in  a  sort  of  grave  wonder. 
Mrs.  Winthrop  threw  upon  me  a  quick  repellant  glance 
from  her  sharp  eyes,  and  curled  her  lip  as  though  I 
was  an  object  of  scorn.  Miss  Ingols'  face  was  hidden 
by  her  hand,  which  she  did  not  remove  once  during 
the  whole  interview. 

An  ominous  silence  reigned,  as  I  sat  down  with  a 
loudly-beating  heart.  Dr.  Severe' s  harsh  voice,  as  it 
broke  the  silence,  seemed  to  my  frightened  ears  louder 
and  more  grating  than  ever. 

"  I  wish  to  converse  with  you,"  he  said,  "  on  a 
very  important  subject,  apparently  a  subject  which 
you  regard  lightly,  but  which  is  truly  momentous. 
Impelled  by  a  desire  to  build  up  Christ's  kingdom  on 
earth,  wishing  to  save  as  many  as  possible  from  end 
less  death,  I  have,  with  my  assistants,  striven  to 
awaken  the  hearts  of  my  pupils  to  the  interests  of 
religion.  And  I  am  happy  to  say  I  have,  in  a  meas 
ure,  succeeded ;  for  several  already  have  given  signs 
of  a  hopeful  conversion,  and  many  more  are  awakened 
to  a  sense  of  their  danger.  But  one  scholar,  one 
obstinate,  unrepentant  child,  may  counteract  much  of 
this  good  influence.  Such  a  person  may,  directly  or 
indirectly,  either  by  words  or  example,  prevent  her 
companions  from  seeking  Christ,  and  thus  imperil 
their  souls'  salvation.  Do  you  know  such  a  one? 
or  have  you  no  idea  of  your  great  accountability  for 
every  word  and  act  of  your  life  ?  " 
5 


66  MARION  LESTER. 

I  tried  to  reply,  but  the  words  died  on  my  lipg.  He 
continued,  with  still  greater  severity  : 

"  If  your  natural  heart,  vrhich  is  totally  depraved 
and  sinful,  causes  you  to  be  careless  of  your  own  sal 
vation,  why  should  you  prevent  others  from  seeking 
eternal  life  ?  " 

I  now  rallied  from  the  effect  of  his  absurd  and  un 
called-for  accusations,  and  answered  with  considerable 
dignity :  "  I  would  not  be  careless  of  my  own  salva 
tion,  which  I  know  is  of  infinite  importance ;  much 
less  have  I  attempted  to  deter  others  from  obtaining 
salvation.  You  are  mistaken,  sir,  in  imputing  such 
thoughts  or  actions  to  me." 

"  Why,  then,  did  you  keep  away  from  our  evening 
meetings?"  asked  Mrs.  Winthrop,  quickly.  "Why 
did  you  repeatedly  urge  Cora  Eaton  to  remain  with 
you?  And  last  night  did  you  not  overpower  the 
wishes  of  one  deeply  interested  in  her  eternal  welfare, 
and  send  her  away  most  insultingly  ?  What  do  you 
mean  by  such  phrases  as  '  unhealthful,  unnatural 
excitement  ? '  ! 

"  First  tell  me  why  you  tired  so  soon  of  our  relig 
ious  meeting  ?  "  asked  the  doctor,  in  a  grave,  author 
itative  way,  very  unlike  his  sister's  taunting,  half- 
triumphant  manner. 

"I  thought  they  took  too  much  time  from  my 
studies.  I  could  not  learn  my  lessons  properly  unless 
I  sat  up  nearly  all  night." 


MARION   LESTER.  67 

"  Intellectual  education  is  important,"  he  said, 
rather  evading  my  direct  answer  to  his  question; 
"  but  it  sinks  into  insignificance  when  compared  to 
the  interests  of  religion.  I  think  your  reason  shows 
little  respect  for  the  judgment  of  your  teachers,  and 
sets  your  own  will  above  theirs.  Was  your  object,  in 
telling  your  friend  Cora  so  much  about  *  dangerous 
excitement,'  merely  to  keep  her  from  the  meetings  so 
that  she  could  study  better  ?  " 

"  No,  sir." 

"  What,  then,  was  your  object?  " 

I  dreaded  the  reception  which  I  feared  my  answer 
would  meet.  Hesitatingly  I  said  :  "  Cora  was  very 
nervous  and  excitable,  and  I  thought  she  needed  rest 
and  quiet.  I  really  feared  she  would  become  sick  if 
her  mind  remained  in  such  a  state  of  agitation  —  " 

' '  And  so  you  tried  to  frighten  her  by  talking  about 
dangerous  excitement!  "  interrupted  Mrs.  Winthrop. 
"  You  went  so  far  as  to  say  that  her  indisposition 
yesterday  was  the  effect  of  a  highly- wrought  state  of 
mind !  What  ignorance  !  what  perversity  !  " 

"  Truly  my  sister  may  say  '  What  ignorance,  what 
perversity  ! '"  said  the  doctor.  "  Cora  was  in  a  most 
desirable  state  of  mind.  Her  agitation  was  the  striv 
ing  of  the  Spirit  with  her  natural  heart,  and  the 
result  might  have  been  a  glorious  one  had  you  not 
interfered.  I  cannot  express  my  regret.  I  fear  your 
influence  is  pernicious.  Through  your  own  admission. 


68  MAKION   LESTER. 

as  well  as  from  other  sources,  do  I  arrive  at  this  con 
clusion.  If  you  continue  to  make  such  strange  and 
injurious  remarks  to  your  companions,  or  still  keep 
away  from  our  religious  meetings,  I  shall  think  it  my 
duty  to  remove  you  entirely  from  the  society  of  your 
friend  Cora ;  in  short,  give  you  a  room  to  yourself, 
with  no  companion  whom  you  can  contaminate.  I 
will  wait  a  few  days,  to  give  you  time  to  retrieve  your 
character,  hoping,  in  the  mean  time,  your  heart  will 
be  awakened  to  repentance  and  newness  of  life." 

He  rose,  as  a  sign  that  he  had  done  with  me.  I  left 
the  room  with  streaming  eyes,  and  a  heart  swelling 
with  wounded  feeling  and  a  deep  sense  of  injustice. 

Miss  Ingols  must  have  followed  me  quickly,  for 
before  I  had  gained  my  door,  her  arm  was  about  me, 
and  she  drew  my  head  upon  her  bosom.  "  Dear 
Marion,"  she  whispered ;  "  don't  take  it  so  much  to 
heart.  I  know,  however  much  you  may  have  mis 
taken  your  duty,  you  meant  no  harm.  I  understand 
you  better  than  they.  Only  do  right  now,  and  they 
will  know  you  as  I  do." 

I  thanked  her,  but  could  say  no  more,  so  violent 
was  my  emotion. 

"  Grod  grant  that  this  circumstance  may  not  con 
firm  your  prejudices  against  religion !  I  beseech 
you,  Marion,  to  heed  the  instructions  given  you. 
Perhaps  you  may  yet  obtain  the  'pearl  of  great 
price.' " 


MAKION  LESTER.  69 

The  hall  was  dark,  and  I  could  not  see  her  face ; 
but  there  was  an  energy  in  her  tones  I  never  had 
heard  before,  and  the  cheek  pressed  to  mine  was  wet 
with  tears. 


CHAPTER  VI. 

A  NEW  METHOD,   WHICH  PROVES  MORE    EFFECTIVE 
THAN  THE  FORMER. 

I  WAS  unhappy.  My  first  impulse  was  to  write  to 
my  parents,  requesting  them  to  take  me  home.  But 
second  thoughts  convinced  me  of  the  impropriety  of 
that  course.  My  father  and  mother  had  just  started 
on  a  tour  through  the  Western  States,  which  would 
occupy  several  months ;  therefore  our  house  was  shut 
up.  I  did  not  wish  to  pain  my  parents,  as  I  knew  it 
would,  if  they  were  aware  of  all  the  circumstances 
surrounding  me ;  and  of  course  I  could  not,  nor  did  I 
wish  to  go  to  my  now  lonely  home. 

Therefore  I  resolved  to  remain,  to  perform  my 
duty,  and  be  patient  and  submissive.  I  would  outlive 
the  aspersions  of  those  who  so  misunderstood  me,  and 
prove  them  false  by  my  uprightness  of  conduct. 

Cora  continued  in  the  same  fitful,  excited  state. 
Often  at  midnight  did  she  weep  upon  my  bosom, 
bemoaning  her  imaginary  or  exaggerated  sins,  and 
shrinking  from  the  wrath  of  God.  At  such  times  I 


MARION  LESTER.  71 

would  soothe  her  as  best  I  could,  and  afterwards  keep 
my  own  counsel,  for  experience  had  taught  me  to  be 
discreet.  In  every  minute  particular  I  strove  to  meet 
the  wishes  of  my  teachers,  and  yet  Mrs.  Winthrop 
was  cold  and  severe ;  and  sometimes,  when  addressing 
the  scholars,  the  doctor  would  make  some  cutting 
remark,  so  personal  and  rebuking  that  my  cheeks 
would  tingle  and  my  eyes  swell  with  coming  tears. 

Between  the  hours  of  nine  and  eleven  I  practised 
on  Miss  Ingols'  piano,  while  she  gave  lessons  in 
another  part  of  the  house.  On  one  occasion  I  took 
my  history  with  me,  and  after  my  practice  I  en 
sconced  myself  on  the  wide,  sunny  window-seat,  to 
study.  The  adjoining  room  was  Lizzie  Williams', 
where  the  pale  invalid  sat  all  day,  in  a  large  rocking- 
chair,  surrounded  by  her  books.  The  door  communi 
cating  between  the  two  rooms  was  slightly  ajar,  and 
I  distinctly  heard  some  persons  enter  Lizzie's  room. 
I  recognized  the  voices  of  Mrs.  Winthrop  and  Miss 
Ingols,  but  did  not  heed  the  conversation  until  the 
sound  of  my  own  name  arrested  my  attention,  and 
I  became  the  unwilling  auditor  of  their  colloquy. 

"  To  be  sure,  since  the  occasion  to  which  you  re 
fer,  Marion  Lester  has  attended  every  meeting,  and  I 
have  heard  no  more  of  her  injurious  speeches ;  but 
still  I  think  her  influence  is  to  cool  the  zeal  of  many 
of  her  companions.  When  all  the  rest  are  crying  and 
praying  about  her,  she  sits  as  immovable  as  a  statue. 


72  MARION  LESTER. 

Now,  if  she  had  got  religion,  it  would  look  very 
proper  in  her ;  but,  as  it  is,  I  think  it  is  sheer  obsti 
nacy." 

"  Dear  Mrs.  Winthrop,"  said  Lizzie's  feeble  voice, 
"  I  think  you  are  mistaken  ;  perhaps  she  is  praying 
in  her  heart  all  the  time." 

"Perhaps  so,"  was  the  reply,  with  a  doubting 
emphasis.  "  But  what  a  contrast  she  is  to  Cora 
Eaton  !  She  is  a  most  promising  convert,  and,  after 
all  our  efforts,  I  can't  say  that  of  more  than  half  a 
dozen.  Now  Marion  is  very  popular  in  the  school, 
and,  she  has  such  a  '  taking '  way  with  her,  if  she 
would  seek  religion  many  would  follow  her." 

Now  I  heard  the  gentle  tones  of  Miss  Ingols.  "  I 
think  if  she  should  become  converted  she  might  bring 
many  more  into  the  fold  of  Christ.  Though  Marion 
has  strong  feeling,  I  am  convinced  she  will  never 
accept  religion  through  fear,  —  something  besides  her 
emotions  must  be  worked  upon.  She  has  a  thinking 
mind,  and  that  must  be  affected.  Her  intellect  must 
question,  her  reason  must  be  satisfied,  before  she  can 
be  won  over." 

"Yes,  that  is  it,"  was  the  reply;  "she  must  be 
reasoned  with.  I  can  talk  with  a  dozen  doctors  bet 
ter  than  I  can  with  her,  for  she  won't  take  a  single 
statement  for  granted,  but  must  have  a  profound  rea 
son  for  every  word  I  utter.  I  am  quite  in  despair 
about  her." 


MAKION  LESTER.  73 

"  Perhaps,"  suggested  Miss  Ingols,  "  we  have  not 
taken  the  best  course  with  her.  We  may  have  been 
a  little  too  harsh.  A  little  persuasion  and  argument 
might  influence  her." 

"  0,  I  presume,"  said  Mrs.  Winthrop,  in  a  quick, 
sarcastic  tone,  "  I  presume  my  brother,  the  profes 
sor,  has  made  a  great  mistake  in  this  instance ;  and 
you  have  the  rare  penetration  to  discover  it,  and 
to  analyze  the  incomprehensible  character  of  this 
young  lady  !  But,  according  to  your  theory,  she 
may  yet  be  saved,  for  Rev.  Mr.  Delano  will  preach 
next  Sunday,  and  remain  in  the  vicinity  until 
after  the  great  convention.  He  is  young  and  tal 
ented,  and  people  say  he  is  very  persuasive,  and 
wins  a  great  many  into  the  church.  His  gentle 
hands  may  break  the  rock  which  resisted  the  fire  and 
steel!" 

Miss  Ingols'  voice  was  sweet  and  unruffled,  as  she 
said : 

"  It  is  very  true  that  different  minds  must  be  influ 
enced  by  different  circumstances.  I  hope  this  Mr. 
Delano  will  prove  as  you  describe  him,  and  win 
Marion,  as  well  as  others,  to  Christ." 

"0,  I  do  hope  so  !  "  said  Lizzie,  eagerly.  "  May 
is  a  dear  girl,  and  I  long  to  have  her  enjoy  salva 
tion  !  " 

Mrs.  Winthrop  said,  quite  graciously,  "  I  am  sure 
I  hope  so,  too.  Mr.  Delano  must  be  here  as  much  aa 


74  MARION    LESTER. 

possible,  and  he  shall  have  a  chance  to  influence  her, 
for  I  am  particularly  anxious  about  Marion,  as  she 
will  lead  the  rest." 

Here  I  slipped  softly  from  my  seat,  and  left 
the  room,  agitated  with  various  emotions.  I  was 
half  angry,  half  amused ;  my  pride  was  wounded ; 
and  yet  I  remembered  that  Lizzie  had  spoken  of  me 
affectionately,  and  Miss  Ingols  with  respect. 

"  And  so  they  think  me  a  wicked  unregenerate !  " 
I  said  to  myself.  "  But  there  is  a  faint  hope  in  this 
Mr.  Delano,  —  he,  with  his  youth,  and  talents,  and 
persuasive  powers,  may  win  me  into  the  arms  of  the 
church  —  possibly  !  '  He  shall  have  every  opportu 
nity  to  influence  her.'  0,  yes,  they  will  form  an 
amiable  conspiracy  to  convert  me,  because  I  am  pop 
ular  among  my  companions,  and  may  lead  them ! 
Now,  Marion,  to  be  forewarned  is  to  be  twice  armed. 
Keep  your  reason  clear,  and  don't  yield  at  the  first 
alarm." 

In  spite  of  the  great  resistance  I  was  to  hold  out 
against  this  new  instrument  for  making  proselytes,  I 
had  a  girlish  curiosity  to  see  the  young  and  talented 
Delano.  As  he  arose  in  the  pulpit,  I  fastened  my 
eyes  eagerly  upon  him.  He  was  eminently  handsome 
—  his  wavy  hair  was  thrown  up  from  his  white  brow  ; 
his  brown  eyes  were  lighted  with  a  pleasant  expres 
sion  ;  his  complexion  was  exceedingly  delicate,  and 


MARION   LESTER.  75 

his  finely-cut  lips  parted,  displaying  two  rows  of 
pearls.  His  voice  was  both  musical  and  powerful, 
and  his  address  very  graceful.  He  was,  in  person  and 
manner,  calculated  to  captivate  the  imaginative  and 
susceptible. 

Yet,  when  Arthur  "Willis  rose  to  lead  in  prayer 
(he  had,  of  late,  sat  in  the  pulpit  and  assisted  in  the 
exercise,  thus  preparing  himself  to  enter  upon  the 
duties  of  the  ministry),  I  thought  his  countenance 
expressive  of  a  higher  intellectuality,  and  his  simple 
manner  preferable  to  the  studied  grace  of  the  other. 
But,  after  all,  he  was  too  pale,  too  grave,  and  sad- 
looking,  to  compare  favorably  with  Mr.  Delano. 

The  sermon  was  so  unlike  what  I  had  ever  heard 
in  that  desk  before ;  it  was  so  new,  so  beautiful  in 
conception,  that  I  was  delighted.  It  was  brilliant, 
poetic;  with  many  bursts  of  real  eloquence.  His 
subject  was  "  God  seen  in  Nature,"  and  he  handled 
it  in  a  masterly  manner,  scarce  once  touching  upon 
those  grim  doctrinal  points  to  which  I  was  so  averse. 
As  he  sat  down  in  the  hush  succeeding  his  last  lofty 
flight  of  eloquence,  I  felt  that  I  was  vanquished 
through  my  weakest  points ;  my  fancy  and  imagina 
tion  were  full-fed,  my  love  for  the  beautiful  and 
poetic  well  satisfied. 

The  afternoon  discourse  was  very  different.  His 
style  was  tender  and  affecting,  and  his  sermon  a  union 
of  the  doctrinal  and  practical. 


76  MARION    LESTER. 

But,  in  the  evening,  it  seemed  as  though  he  had 
united  all  his  forces  to  thrill  his  audience  through 
and  through  ;  his  oratory  was  the  most  singular  and 
effective  I  had  ever  heard.  His  voice  was  capable  of 
every  intonation,  and,  with  that  powerful  instrument, 
he  swayed  his  hearers  at  his  pleasure.  His  descrip 
tions  were  the  most  terrific,  his  appeals  the  most 
direct  and  affecting.  In  language  which  I  cannot 
paint  he  described  the  lost,  the  deplorable  state  of 
humanity.  A  visible  shiver  passed  through  many 
forms,  as  he  pictured  the  all-wise,  all-powerful 
Jehovah  —  the  Perfect,  the  Just !  —  He  whose  su 
premacy  was  so  awful,  whose  power  was  so  infinite ! 
And  we.  frail,  trembling  mortals,  were  alienated  from 
his  love,  and  subjects  of  his  eternal  displeasure.  The 
same  ideas,  expressed  in  the  harsh  language  and 
stentorian  voice  of  Dr.  Severe,  had  filled  me  with 
disgust ;  but  now  the  language  and  manner  were  so 
different,  that  I  was  melted  at  once.  The  working 
of  the  speaker's  face,  his  flashing  eye  and  impassioned 
gestures,  all  attested  that  he  was  fearfully  impressed 
with  his  awful  theme. 

And  then,  when  all  hearts  were  quaking  with  fear, 
he  suddenly  changed  his  deep  and  solemn  tones  to 
the  most  tender  and  touching  accents.  He  spoke  of 
Jesus,  the  kind,  and  merciful,  and  loving  friend. 
He  called  him  the  blessed  Prince  of  peace,  the  willing 
Saviour  of  all  who  would  come  to  him.  At  the 


MARION  LESTER.  77 

right  hand  of  the  Father  he  was  ever  making  inter 
cession  for  the  children  of  men ;  and  ever  with  out 
stretched  arms  inviting  the  lost  to  rest  in  his  bosom. 
He  was  ever  pleading,  ever  striving  with  sinful  man  ! 

Then  the  preacher,  with  open  arms  and  streaming 
eyes,  besought  the  lost  wretches  before  him  to  flee  to 
that  only  refuge  from  the  wrath  of  God ;  to  accept 
the  proffered  mercy  ere  it  were  too  late ;  to  throw 
themselves  into  Jesus'  arms,  before  death  should 
shut  the  gate  of  hope  and  seal  their  despair. 

The  effect  upon  the  audience  was  electrical.  Loud 
sobs  and  suppressed  shrieks  attested  to  the  high- 
wrought  state  of  feeling.  I  rose  involuntarily  to  my 
feet,  with  suffocation  on  my  heart,  and  a  burning, 
agonizing  fear  scorching  my  brain. 

0,  Marion !  where  now  is  thy  clear  reason,  and 
questioning  mind?  All  deluged  in  the  surging 
waves  of  terror  and  alarm  ! 


On  the  morrow,  when  the  school  assembled  for 
prayers,  Mr.  Delano  was  present,  and  led  in  the 
service.  He  made  a  very  interesting  speech,  which 
had  the  agreeable  power  of  leaving  both  teachers  and 
pupils  in  a  high  state  of  self-satisfaction.  As,  with 
hat  in  hand,  he  bowed  his  adieu,  the  professor  in 
vited  him  to  attend  the  inquiry-meeting  which  was 
appointed  for  the  evening ;  which  invitation  he  prom 
ised  to  accept. 


78  MARION   LESTER. 

Here  was  a  new  inducement  for  everybody  to  be 
at  the  inquiry-meeting,  for  Mr.  Delano  enjoyed  a 
most  enviable  popularity,  especially  among  the  girls. 
"  He  was  the  handsomest  and  smartest  minister  in 
the  world.  He  was  a  perfect  darling !  "  &c.  &c.  All 
were  loud  in  their  praises,  but  Cora,  who  looked  even 
more  sober  than  usual. 

"  Why  don't  you  speak  ?  "  said  the  lively  Helen. 
"  Don't  you  think,  Cora,  he  is  a  wonderful  man  ? 
What  a  beautiful  voice  he  has,  and  how  affectingly  he 
talked  last  night !  Why,  he  made  me  shiver  all  over, 
and  when  they  all  burst  out  a-crying,  I  certainly 
thought  I  should  go  into  fits  !  Is  n't  he  very  elo 
quent?" 

I  saw  Cora's  pale  cheek  turn  still  whiter,  as  Helen 
so  characteristically  described  the  effects  of  his  elo 
quence.  She  smiled,  however,  as  she  said  she 
thought  Mr.  Delano  a  very  remarkable  man ;  still, 
she  believed  she  was  afraid  of  him. 

"  Afraid  of  him !  what  a  little  mystery  you  are  ! 
But  I  must  hurry  up  my  lessons ;  for  what  if  Mr. 
Delano  should  take  it  into  his  head  to  be  present  at 
some  of  the  recitations?  "  Here  the  giddy  girl  com 
menced  studying  with  great  earnestness.  This 
remarkable  fit  of  industry  lasted  just  ten  minutes, 
and  then  Helen  was  flitting  from  one  thing  to 
another  about  the  same  as  usual. 

At  the  inquiry-meeting  I  was  more  like  myself 


MARION   LESTER.  79 

than  on  the  preceding  evening.  I  regretted  I  had 
been  so  carried  away  by  the  excitement,  and  promised 
myself  that  I  would  retain  a  firmer  hold  upon  my 
nerves  and  susceptibilities.  Thus  fortified,  I  was 
enabled  to  remain  tolerably  calm  while  in  the  midst 
of  an  unusually  exciting  meeting. 

On  "Wednesday  the  French  girls,  Cora  and  myself, 
were  invited  by  Mrs.  Winthrop  to  spend  the  evening 
with  her  in  her  private  parlor.  Helen  was  delighted, 
and  flew  to  the  glass  to  rearrange  her  hair,  mean 
while  chattering  as  fast  as  possible.  "  Mrs.  Win 
throp  used  to  invite  her  scholars  into  her  room  when 
ministers  called  there ;  but  now  it  is  a  great  while 
since  she  has  done  so.  Mr.  Delano  will  be  there,  of 
course,  and  Arthur  Willis,  I  dare  say.  I  hope  so, 
at  least,  for  I  have  n't  spoken  to  a  man  or  a  boy, 
for  over  a  month,  Dr.  Severe  excepted." 

The  strict  rules  of  the  seminary,  forbidding  all 
conversation  and  communication  between,  the  sexes, 
were  particularly  obnoxious  to  Helen,  who  loved 
dearly  to  "  chat  with  the  beaux,"  as  she  expressed  it. 
These  rules  had  been  rigidly  enforced,  until  about  the 
time  of  my  entrance  into  the  school.  An  eccentric 
patron  of  the  institution  had  induced  the  doctor  to 
annul  the  most  rigid  of  these  regulations,  and,  for  a 
time,  all  the  pupils  met  freely,  at  table,  and  in  all 
the  public  apartments  of  the  institute.  But  in  the 
spring  the  old  rules  were  put  into  active  force  again, 


80  MARION   LESTER. 

the  doctor  pronouncing  the  experiment  he  had  tried 
a  most  dangerous  one,  as  the  freedom  allowed  pro 
duced  too  much  mirth  and  hilarity  among  the  scholars, 
and  distracted  their  attention  from  religious  subjects. 

But  I  am  digressing.  At  first  I  felt  pleased  at 
this  unexpected  compliment  paid  to  my  companions 
and  myself ;  then  the  conversation  I  had  overheard  a 
few  days  before,  recurred  to  my  memory,  and  mate 
rially  dampened  my  ardor.  I  gravely  made  a  few 
additions  to  my  toilet,  while  the  others  laughed  and 
chatted  in  a  flutter  of  anticipation.  Resolving  to  be 
very  reserved  during  the  whole  evening,  I  followed 
my  friends  into  the  parlor. 

Both  the  doctor's  and  Mrs.  Winthrop's  reception 
of  me  assured  me  of  their  restored  favor.  Darling 
Cora  felt  it  even  before  I  did.  I  knew  it  by  the 
sudden  joyful  flash  of  her  blue  eye.  As  we  expected, 
Mr.  Delano  and  Arthur  "Willis  were  present,  also 
gentle  Miss  Ingols.  After  the  ceremony  of  introduc 
tion,  we  seated  ourselves  in  a  row,  and  Dr.  Severe 
and  Mr.  Delano  resumed  the  thread  of  conversation 
which  our  entrance  had  broken. 

At  first  I  was  inclined  to  listen  to  their  discussion 
of  some  knotty  theological  point,  but  immediately 
thinking  better  of  it,  I  directed  my  attention  to 
Arthur.  The  young  man  was  in  a  thoughtful  mood, 
and  I  could  scarcely  elicit  a  word  from  him.  In  fact, 
we  had  a  dull,  prosy  time  for  about  half  an  hour, 


MARION   LESTER.  81 

when  music  was  proposed,  and  I  was  requested  to  go 
to  the  piano.  As  I  passed  Miss  Ingols,  she  whis 
pered,  "  Select  sacred  music,  my  dear." 

Therefore,  in  accordance  with  her  wish,  I  chose  a 
splendid  anthem.  After  preluding  a  few  notes,  I 
declared  my  inability  to  perform  it  alone,  and 
requested  the  rest  to  sing  with  me.  Whereupon 
Mr.  Delano  and  Miss  Ingols  came  and  looked  over 
my  shoulder.  He  sang  the  finest  bass  I  had  ever 
heard,  and  her  rich,  flexible  voice  took  up  the  alto. 
Arthur  found  the  place  in  another  book,  and  Cora 
looked  over  with  him,  he  singing  a  clear,  sweet  tenor, 
and  she  joining  with  me  in  the  air.  Altogether  we 
formed  a  grand  quartet,  and  continued  singing  for 
some  time,  charmed  with  our  own  melody. 

We  were  all  animated  by  the  sweet  influence  of 
the  music;  I  felt  my  reserve  and  coldness  melt 
away  before  it,  and  we  returned  to  our  seats,  quite  a 
cheerful  group. 

The  doctor  now  excused  himself,  and  retired  to  his 
study.  Mrs.  Winthrop  displayed  a  large  pile  of 
"  compositions,"  and,  with  Miss  Ingols  to  assist  her, 
sat  up  to  the  table  and  engaged  in  the  formidable 
task  of  "correction."  Then  Mr.  Delano  took  upon 
himself  the  duty  of  entertaining  the  four  maidens 
seated  silently  on  the  sofa.  There  was  no  resisting 
his  persuasive,  self-assurant  manner,  and,  before  we 
6 


82  MARION    LESTER. 

were  aware  of  it,  we  were  all  conversing  in  a  familiar 
strain  with  the  wonderful  minister. 

Several  efforts  were  made  to  draw  Arthur  into  our 
circle,  but  he  was  plunged,  irrecoverably,  into  the 
depths  of  a  profound  revery. 

Evidently  Mr.  Delano  had  been  informed  of  the 
religious  struggles  in  the  minds  of  Cora  and  Sarah, 
for  he  spoke  to  them  in  a  brotherly  and  affectionate 
manner.  He  called  them  young  Christians  ;  he  fully 
understood  their  alternate  hopes  and  fears,  and  sym 
pathized  with  them  in  their  painful  struggles.  He 
adjured  them  not  to  yield  to  the  promptings  of  the 
adversary,  but  to  be  steadfast  in  the  faith ;  and,  when 
an  opportunity  offered,  he  advised  them  to  be  bap 
tized  and  unite  themselves  with  the  church,  that  their 
feet  might  stand  on  a  more  sure  foundation,  and  also 
that  they  might  be  an  example  to  others. 

Then  he  adroitly  turned  the  conversation  to  Helen 
and  myself.  He  inquired  what  books  we  had  read, 
and  which  ones  we  liked  best.  We  talked  about  our 
various  studies ;  about  our  several  homes  and  their 
local  circumstances.  "When  he  learned  that  I  was 
interested  in  Natural  Philosophy,  he  launched  into  a 
pleasing  description  of  certain  experiments  he  had 
seen  performed,  and  gave  us  some  new  and  useful 
information  on  the  subject.  Helen  had  a  taste  for 
botany,  which  he  soon  discovered,  and  delighted  her 


MARION    LESTER.  83 

by  promising  to  show  her  a  splendid  book  of  engrav 
ings  of  a  great  many  plants  and  flowers. 

Thus  pleasantly  the  time  passed  until  nine  o'clock, 
and  we  retired,  feeling  that  we  had  enjoyed  a  very 
agreeable  evening. 

"  Mr.  Delano  is  a  very  entertaining  man,  and, 
though  he  is  a  minister  and  very  religious,  he  has 
too  much  good  taste  to  talk  about  his  piety  all  the 
time ;  and  is  too  much  a  gentleman  to  obtrude  his 
peculiar  sentiments  upon  everybody.  I  like  him  for 
that.  I  wish  all  pious  people  were  as  sensible." 
These  were  my  last  drowsy  reflections  as  the  dream- 
god  shook  his  many-colored  pinions  above  my  pillow. 


CHAPTER   VII. 

• 

SORROW.  —  RENEWED  STRUGGLES. 

"  The  heart  is  made  too  sensitive 

Life's  daily  pain  to  bear  ; 

It  beats  in  music,  but  it  beats 

Beneath  a  deep  despair." 

A  MESSENGER  comes  for  Cora.  Her  mother  is 
sick,  dying,  and  if  she  would  behold  her  face  ere 
death  has  forever  set  his  seal  upon  it,  she  must  hasten 
to  her  bedside  !  I  hold  the  dear  girl  in  my  arms, 
and  kiss  away  her  tears ;  but  they  keep  coming 
thicker  arid  faster,  and  she  will  not  be  comforted. 

Then  I  fold  her  dresses  and  pack  up  her  books, 
making  every  arrangement  for  her,  for  the  poor 
stricken  girl  is  powerless  ! 

One  more  embrace  —  one  more  pressure  of  her  hot 
lips  to  mine,  and  she  is  gone  !  I  am  alone,  for  the 
sister  of  my  love  is  absent.  I  am  in  grief,  for  now 
has  sorrow  touched  the  heart  of  him,  my  best-loved 
one! 

I  seize  a  pen,  and  fast  the  fair  page  is  covered  with 


MARION  LESTER.  85 

words.  I  cannot  stay.  Dear  Alfred  !  his  heart  is 
in  shadow  !  I  need  not  be  chary  of  my  tenderness 
now,  I  do  not  now  fear  to  pour  out  my  whole  soul  to 
him,  for  he  needs  it  all  to  soften  the  sharpness  of  this 
coming  woe. 

My  tears  are  flowing  fast,  as  I  write  fond  words 
of  encouragement,  of  hope,  and  consolation  ;  then,  all 
moist  with  my  tribute  of  sympathy,  and  glowing  with 
the  fervor  of  my  affection,  the  little  missive  is  sealed 
and  sent  on  its  healing  errand  ! 


The  three  weeks  that  followed  !  An  age  seemed 
compassed  in  them  !  Darkness,  and  fear,  and  doubt ; 
torturous  anguish  by  day,  and  blasting  visions  by 
night,  are  my  confused  remembrances  of  them  ! 

I  cannot  describe  how  the  firm  ground  of  hope  and 
safety  slipped  from  beneath  my  feet.  I  cannot  tell 
how  I  seemed  to  lose  my  identity,  and  all  my  former 
instructions  were  forgotten,  and  my  former  pleasing 
hope  and  shining  faith  were  wrested  from  my  grasp. 
I  only  know  that  I  became  mentally  isolated,  as  it 
were,  from  all  things  else,  and  seemed  drifting  alone 
on  a  dark  and  stormy  sea,  without  a  compass  to  guide, 
or  a  haven  in  view  ! 

I  thanked  God  Cora  was  not  there  to  witness  my 
struggles.  Her  quick  eye  would  have  divined  my 
mental  torture,  and  her  loving  heart  would  have 
throbbed  in  pity  for  me.  I  could  not  have  borne 


86  MARION  LESTER. 

that,  in  such  a  state  of  mind.  I  desired  no  sympa 
thy,  I  shrank  from  exposing  my  inward  strife  to 
another  mind.  Those  about  me  thought  me  cold  and 
indifferent,  when  my  soul  was  buried  in  itself,  yet 
quivering  and  burning  with  intensity  of  life. 

Mr.  Delano  was  almost  constantly  with  the  scholars. 
He  soon  obtained  a  most  unbounded  influence  over 
many  of  them.  He  could  reprove,  exhort,  and  advise, 
without  giving  offence,  as  easily  as  he  could  praise 
and  commend.  And  he  was  so  kind  and  thoughtful, 
and  could  do  and  say  things  as  no  one  else  could ! 
He  paid  the  most  delicate  attentions  to  Lizzie  "Wil 
liams.  He  often  led  her  into  the  school-room,  and 
when  a  few  were  gathered  into  Mrs.  Winthrop's 
parlor,  he  would  seat  her  in  the  easiest  chair,  and 
place  a  footstool  at  her  fee£,  as  gently  as  a  woman. 
When  she  was  more  unwell  than  usual,  he  often  sat 
with  her  in  her  own  room,  and  talked  upon  religion, 
the  theme  she  always  chose. 

And  I,  too,  was  often  with  them.  A  spell,  a  fas 
cination,  drew  me  to  them,  though  I  then  thought  it 
was  Lizzie's  repeated  invitations,  and  Mr.  Delano's 
pleasant  welcome.  They  talked  upon  religion,  and  I 
listened ;  —  't  was  so  at  first.  Mr.  Delano  never 
spoke  directly  to  me  at  such  times,  and  I  might  have 
remained  a  mere  listener  had  I  been  less  inquiring, 
less  frank.  But  I  broke  the  barrier  by  an  abrupt 


MARION   LESTEK.  87 

question.  I  fancied  I  saw  a  flaw  in  his  argument, 
which  I  pointed  out,  and  begged  his  explanation. 

There  was  a  flash  in  his  eye,  and  a  half-exultant 
smile  upon  his  lip,  as  he  turned  to  answer  me. 
"  Marion,"  he  said,  "  your  question  gives  me  great 
pleasure ;  it  shows  you  have  thought  upon  the  sub 
ject,  and  only  need  a  little  guidance  to  put  you  in 
the  right  way."  He  then  went  on  to  give  a  labored 
explanation,  with  many  metaphors  and  winding  argu 
ments.  I  had  but  a  vague  understanding  of  it  when 
he  concluded,  and  could  hardly  tell  what  the  original 
point  was  which  I  had  wished  explained ;  still,  his 
manner  was  so  confident,  I  had  not  a  doubt  but  his 
explanation  was  perfect,  and  expressed  myself  satis 
fied.  Again  and  again  were  similar  scenes  enacted, 
for  my  restless  mind  would  question,  and  Mr.  Delano 
was  always  ready  to  talk  with  me. 

I  was  young  in  years,  and  still  younger  in  expe 
rience.  I  was  unskilled  in  argument,  and  unlearned 
in  theology,  for  that  which  my  father  had  taught  me 
was  simple  love  and  good- will ;  but  this  was  so  difier- 
ent,  so  complicated,  so  awful,  so  mysterious !  I  was 
bound  to  understand  it ;  but,  alas,  I  could  not !  I 
tried  not  to  believe  it,  but  an  unbidden  power  forced 
it  upon  my  conviction. 

At  this  stage  of  my  experience,  the  spring  term 
closed.  Then  was  holden  the  great  convention.  A 
rush  of  people,  a  host  of  ministers,  preaching,  exhort- 


88  MARION   LESTER. 

ing,  and  praying,  crying,  groans  of  despair,  and 
shouts  of  glory,  all  mingle  confusedly  in  my  memories 
of  that  time.  On  the  first  day  of  the  meeting,  twelve 
of  the  scholars,  including  Sarah  French  and  Edwin 
Sanders,  the  once  lively,  religion-despising  boy,  with 
several  others,  were  baptized  and  taken  into  the 
church. 

To  my  surprise,  Cora  returned  the  day  before  the 
close  of  the  convention.  Then  I  learned  that  the  pro 
fessor  had  written,  requesting  her  to  come  at  that 
time.  The  lovely  orphan  was  paler  and  sadder  than 
ever,  and  not,  as  I  had  expected,  overwhelmed  with 
her  grief,  but  unnaturally  calm  and  still. 

That  evening  Mr.  Delano  tapped  at  our  door; 
Sarah  hastened  to  admit  him.  He  looked  upon  us 
affectionately.  "  Marion,  Cora,  Helen,"  he  said, 
"  I  am  charged  with  a  most  important  mission.  To 
morrow  a  great  number  of  people  are  to  be  baptized 
and  united  with  the  church.  Dear  girls,  I  trust  you 
will  not  let  this  opportunity  pass  unimproved ;  give 
me  your  names,  and  let  me  add  them  to  the  happy 
number  who  will  profess  themselves  the  followers  of 
Christ.  I  know  I  need  not  tell  you  of  the  vast  im 
portance  of  the  step  I  desire  you  to  take ;  it  is  essen 
tial,  —  necessary  to  your  salvation,  for,  though  it  may 
be  possible  to  be  a  Christian  and  not  of  the  church, 
it  is  a  dangerous  ground  for  one  to  take.  In  the 
bosom  of  the  church  you  will  be  measurably  guarded 


MARION   LESTER.  89 

and  defended  from  evil.  For  you  security  and  safety 
can  only  be  found  in  the  company  of  the  followers  of 
the  Lord.  I  have  striven  with  you  all,  others  have 
lent  a  helping  hand,  and,  now  that  your  minds  are 
prepared  and  your  hearts  softened,  I  pray  you  to  take 
the  sacred  vows  upon  you  —  publicly  acknowledge 
your  acceptance  of  Christ." 

Helen  began  to  weep,  and  covered  her  face  with 
her  hands. 

Cora  said,  in  a  gentle  voice,  "  I  will  join  them; 
you  may  take  my  name."  I  was  surprised  at  her 
unmoved  expression  and  quiet  manner.  Mr.  Delano 
smiled  upon  her ;  he  knew  it  would  be  so ;  he  was 
sure  she  would  not  hesitate. 

"  And  you,  Marion,  you,  of  course,  wish  to  make 
a  public  confession  and  acknowledgment  of  your 
faith?" 

"  0,  sir,"  I  cried,  trembling,  "  I  do  wish  it,  I  do 
desire  to,  and  yet  I  hesitate  !  My  parents  bow  at  a 
different  altar ;  they  would  be  grieved,  justly  angry 
with  me,  should  I  take  such  a  step  without  their 
advice  or  consent.  I  reproach  myself  for  concealing 
my  experience  from  them  ;  let  me  write  to  them,  and 
then,  perhaps,  I  may  be  permitted  to —  " 

"  Marion,  consider  !  This  is  not  a  common  ques 
tion  of  filial  duty,  but  the  issue  is  life  or  death ! 
Eternal  life  or  eternal  death !  Marion,  consider ! 
The  Holy  Spirit  has  striven  with  your  natural 


90  MARION  LESTER. 

depravity ;  you  are  now  awakened  to  a  sense  of  your 
danger  ;  you  believe  Christ  is  your  only  refuge  from 
the  doom  which  a  just  and  offended  God  has  pro 
nounced  upon  the  sinful  world ;  you  are  not  in  tbd 
dark  now.  Marion;  you  cannot  plead  ignorance ;  your 
heart  has  been  partially  illuminated  with  divine  light, 
—  and  yet  you  hesitate  !  0,  my  God,  what  may  be 
the  consequences  of  this  backwardness !  You  will 
fall  back  into  your  old  state  of  coldness  and  indiffer 
ence  ;  and,  0,  how  much  worse  were  this  last  state 
than  the  first !  Will  the  gate  of  mercy  always  be 
open  ?  Can  you  at  any  time  retrieve  your  lost  estate  ? 
Do  not  be  presumptuous,  Marion  !  " 

He  held  my  hand  with  an  iron  grasp,  and  his  eagle 
eye  pierced  my  soul  like  a  burning  arrow. 

"I  do  consider,  I  will  not  be  presumptuous,"  I 
gasped ;  Ci  but  my  dear,  good  father,  how  can  I 
wrong  him  so  !  He  will  think  me  heedless  of  all  his 
love  and  goodness.  0,  I  'm  bewildered,  I  know  not 
what  to  do !  " 

"  'T  is  a  weak  and  wicked  excuse !  The  pleasures 
of  the  world  entice  you ;  your  obdurate  heart  is  yet 
untouched  by  the  refiner's  fire." 

"  Not  so,  dear  sir;  Heaven  be  my  witness  that  it  is 
only  the  respect  which  I  owe  to  my  parents,  only  my 
fear  of  their  grief  and  displeasure,  which  bids  me 
shrink  from  this  duty." 

"  Mark  your  own  words  — '  which  bids  me  shrink 


MARION  LESTER.  91 

from  this  duty ! '  Then  you  feel  it  to  be  a  duty,  —  a 
duty  which  involves  an  everlasting  interest,  —  and  still 
you  shrink  from  it!  Marion,  this  is  weak,  this  is 
cowardly !  Do  you  deem  the  displeasure  of  your 
parents  of  more  moment  than  the  displeasure  of  your 
God?  There  is  a  mighty  responsibility  devolving 
upon  you  now ;  but  accept  the  proffered  mercy  through 
Christ,  become  his  professed  and  devoted  follower, 
and  how  possible,  how  probable  it  is,  that  you  may 
be  the  instrument,  in  the  hands  of  God,  of  their 
conversion  —  their  salvation  !  How  happy  that 
would  be,  how  glorious  !  And  yet  you  hesitate,  you 
shrink  from  publicly  devoting  yourself  to  Christ. 
Marion,  you  love  your  father  and  mother ;  you  say 
they  are  good ;  I  implore  you,  for  their  sakes  as  well 
as  for  your  own,  not  to  neglect  this  blessed  opportu 
nity.  Now  is  the  time  to  accept  Jesus,  and  then  a 
blessed  calm  will  steal  over  your  soul.  But  refuse 
him  now,  and  it  may  be  too  late,  forever  too  late !  " 

His  language  filled  me  with  terror.  0,  was  the 
immortal  destiny  of  three  human  souls  dependent 
upon  the  decision  of  one  weak,  simple  maiden  !  So 
he  argued, —  so  I  feared.  I  wrung  my  hands,  weep 
ing  wildly. 

He  looked  upon  me  with  a  softened  expression, 
and  said,  compassionately,  "  Poor  child,  you  are  be 
wildered  ;  you  cannot  judge  for  yourself;  trust  in  me ; 
let  me  decide  for  you.  Shall  I  not  report  your  name 


92  MARION  LESTER. 

with  the  others,  vrho  are  to  be  baptized  to 
morrow?" 

Gasping  and  sobbing,  I  murmured,  "  I  can't  prom 
ise  you  now,  but  to-morrow  morning  I  will  give 
you  my  answer.  0,  please,  do  leave  me  alone,  for. 
indeed,  I  can't  bear  any  more  !  " 

I  managed  to  restrain  myself  until  he  left  the 
room,  with  a  sorrowful,  disappointed  expression  upon 
his  handsome  face.  Then  I  threw  myself  upon  the 
bed,  and  rolled  over  and  over,  yielding,  in  passionate 
cries  and  tears,  to  the  tempest  which  raged  through 
my  whole  being.  Heaven  and  hell,  eternity  itself, 
seemed  resting  on  my  naked  soul.  0,  what  a  respon 
sibility  !  I,  a  frail,  ignorant  child,  must  decide  the 
awful  question.  Great  God,  why  didst  thou  delegate 
to  thy  creatures  such  dreadful  power  ?  Better  be  a 
beast  —  a  soulless  rock  —  than  to  run  such  a  fearful 
risk! 

The  tempest  spent  itself.  I  sat  up,  and  looked 
around  upon  my  companions. 

Cora  sat  motionless,  with  her  small  hands  folded 
in  her  lap.  Like  a  beautiful  statue  she  looked,  with 
her  patient,  mournful  face.  Her  spirit  was  indrawn, 
for  she  appeared  unconscious  of  anything  about  her. 
Helen's  face  was  still  hidden  in  her  hands,  and 
Sarah  stood  by  my  side,  with  a  frightened  look. 
"  You  are  better,"  she  said,  with  a  sigh  of  relief. 
"  Dear  Marion,  dear  Helen,  only  give  yourselves  up 


MARION  LESTER.  93 

to  Christ,  and  you  will  be  happy.  Do,  both  of  you, 
consent  to  Mr.  Delano's  wishes." 

"Helen,"  I  cried,  sharply,  "will  you  be  baptized? 
will  you  join  the  church?  " 

She  lifted  up  her  tear-wet  face,  "  No,  Marion,  I 
cannot !  0,  perhaps  I  am  tampering  with  my  last 
hope  of  heaven,  but  I  cannot  give  up  all  the  pleas 
ures  of  this  life  !  I  am  only  just  sixteen,  and  the 
world  is  so  bright  and  beautiful  to  me !  I  love  to 
dance  and  play  ;  I  must  laugh  when  my  heart  is  full 
of  glee,  —  no,  I  could  not  always  be  so  grave  and 
melancholy  as  religious  people  are.  But  my  father 
and  mother  wish  to  have  me  baptized ;  they  are 
frightened  because  I  don't  get  religion  ;  but  I  can't 
help  it.  I'm  so  young,  now,  —  there's  plenty  of 
time,  — by-and-by  I  will  repent  and  get  religion." 

Sarah  looked  perplexed,  then  brightened  at  a  new 
thought ;  "I  heard  Mrs.  Winthrop  say  she  was  going 
round  to  talk  with  all  the  scholars  to-night ;  she  will 
be  here  soon,  and  perhaps  she  can  influence  you." 

"  0,  dear ! "  I  cried,  bounding  from  the  bed,  "Mrs. 
Winthrop  is  my  aversion  !  I  will  not  stay  here  a 
minute  longer.  I  will  go  to  Miss  Ingols ;  she  is  the 
only  one  I  am  not  afraid  of." 

Suiting  the  action  to  the  word,  I  hastened  through 
the  hall  to  Miss  Ingols'  room.  My  rap  was  answered 
by  a  gentle  "  Come  in."  She  was  seated  in  the 
middle  of  the  room,  unoccupied,  and  in  a  deeply 


94  MARION  LESTER. 

thoughtful  attitude.  I  drew  a  footstool  to  her  side, 
and  sat  upon  it,  leaning  my  head  on  her  lap.  Her 
small  soft  hand  toyed  with  the  stray  locks  on  my 
temples.  Then  all  my  fear  and  anguish  tided  back 
upon  my  heart,  and  I  wept  and  sobbed  almost  as 
wildly  as  before.  She  let  me  cry  without  saying  a 
word  until  I  became  calm :  then  she  spoke  in  her 
usual  even  tones. 

"I  understand  the  cause  of  your  emotion.  Tour 
mind  has  arrived  at  a  crisis ;  this  is  the  decisive 
hour  of  your  life.  I  believe  your  heart,  your  judg 
ment,  will  lead  you  aright." 

I  looked  up  into  her  face.  "  Then  you  wish  me  to 
be  baptized,  and  to  join  the  church  ?  " 

"  Certainly,  my  dear  ;  I  wish  every  one  would  be 
baptized,  and  feel  especially  desirous  for  you,  whom 
I  both  love  and  esteem." 

"  Do  you  think  baptism  a  saving  ordinance?  " 

"  Yes  —  and  yet  —  perhaps  not  always  ;  at  least, 
it  is  very  important.  Those  who  have  received  bap 
tism  have  stronger  motives  for  living  a  Christian  life, 
and,  believe  me,  the  church  is  a  great  safeguard." 

"  But  my  parents  think  differently ;  at  least,  they 
are  opposed  to  this  church ;  they  say  they  have 
wider  and  more  liberal  views  of  God  and  his  govern 
ment." 

"  In  any  other  instance  I  should  advise  you  to 
honor  the  opinion  of  your  parents ;  but,  Marion,  this 


MARION   LESTER.  95 

has  to  do  with  your  own  soul.  Let  no  earthly  consid 
eration  come  before  its  eternal  interest.  This  talk 
about  wider  and  more  liberal  conceptions  of  God's 
government  is  very  dangerous.  It  leads  men  to 
scepticism,  and  makes  mockers  of  religion." 

"  Miss  Ingols,  I  want  to  ask  a  question.  I  believe 
you  are  truly  pious,  but  you  are  always  grave  and 
sad.  Is  it  religion  which  makes  you  so  ?  Must  I,  too, 
become  melancholy,  never  smiling,  never  expressing 
any  emotions?" 

"  God  forbid  that  the  possession  of  religion  should 
affect  you  as  it  has  me  !  No,  my  dear,  you  may  be 
cheerful,  you  can  be  happy,  though  all  worldly 
pleasures  and  amusements  are  forbidden." 

"  But,  pardon  me,  Miss  Ingols,  why  does  not  your 
religion  give  you  joy  ?  Mrs.  Winthrop,  and  Lizzie 
Williams,  and  all  other  professors  that  I  know,  are 
continually  telling  how  happy  their  religion  makes 
them." 

"0,  because  they  believe  it,  while  I  feel  it.  It 
sinks  into  my  heart,  —  deep  into  my  heart,  —  the 
fearful  depravity  of  man,  and  his  awful  responsibility. 
I  see,  around  me,  hundreds  hurrying  to  destruction, 
and  I  am  powerless  to  save  them.  0,  that  sight 
blasts  my  vision !  "  She  covered  her  pallid  face 
with  her  trembling  hands.  I  was  deeply  affected  at 
this  burst  of  feeling  from  her  who  ever  maintained 
such  a  nun-like  repose  of  manner. 


96  MARION   LESTER. 

"  You  wonder  at  my  emotion.  0,  Marion,  my 
outward  calm  but  hides  the  volcanic  fires  within !  " 
She  pressed  her  hand  passionately  upon  her  heart. 
"  Here  is  a  living  crater,  and  the  burning  lava  never 
ceases  to  fall  upon  my  heart.  Not  often  is  the  out 
ward  crust  of  coldness  broken,  but  my  love  and  anxi 
ety  for  you  have  overthrown  my  self-control.  Per 
haps  my  sad  experience  may  benefit  you ;  perhaps  it 
may  decide  you  at  this  great  crisis.  In  confidence 
will  I  give  you  the  secret  which  has  blighted  my 
life." 

"  And  in  confidence  will  I  receive  it." 

She  drew  me  to  her,  pressed  her  lips  upon  my 
forehead,  and,  with  averted  face,  told  her  sad  tale. 

"I  was  a  thoughtless,  happy  maiden, —  one  of  the 
happiest  in  all  the  world.  I  was  as  sensitive  and 
confiding  as  your  friend  Cora,  —  as  merry  and  joyous 
as  Helen.  At  eighteen,  a  beautiful  dream  of  love  was 
unfolded  to  my  heart,  and  then  I  was  ten  times  hap 
pier  than  before.  My  Roland  was  so  handsome,  so 
manly,  so  brave  !  He  was  the  very  soul  of  generos 
ity,  and  scorned  a  mean  action.  0,  I  loved  him  with 
my  whole  heart!  He  was  my  father's  clerk,  and 
resided  in  our  family.  Day  by  day  he  seemed  nearer 
and  dearer,  and  his  love  for  me  was  manifested  in  his 
every  word  and  look. 

"  There  was  a  revival  in  our  village.  The  people 
were  awakened  from  their  indifference,  and  many 


MARION  LESTER.  97 

found  comfort  in  Jesus.  I  had  scarcely  had  a  serious 
thought  in  all  my  life,  but  I  was  deeply  impressed 
now,  and  became  one  of  the  first  converts.  My  faith 
has  never  wavered  since  then.  God  knows  I  have 
never  regretted  that  hour  —  but  —  0,  others  — " 

She  caught  her  breath  with  a  gasping  sob,  and  was 
silent.  I  felt  her  arm  about  me  tremble  violently. 
"  Dear  Miss  Ingols,  if  it  gives  you  such  pain,  do  not 
tell  me." 

"  No,  no,"  she  said  quickly.  "  It  cannot  give  me 
more  pain  than  I  now  feel.  I  need  sympathy ;  my 
soul  longs  to  pour  out  a  portion  of  its  woe  into  anoth 
er's  breast ;  and,  besides,  Marion,  you  need  the  les 
son.  Well,  Roland  was  not  religious ;  he  did  n't  like 
the  revival.  He  was  a  great  mimic,  and  he  imitated 
to  perfection  all  the  oddities  and  peculiarities  of  the 
ministers.  When  I  became  converted  he  was  more 
tender  of  my  feelings,  but  I  could  see  that  he  felt  just 
as  before.  I  felt  deeply  anxious  for  his  salvation, 
and  one  day  I  tried  to  reason  with  him.  But  he 
laughed  at  me,  and  was  so  funny  and  merry  that  I 
laughed  too.  He  sprang  upon  his  horse,  which  stood 
saddled  at  the  door,  and,  while  pony  was  taking  his 
preliminary  steps,  said,  —  the  words  are  burned  into 
my  memory,  —  '  I  tell  you,  Harriet,  religion  is  all 
a  farce.  Let  those  who  like  it  play  it ;  I  have  no 
faith  in  it ; '  and  with  a  light  laugh  he  rode  away. 

"  Sick  at  heart,  I  turned  to  enter  the  house. 
7 


98  MARION  LESTER. 

Right  by  my  side  stood  our  minister ;  he  had  heard 
Roland's  last  "words.  He  looked  at  me  sharply,  and 
said,  '  Girl,  your  heart  is  entangled  with  that  young 
man's  ;  you  must  draw  him  up  to  your  standard,  or 
he  will  draw  you  down  with  him  to  perdition  ! ' 

"  I  burst  into  tears,  and  hid  myself  in  my  chamber. 
There  I  made  a  vow  that  when  he  returned,  I  would 
talk  with  him,  and  never  leave  him  until  I  had 
touched  his  heart.  But,  alas  !  alas !  I  never  saw 
him  in  life  again !  In  less  than  half  an  hour  his 
bleeding,  mangled  corpse  was  brought  into  the  house. 
And,  0,  worse  than  the  bitterness  of  death,  he  was 
launched  into  eternity !  An  awful  gulf  stretched 
'twixt  him  and  me !  His  last  thoughtless  words 
danced,  like  so  many  demons,  before  my  reeling 
senses !  —  0,  heavens !  —  Roland !  Roland !  " 

She  leaned  heavily  upon  me,  and  from  her  labor 
ing  bosom  came  up  such  agonized  moans  as  curdled 
my  blood  with  horror. 

After  a  long  pause,  she  spoke  again.  "  The  min 
isters  all  said  there  was  '  no  hope,  —  no  hope  for 
such  as  he ;  his  portion  was  with  the  scoffers  of 
God.'  I  believed  it  then,  —  I  believe  it  now.  For 
weeks  I  was  raving.  0,  that  my  reason  had  never 
been  restored  !  —  that  I  might  forget !  But  I  can 
not  forget !  Ever  in  my  ears  is  sounding  '  No  hope  ! ' 
and  ever  is  my  heart  calling  for  Roland !  I  have 
lived  within  myself,  wearing  an  outward  garb  of  cold- 


MARION  LESTER.  99 

ness.  And  what  are  all  the  events  of  this  life  to  me, 
now  ?  I  am  dead  to  all  the  passions  and  emotions 
common  to  us  all,  for  this  one  living,  deathless  woe 
fills  my  being." 

I  almost  shrieked  in  painful  sympathy. 

"Marion,"  she  said  again,  in  a  broken  voice,  "  my 
lesson  is  this :  seek  your  own  salvation ;  then  labor 
for  your  friends,  for  all  you  love,  and  bring  them 
to  the  feet  of  Jesus.  Do  this,  if  you  wish  for  a 
moment's  peace,  here  or  hereafter.  If  I  had  kept 
Roland  by  my  side,  if  I  had  pleaded  a  little  more 
earnestly  with  him,  he  might  have  been  saved  !  But 
now,  unavailing,  undying  regret  is  only  mine  !  " 

She  leaned  back  in  her  chair,  weak  and  powerless 
with  exhaustion.  At  that  moment,  as  though  my 
high-wrought  feelings  must  be  strained  to  the  great 
est  tension.  Lizzie  Williams  entered  from  her  bed 
chamber.  Her  emaciated  form  was  wrapped  in  a 
long  night-robe ;  her  thick,  black  hair  hung  loosely 
upon  her  shoulders,  and  the  lamp  in  her  hand  sent  a 
deathly  glare  upon  her  wan  face.  She  came  directly 
to  me,  and  twined  her  arm  about  my  neck.  "  Dear 
May,"  she  said  in  the  hollow  tones  of  the  consump 
tive,  "dear  May,  I  know  why  you  are  here.  The 
adversary  is  striving  for  a  final  victory  over  you. 
Eise  up  and  be  strong ;  give  your  heart  to  Jesus,  and 
all  will  be  well  with  you.  0,  Marion,  I  have  only 
a  little  while  to  stay  on  earth,  and  my  last  request, 


100  MARION   LESTER. 

my  dying  wish,  is  that  you  should  receive  the  bap 
tism  to-morrow.  Promise  me  you  will,  I  implore." 

It  was  as  though  a  voice  had  called  upon  me  from 
the  grave.  The  fire  in  my  veins  seemed  suddenly 
turned  to  ice. 

"  Look  up,  dear  friend,  and  say  that  you  will !  " 

My  soul  gave  a  great  cry.  0,  I  would  do  any 
thing,  everything,  all  things  required  of  me  ! 

"  Yes,  yes,  yes,  Lizzie  I  give  you  my  word !  " 


CHAPTER  VIII. 

SCHOOL  DUTIES  AGAIN.  —  ALFRED'S  OPINION. 

CORA  and  I  were  baptized,  and  formally  received 
into  the  church.  Again  did  excitement  burn  on 
Cora's  cheek,  and  her  apathy  was  changed  to  wild 
enthusiasm.  But  I  was  like  one  walking  in  a  trance. 
The  fearful  agitation  of  yesterday  now  reacted  power 
fully  :  a  numbness  settled  down  upon  my  heart,  and 
pervaded  my  soul.  Like  an  automaton,  I  passively 
spoke  and  acted  in  obedience  to  every  direction  given 
me. 

I  said  I  was  very  happy ;  I  imagined  I  was  so,  but 
it  was  a  very  questionable  sort  of  happiness,  which 
admitted  both  anxiety  and  fear.  I  was  safe  now,  of 
course,  but  my  friends  were  in  danger!  A  great, 
proud  resolve  grew  up  in  my  heart  —  I  would  con 
vert  them  !  Yes,  to  me  was  delegated  the  priceless 
privilege  of  leading  those  dear  ones  to  the  true  altar. 
I  dreamed  not  of  presumption,  for  were  not  the  fool 
ish  things  of  this  world  to  confound  the  wise  ? 

Poor   Lizzie  Williams  grew  rapidly  worse.     No 


102  MARION  LESTEE. 

longer  could  her  most  blinded  friends  doubt  that 
death  had  woven  his  meshes  round  the  citadel  of  her 
life.  Her  guardian  came  to  take  her  away;  he  looked 
inexpressibly  shocked  when  he  beheld  the  fearful 
ravages  made  by  disease  upon  the  once  blooming  girl, 
and  gently  chided  her  for  concealing  her  real  state 
from  him. 

Her  parting  with  her  schoolmates  was  painful  in 
the  extreme.  Dissolved  in  tears,  she  flung  her  arms 
about  me.  "  0,  Marion,"  she  cried,  "  I  shall  never 
see  you  again !  " 

"  In  heaven,"  I  whispered,  "  we  shall  meet  again  ! 
You  are  not  afraid  of  death,  Lizzie?" 

"  No,  not  for  myself,  but  there  are  others.  I  have 
a  dear,  good  brother ;  but,  alas,  he  is  unconverted ! 
and  I  have  remained  here  unconcernedly,  when  every 
power  of  my  being  should  have  been  exerted  in  his 
behalf.  0,  bitterly  do  I  regret  this  error,  for  now 
he  may  never  find  the  way  to  Jesus !  Marion,  do 
you  take  a  lesson  from  my  painful  contrition  for  this 
neglect.  You  have  dear  parents  and  a  lover.  0, 
may  these  friends,  dearer  to  you  than  all  others,  be 
saved  through  your  instrumentality !  Promise  me, 
Marion,  that  you  will  never  cease  to  importune  them 
until  they  accept  the  proffered  salvation.  So,  when 
death  shall  take  you  by  the  hand,  and  bid  you  turn 
your  eyes  away  from  earth,  may  you  not  feel  this 
regret  which  stinga  me  now  ! " 


MARION  LESTER.  103 

She  turned  from  me  to  say  farewell  to  her  mates 
clustering  round  her,  and  then,  almost  fainting  from 
weakness,  she  was  borne  to  the  carriage.  I  never  saw 
her  again.  In  a  few  days  came  the  tidings  that  the 
silver  cord  was  loosed  —  Lizzie  was  at  rest !  I 
believed  that  her  spirit  was  welcomed  to  heaven,  and 
this  thought  mingled  sweet  consolation  with  my  fall 
ing  tears. 

One  day  Cora  and  I  were  told  that  a  friend  had 
called  to  see  us.  We  were  both  sure  it  was  Alfred ; 
and,  eager  to  welcome  him,  we  hastened  to  the  recep 
tion-room.  He  arose  quickly  as  we  entered,  and, 
opening  his  arms,  drew  us  both  to  his  heart.  I  met 
him  with  a  joyful  face  ;  but  when  Cora  sobbed  upon 
his  breast,  I  recollected  the  death-stroke  which  had 
robbed  him  of  a  mother  since  we  had  last  parted. 
There  was  a  mournful  shadow  on  his  face,  but  it 
passed  quickly,  and  a  look  of  hope  and  trust  came 
instead.  He  spoke  to  her  such  sweet  and  cheerful 
words  that  she  was  soon  calm,  and  -wiped  away  her 
tears. 

Then  we  sat  upon  the  sofa,  he  encircling  us  both 
with  his  arms.  His  dear  presence  seemed  to  animate 
us  both  with  unwonted  joy.  Cora  was  more  like  her 
self  than  I  had  seen  her  for  many  a  day,  and  April 
smiles  and  tears  sparkled  over  her  face.  Alfred 
looked  from  her  to  me  with  love-lit  eyes.  "  Here  is 
my  whole  world ! "  he  cried, — "the  whole  world  which 


104  MARION  LESTER. 

my  heart  embraces ;  and  yet  I  must  not  forget  the 
struggling  world  without ;  for  ye,  dearest  ones,  will  I 
pray  first,  then  for  my  brother  man." 

I  forgot  everything  in  my  joy  at  his  presence,  and 
for  a  time  our  communion  was  like  that  of  angels. 
But  a  word  broke  the  delightful  spell. 

"  I  hear  there  has  been  a  revival  in  your  school. 
Have  your  hearts  been  shaken,  and  your  nerves  un 
strung,  by  the  commotion?  " 

There  was  a  constrained  pause. 

At  length  Cora  said,  in  a  low  voice,  "  Dear  brother, 
what  should  you  say  had  it  shaken  the  fetters  from 
our  souls,  and  made  us  free ;  and  the  scales  from  our 
eyes,  and  given  us  sight?  " 

He  turned  his  half-bewildered,  questioning  gaze 
from  her  to  me.  "Yes,  Alfred,"  I  said,  "this  re- 
yival  has  brought  grace  to  our  souls.  We  both  of 
us  feel  that  we  have  '  new  hearts,'  born  of  the  Holy 
Ghost." 

"  Marion,  Cora,  do  you  mean  that  you  have  been 
turned  by  fanatical  excitement  ?  Am  I  to  understand 
that  you  have  bartered  away  the  faith  of  your  fathers, 
for  a  heartless,  selfish  creed? " 

Wounded  by  his  words,  I  drew  back  coldly. 
"Your  harsh  adjectives  are  very  unnecessary.  You 
are  to  understand  that  Cora  and  I  have  renounced  the 
wicked  pleasures  of  the  world,  and  joined  the  church 
to  which  this  school  is  connected." 


MARION   LESTER.  105 

The  muscles  of  his  face  contracted,  as  though  his 
heart  had  received  a  sudden  thrust.  Putting  us  both 
from  him  quickly,  he  walked  back  and  forth,  as  was 
his  custom  when  laboring  under  any  excitement. 

I  was  so  unprepared  for  such  a  show  of  feeling,  that 
I  became  confused  and  silent. 

"  What  were  you  thinking  of  ?  — without  informing 
me,  or  even  consulting  your  parents  !  What  infatua 
tion  !  0,  I  was  not  prepared  for  this !  I  had  more 
confidence  in  your  strength  of  mind.  I  thought  that 
the  religion  of  love  and  beauty  was  well  grounded  in 
your  hearts.  Girls,  girls  !  I  fear  you  have  made  ship 
wreck  of  your  happiness  !  " 

'•'Alfred,  dear  brother!  don't  be  angry  with  us ! 
I  know,  if  you  consider  upon  it,  you  will  not  blame  us, 
and  perhaps,  in  time,  you  will  join  us ;  then  we  shall 
be  so  happy  !  " 

' '  Happy !  "  He  stopped  short.  "  If  I  should  ask 
you,  you  would  say  you  were  never  so  happy  before^ 
when  your  altered  looks  deny  it.  0,  blind  boy  that 
I  have  been !  I  thought,  Cora,  that  the  extremes  of 
your  passionate  emotion  and  despairing  calmness 
were  the  effects  of  natural  grief;  now  I  see  that  the 
worm  of  doubt  had  sapped  the  life  of  your  heart." 

His  lip  quivered,  and  tears  stood  out  upon  his 
lashes. 

I  laid  my  hand  upon  his  arm.  "  Dear  Alfred,  I 
am  sorry  you  have  not  known  this  before ;  we  have 


106  MARION   LESTER. 

done  wrong  in  excluding  our  best  friends  from  our 
confidence.  But  I  do  not  regret  —  I  pray  I  may 
never  regret  —  the  events  which  have  shown  me  the 
danger  threatening  my  everlasting  peace.  Alfred, 
our  faiths  differ ;  shall  that  sever  our  affection?  " 

His  affectionate  nature  could  not  resist  the  appeal. 
"No,  dearest  May,  Heaven  forbid!  Nothing  shall 
divide  our  hearts !  " 

He  took  me  by  the  hand,  and  we  sat  upon  the  sofa 
again,  as  before.  "  I  do  not,  I  will  not,  blame  you, 
dear  girls.  Now  I  think  of  it  calmly,  I  cannot 
wonder  at  it.  Two  such  loving  and  confiding  hearts 
—  it  is  not  strange  that  your  reason  was  overpowered. 
And  so  you  have  been  borne  away  in  the  fierce  cur 
rent  of  fanaticism,  and  stranded  your  faith  on  the 
dark  shore  of  partialism !  " 

"  Alfred,  you  talk  very  strangely  !  " 

"Do  I,  dear  sister?  I  feel  all  that  I  say,  and 
more.  I  am  older  than  you,  and  understand,  better 
than  you,  the  wiles  and  persuasions  of  the  so-called 
ambassadors  of -Christ.  In  college  I  am  in  the  midst 
of  a  fierce  revival,  yet  I  hold  fast  to  my  beautiful 
faith.  I  am  not  ashamed  of  it,  and  I  would  not  deny 
it  for  honor  or  friends !  I  am  an  especial  object  of 
attack ;  scoffs,  and  jeers,  and  cruel  taunts,  are  levelled 
at  me ;  I  am  branded  as  a  heretic,  because,  forsooth, 
I  say  that  God  is  a  loving  Father,  and  unchangeable, 
and  that  Christ  died  to  save  all.  But  I  am  the 


MARION    LESTER.  107 

stronger  for  opposition !  Then  I  am  flattered  ;  my 
love  of  approbation  is  appealed  to ;  my  high  place  in 
my  class,  my  attainments,  are  all  arrayed  insinuatingly 
before  me ;  but  I  scorn  to  be  driven  from  my  strong 
hold  by  so  weak  an  instrument !  Never,  God  help 
ing  me,  will  I  deny  my  honest  convictions ;  and  may 
I  not  be  left  to  a  faith  so  dishonoring  to  Him  !  " 

I  tried  to  bring  my  agitated  mind  to  a  point,  that 
I  might  speak  to  him  with  effect.  I  wished  to  warn 
him  against  the  fatal  error  under  which  he  labored. 
I  would  have  assumed  the  office  of  mentor,  and  talked 
to  him  as  others  had  talked  to  me.  But  I  could  not 
form  a  single  reproving  sentence.  There  was  such  a 
manly  earnestness  in  his  manner,  such  decision  in  his 
tone,  that  I  shrank  from  confronting  his  position.  So 
I  remained  silent,  thinking  that,  when  time  had  soft 
ened  his  prejudices,  I  would  attempt  to  win  him  over. 
Love  might  prevail  where  opposition  and  flattery  had 
failed. 

There  was  an  awkward  silence,  during  which 
Alfred  looked  down  with  a  shaded  brow.  Suddenly 
he  raised  his  head,  his  old,  familiar  smile  breaking 
like  light  over  his  countenance. 

{£  I  thank  God  this  step  is  not  irrevocable  !  When 
you  are  removed  from  this  chilling  atmosphere,  you 
will  soon  turn  to  the  true  altar  of  love  and  hope." 

"  Do  not  flatter  yourself  that  I  shall  renounce  my 
faith  so  easily.  I  was  not  quickly  won,  nor  shall  I 


108  MARION  LESTER. 

be  quickly  turned  from  my  present  ground  of 
hope." 

"  Well,  Marion,  we  will  not  quarrel  about  it  now, 
for  I  see  that  superstition  clouds  your  mind.  I  hope, 
I  pray,  it  may  all  be  dissipated  in  time.  I  desire  one 
thing  of  you,  May;  you  must  immediately  inform 
your  father  of  the  change  in  your  belief." 

I  readily  promised,  for  conscience  admonished  me 
to  do  so. 

Now  he  rose  to  go,  and  seemed  for  the  first  time  to 
observe  Cora's  paleness  and  languor.  "Why,  Cora! " 
he  exclaimed,  "  how  thin  and  pale  you  have  grown  ! 
and  you  have  a  cough, —  that  is  bad." 

It  was  nothing  but  a  cold,  Cora  said,  not  worth 
minding. 

But  Alfred  looked  troubled.  "  It  is  worth  mind 
ing,  I  fear.  You  must  have  some  balsam.  I  will 
buy  a  bottle  and  send  you,  and  Marion  must  see  that 
you  take  it." 

I  promised,  if  Cora  was  inclined  to  be  neglectful,  I 
would  exert  my  authority ;  she  should  certainly  take 
the  balsam. 

Cora  smiled,  saying  she  should  be  a  very  unresist 
ing  victim  to  my  authority,  for  she  did  not  object  to 
the  balsam.  Then  Alfred  embraced  us  both  fondly, 
and  bade  us  adieu  with  a  cheerfulness  which  my 
instincts  told  me  was  forced  and  unnatural. 

I  wrote  to  my  father,   and  the  answer  which  I 


MARION    LESTER.  109 

received  brought  tears  of  mingled  contrition  and  grief. 
Thus  it  ran : 

"  My  only,  my  precious  child,  what  words  can  I 
use  to  tell  you  of  the  wound  inflicted  by  your  letter ! 
The  contents  came  like  a  sharp  and  stinging  rebuke 
to  my  soul.  0,  bitterly  do  I  reproach  myself  for 
placing  you  within  the  pale  of  such  an  improper  in 
fluence  !  and  your  mother  is  weeping,  and  deploring 
her  own  want  of  forethought  and  discretion. 

"  My  Marion,  do  you  forget  the  hours  of  religious 
enjoyment  which  we  have  passed  together,  — our  read 
ings,  our  communings  with  a  loving  Father,  through 
nature?  Have  I  not  taught  you  that  mercy  and 
justice  are  equally  blended  in  the  divine  character, 
and  that  His  spirit  is  love  ?  And  now  you  reject  all 
those  holy  lessons,  and,  instead  of  the  gospel,  which 
is  '  good  news,'  you  take  to  your  heart  a  dark  and 
cruel  creed !  Mercy  is  lost  in  stern  justice,  and  the 
Father  forgotten  in  the  offended  God.  Your  only  hope 
is  in  Jesus ;  and  even  he,  who  died  for  all,  will  be 
defrauded  of  his  own,  through  the  wiles  of  the  devil. 
Are  you  better,  are  you  happier,  for  such  a  faith  ? 
Does  the  word  of  God  appear  more  luminous  to  your 
understanding?  or,  rather,  are  you  not  plunged  in 
gloom,  and  does  not  the  Bible  seem  a  tangled  web  of 
mystery  ? 

"0,  Marion,  if  I  had  thought  it  would  ever  have 
been  thus  with  you ;  were  you  dead  I  could  not  have 


110  MARION    LESTER. 

mourned  so  bitterly  !  But  the  Lord  will  answer  my 
ceaseless  prayer ;  you  will  again  rejoice  in  his  un 
clouded  love  !  I  do  not  reproach  you,  my  child ;  I 
will  never  hlame  you  for  what  has  passed;  the  sin 
lies  at  my  own  door,  and  now  I  feel  that  the  punish 
ment  is  more  than  I  can  bear. 

"  I  will  come  for  you  immediately,  and  in  the  pure 
atmosphere  of  home  may  you  be  restored  to  your 
right  mind.  "  Your  ever  fond  Father." 

I  showed  this  letter  to  my  confidant,  Miss  Ingols, 
who  was  filled  with  apprehension.  If  my  father  re 
moved  me  from  school  so  soon,  I  might  be  led  astray ; 
I  might  even  fall  from  grace. 

Trembling  at  the  thought  of  so  dire  an  event,  I 
asked  her  advice.  She  placidly  studied  the  letter. 
"  I  think  your  father  is  a  good  man,  and  feel  that  his 
expressions  of  sorrow  are  sincere ;  yet  he  is  cherishing 
a  fatal  error.  Marion,  it  must  be  your  task  to  dis 
abuse  his  mind  of  the  darkness  which  he  fancies  hangs 
over  yours." 

"  I  hope  I  may  be  allowed  to  do  so ;  yet  it  must  be 
done  more  by  actions  than  words ;  for  he  is  my  father, 
and  I  respect  as  well  as  love  him." 

"  That  makes  me  think  you  had  a  visit  from  your 
friend,  Alfred  Eaton,  the  other  day.  Did  you  tell 
him  how  you  and  Cora  had  found  a  new  hope? " 

"Yes." 


MARION   LESTER.  Ill 

"What  did  he  say?" 

"  At  first  he  was  half  angry,  and  then  he  talked 
much  in  the  same  strain  that  father  does  in  his  letter." 

"And  you  were  true  to  yourself,  Marion?  You 
told  him  of  the  fallacy  of  his  hopes,  and  of  the  supe 
riority  of  the  religion  you  profess?  You  warned 
him  with  earnest  and  loving  words  ?  " 

I  turned  my  crimsoning  face  away,  and  remained 
silent. 

"  Marion,  did  you  have  any  influence  with  him,  or 
was  he  very  obstinate  ?  " 

"  I  was  very  wrong,  Miss  Ingols,  but,  indeed,  I 
could  not  bring  my  heart  to  talk  to  him  as  I  ought. 
And  his  mother  has  just  died ;  I  was  so  full  of  pity 
and  sympathy  I  could  scarcely  say  anything." 

She  placed  her  hand  upon  my  shoulder,  and  brought 
my  face  round  close  to  hers.  Her  voice  was  husky, 
as  she  said,  ' '  My  dear  Marion,  what  if  you  should 
never  see  him  again  ?  What  if  he  should  die  unrepent 
ant,  and  you  had  never  spoken  a  word  which  should 
give  birth  to  even  a  thought  of  the  true  salvation  ? 
Did  Lizzie  Williams'  last  words  fall  unheeded  on 
your  ears  ?  Has  my  own  agonizing  experience  no 
influence  on  your  mind?  " 

I  hid  my  face  in  her  bosom  and  burst  into  tears. 
"  I  am  not  blaming  you,  dear  girl ;  I  only  wish  to 
impress  a  true  sense  of  your  duty  on  your  mind. 
You  will  grow  stronger  in  the  Lord,  and  then  you 


112  MARION   LESTER. 

will  not  fear  to  urge  salvation  upon  any  whom  you 
love.  You  are  but  a  young  Christian,  just  received 
into  the  kingdom,  and  I  would  guard  you  from  dan 
ger.  A  few  months  longer  in  this  place  would  be 
of  incalculable  benefit  to  you.  Could  you  only  stay 
through  the  fall  term,  as  you  have  intended,  I  would 
let  you  go  without  a  word,  feeling  that  you  were 
strong  in  the  faith.  You  must  beg  your  father  to  let 
you  stay.  You  have  united  yourself  with  this  church ; 
tell  him  that  his  taking  you  away  from  here  would 
not  undo  that  act.  Then  urge  upon  him  the  neces 
sity  of  remaining  to  complete  the  course  of  study 
you  have  commenced.  I  think  he  will  yield  to  your 
persuasions." 

I  wrote  as  she  directed,  and,  according  to  her  pre 
diction,  my  too  indulgent  father  was  overcome  by  my 
arguments  and  entreaties.  He  gave  a  reluctant  con 
sent  for  me  to  continue  there  through  the  fall  term ; 
and,  of  course,  Cora  was  to  remain  with  me. 


CHAPTER    IX. 

MY  GROWTH  IN  GRACE,  SO  CALLED. —  ARTHUR  WILLIS. 

THUS  were  the  chains  riveted  about  my  soul. 
Thus  was  a  chilling  theology  indoctrinated  more  fully 
into  my  mind,  which  sent  its  grim  shadows  down  to 
the  innermost  depths  of  my  heart. 

I  strove  to  live  consistently  with  my  professions. 
All  my  girlish  grace  and  lightness  of  manner  was 
merged  into  an  austere  gravity.  I  walked  and  talked, 
and  worked  and  studied,  with  methodical  exactness. 
I  attended  every  religious  meeting,  and  regarded 
every  religious  observance  with  unwearying  patience. 
I  was  by  nature  an  enthusiast,  and  now  that  the 
energies  of  my  mind  were  all  bent  to  this  one  point, 
it  was  little  wonder  that  I  even  went  beyond  my  reli 
gious  models. 

Even  Lizzie  Williams,  in  the  height  of  her  popu 
larity,  had  never  been  so  delighted  in  by  her  teachers, 
nor  so  envied  by  her  companions.  Where  I  was 
once  disliked  and  distrusted,  I  was  now  a  special 
object  of  affection  and  admiration.  Dr.  Severe  treated 
8 


114  MARION   LESTER. 

me  with  marked  kindness,  and  Mrs.  Winthrop  lav 
ished  upon  me  every  term  of  praise  and  endearment. 
My  exemplary  conduct  was  often  referred  to,  and 
many  times  have  I  been  pointed  out  as  a  model 
scholar  and  Christian.  Flattery's  most  poisoned 
draught  was  presented  to  my  lips,  and  I  drank.  I 
became  proud,  —  not  of  my  beauty,  nor  dress,  nor 
wealth,  nor  station, —  not  of  my  mind,  nor  its  acquire 
ments,  —  but  of  my  religious  preferment,  my  fancied 
spiritual  improvement. 

I  came  to  think  I  was  an  object  of  God's  special 
favor ;  to  feel  within  myself  that  I  was  surely  one  of 
his  elect.  I  regarded  all  other  sects  and  denomina 
tions  with  a  genuine  aversion,  and  thought  there  was 
little  hope  of  heaven  out  of  the  pale  of  my  own 
church. 

I  look  back  upon  the  time  of  which  I  write,  through 
a  long  vista  of  quiet  years,  and  I  can  comprehend 
more  clearly  than  then  all  my  thoughts  and  emotions. 
It  was  a  blind  infatuation  which  possessed  me.  A 
fatal  error  clogged  my  spirit's  pinions  and  bent  them 
earthward,  when  I  would  fain  have  soared  above. 

Withal  I  was  not  happy ;  a  continued  unrest,  an 
unsatisfied  longing,  pervaded  my  soul.  Then  I  would 
think  it  was  all  my  want  of  spiritual  fervor,  and  I 
would  pray  and  wrestle  with  myself  until  exhausted 
with  mental  agitation. 

There  were  some  backsliders  among  the  converted 


MARIOX   LESTER.  115 

pupils,  and  it  required  great  ingenuity  and  patience 
on  the  part  of  the  teachers  to  reclaim  them.  It  was 
once  whispered  about  that  Edwin  Sanders  had  been 
the  perpetrator  of  a  practical  joke  upon  the  professor ; 
but  the  story  was  soon  hushed  up,  for  Edwin  was  a 
member  of  the  church.  Yet  nature  was  too  strong 
to  remain  always  hidden  beneath  the  imposed  restraint, 
and  sometimes  it  displayed  itself  in  wild  freaks  and 
dare-devil  fooleries,  greatly  to  the  discredit  of  his 
professions.  Still  we  had  hopes  for  the  wild  boy,  as 
he  invariably  manifested  great  contrition  for  his  sins, 
and  sometimes  for  a  whole  week  would  conduct  with 
unquestionable  propriety. 

I  began  to  hear  Arthur  "Willis  spoken  of  sneering- 
ly,  —  the  irreproachable  Arthur  Willis ;  what  could 
it  mean  ?  I  observed  the  doctor  treated  him  coolly, 
and  that  the  young  man  himself  appeared  more  un 
happy  and  perplexed  than  before.  Could  it  be  pos 
sible  that  the  high  hopes  centred  in  him  would  be 
disappointed  ?  So  I  feared ;  and  yet  his  noble  counte 
nance  belied  every  aspersion  which  could  be  breathed 
against  him. 

One  evening  Cora  and  I  were  with  Miss  Ingols. 
listening  to  her  charming  music,  when  Arthur  Willis 
entered.  He  wished  us  good-evening,  and  expressed 
his  satisfaction  at  finding  us  all  together,  as  he  might 
have  no  other  chance  to  say  good-by  to  us. 

"  Am  I  to  understand,"  said  Miss  Ingols,  leaving 


116  MARION   LESTER. 

the  piano  and  placing  a  chair  for  him;  "  am  I  to 
understand  that  you  think  of  leaving  us  ?  " 

"  Yes,  Miss  Ingols,  I  am  going  now,  of  my  own 
free  will.  I  prefer  to  walk  out  like  a  man,  than  to 
wait  until  I  am  driven,  dogged  out,  hissed  out ;  or, 
in  more  polite  language,  expelled  !  " 

His  tone  was  the  concentration  of  bitterness,  and 
his  words  surprising  for  one  so  gentle  and  refined. 

"  I  am  sorry  you  are  going,  and  still  more  do  I 
regret  your  apparent  dissatisfaction." 

"  I  am  glad  to  go  where  I  can  breathe  freely ;  and 
I  will  never  enter  a  religious  hot-house  again !  " 

"  I  am  in  a  perfect  puzzle,  Mr.  Willis.  Have  you 
quarrelled  with  the  professor?  Do  explain  your 
self!" 

"  Miss  Marion,  I  have,  unfortunately,  a  mind  of 
my  own,  which  must  draw  its  own  inferences, — a  mind 
which  cannot  be  bought,  even  for  the  sake  of  popular 
ity  or  fortune.  The  coldness  of  former  friends,  and 
the  withdrawal  of  their  support,  cannot  make  me  sec 
truth  in  an  absurdity,  nor  harmonize  contrarieties. 
I  once  thought  the  Bible  a  perfect  guide,  and  had 
confidence  in  Dr.  Severe  as  an  expounder  of  the 
Word.  I  resolved  to  fit  myself  for  a  minister  of  the 
gospel,  and  commenced  my  tutelage  under  Dr.  Se 
vere.  But  my  heart  questioned  what  my  creed 
asserted,  and  then  my  mind  was  thrown  into  per 
plexity  and  confusion.  The  more  I  studied,  the 


MARION  LESTER.  117 

more  I  pondered,  the  greater  was  my  difficulty.  A 
great  problem  has  been  revolving  in  my  mind  for 
months,  and  I  can  only  conclude  that  the  premises 
are  false.  My  first  expressed  doubt  brought  down 
upon  my  head  a  sharp  rebuke ;  and,  since  then,  as 
my  convictions  have  become  more  and  more  unsettled. 
I  am  denounced  as  a  come-outer,  an  infidel !  Argu 
ment,  entreaty,  threats,  alike  have  failed ;  it  is  reason 
I  want,  and  that  is  not  yet  clear  to  my  mind.  In 
two  months  I  should  have  completed  my  studies,  and 
then  I  was  to  be  ordained.  But,  of  course,  that  could 
not  take  place  in  my  present  state  of  mind,  and  so  I 
told  the  doctor.  Goodness !  what  a  storm  I  had 
raised  !  Before,  the  house  was  almost  too  hot  to  hold 
me,  and  now  I  am  called  an  ingrate,  a  deceiver.  I 
am  accused  of  purposely  unsettling  the  minds  of  those 
who  have  fallen  back  from  the  Christian  ranks ;  if  it 
had  not  been  for  me  all  who  were  converted  might 
yet  have  been  humble  devotees.  Verily,  if  an  earth 
quake  had  swallowed  us  up,  it  would  be  a  just  penalty 
for  the  harboring  of  a  heretic  such  as  I  am !  " 

He  sat  very  upright  during  the  delivery  of  this 
speech.  His  usually  pale  face  was  flushed,  and  an 
unwonted  light  flashed  in  his  dark  eye. 

"  Arthur  Willis,  you  are  beside  yourself!  " 
"  Make  yourself  easy,  Marion ;  I  am  nearer  in  my 
right  mind  than  I  have  been,  and  I  shall  be  quite 
sane  when  I  have  left  this  place.     If,  indeed,  there  is 


118  MARION   LESTER. 

a  God,  —  I  almost  doubt  it  sometimes,  —  it  is  strange 
he  does  not  reveal  himself  more  clearly  to  man,  that 
there  might  be  no  disputing  about  his  government." 

Cora's  eyes  were  dilated  and  swimming  in  tears. 
She  laid  her  little  hand  on  the  young  man's  arm,  and 
said,  gently,  "  I  pray  you  never  to  question,  in 
thought,  the  existence  of  God ;  rather  seek  his  face, 
and  embrace  his  religion;  then  you  will  no  more 
doubt." 

His  expression  changed,  and  he  said,  in  a  softened 
voice,  "  What  is  this  religion,  Cora,  which  you  would 
have  me  obtain  ?  I  cannot  see  it,  I  have  never  found 
it.  Is  it  not,  after  all,  a  phantom  of  the  imagination, 
rather  than  a  reality?  " 

"  0,  believe  me,  it  is  a  reality,  a  necessity  !  else 
how  can  you  be  saved?"  She  turned  away  froin 
him ;  still  I  could  see  the  bright  drops  fall  through 
her  fingers  as  she  essayed  to  hide  her  agitated  face. 

Miss  Ingols  now  spoke  :  "  Your  error  has  been  in 
reasoning  too  much.  There  are  mysteries  in  religion 
which  we  cannot  always  fathom,  and  it  is  best  to 
leave  speculation  and  argument  alone.  You  will  go 
away  for  a  little  while,  and  then,  when  your  mind  is 
rested,  and  has  resumed  its  natural  tone,  you  will 
come  back  again,  and  all  we  have  hoped  for  in  your 
behalf  will  be  accomplished." 

Arthur  shook  his  head.  "My  dear  lady,  I  shall 
never  voluntarily  return.  My  heart  is  weaned  from 


MARION   LESTER.  119 

everything  pertaining  to  a  ministerial  profession,  and 
I  assure  you  I  shall  never  sue  for  the  renewed  friend 
ship  of  those  who  tell  me  that  a  pure  moral  life  will 
avail  me  nothing  at  the  last  day,  if  I  have  not  pro 
fessed  that  something  which  men  call  religion.  If 
the  highest  morality  is  nothing  in  the  sight  of  God, 
and  religion  can  exist  without  morality,  then,  indeed, 
I  would  be  an  infidel  rather  than  seek  that  reli 
gion  !  " 

I  was  inexpressibly  shocked,  and  yet  I  felt  he  had 
been  used  unkindly. 

"  I  perceive  I  am  grieving  you  all,  and  this  talk 
is  doing  no  good,"  he  said,  rising.  "  I  will  now  bid 
you  good-by ;  and  if,  when  I  am  gone,  you  hear  my 
name  coupled  with  reproach,  remember  how  long  I 
battled  with  myself,  and  that  at  last  I  was  driven 
away  by  unkindness  and  unmerited  scorn." 

He  shook  hands  with  us  severally,  while  his  fine 
face  was  contracted  with  the  emotion  he  could  not 
wholly  subdue. 

"  May  the  Lord  follow  you  and  lead  you  aright !  " 
said  Miss  Ingols.  The  young  man  bowed  and  turned 
away. 

Soon  Mrs.  Winthrop  appeared,  with  an  air  of 
triumphant  satisfaction.  ' '  And  so  he  has  concluded 
to  go  at  last ;  it  will  be  a  great  relief  to  my  mind." 

"Do  you  mean  Arthur  Willis?"  queried  Miss 
Ingols. 


120  MARION  LESTER. 

"  To  be  sure.  I  am  heartily  glad  he  has  the 
sense  to  perceive  that  his  presence  here  is  a  nuisance. 
He  has  done  no  little  harm  in  privately  teaching  his 
infidel  notions;  and,  even  if  he  had  never  said  a 
word,  it  could  not  but  have  a  bad  influence  for  one 
who  intended  to  be  a  minister  to  take  the  stand  that 
he  has.  His  mind  has  been  in  a  ferment  these  six 
months,  and  now  he  comes  out  a  rank  infidel.  It  is 
so  discouraging,  so  mortifying  !  " 

"It  is  a  sad  case,"  said  Miss  Ingols;  "  and  yet  I 
think  the  word  infidel  is  too  harsh  to  apply  to  him. 
And,  begging  your  pardon,  Mrs.  Winthrop,  I  am 
sure  you  wrong  him  in  accusing  him  of  intentionally 
misleading  others.  He  is  one  who  cannot  bear 
harshness,  and  he  feels  that  he  has  been  condemned 
unjustly.  He  goes  away  with  bitter  feelings,  and  I 
fear  that  the  very  measures  which  have  been  taken 
to  convert  him  will,  in  the  end,  drive  him  to  destruc 
tion." 

"  Have  you  concluded,  madam  ?  Have  you  arrayed 
all  your  charges  ?  First,  I  am  taken  to  task  because 
I  call  this  young  man  what  he  undoubtedly  is,  an 
infidel.  Then  you  accuse  me  of  making  wrongful 
charges  against  him.  And,  to  crown  all,  you  insinu 
ate  that  my  brother,  the  professor,  has  ill-treated 
him,  has  been  unnecessarily  harsh  towards  him ! 
This  is  too  much  !  Why,  if  the  doctor  has  been  at 
fault  at  all,  he  has  been  too  patient,  too  forbearing  ! 


MARION  LESTER.  121 

This  is  not  the  first  time  you  have  called  our  conduct 
or  our  motives  in  question,  and  it  is  very  displeasing 
to  me.  You  forget  your  place,  Miss  Ingols." 

The  indignant  blood  bounded  to  my  brow.  I 
turned  to  see  how  Miss  Ingols  bore  this  insulting 
harangue.  Her  countenance  was  unchanged,  and 
her  voice  as  clear  and  sweet  as  ever. 

"  You  mistake  me,  Mrs.  Winthrop ;  I  call  no  one's 
name  in  question ;  I  only  expressed  my  opinion  that 
the  best  method  had  not  been  taken.  I  cannot  but 
regretfully  feel  that  if  a  little  more  patience  and 
indulgence  had  been  used,  Arthur  Willis  might  have 
remained  with  us,  and  been  eventually  saved  from 
the  danger  now  threatening  him.  0,  if  his  noble 
soul  is  forever  lost,  what  responsibility  lieth  here  !  " 

A  sudden  paleness  overspread  her  face,  and  she 
rose  up  quickly,  and  passed  into  her  bed-chamber. 
I  understood  the  motion,  and  knew  the  anguish  of 
her  crushed  heart  had  swelled  in  renewed  power, 
and  that  for  hours  the  black  waves  of  woe  would  roll 
over  her  soul,  without  one  struggling  ray  of  hope  to 
pierce  the  gloom. 

"  Well,  Harriet  Ingols  is  the  strangest  girl !  I 
never  could  make  her  understand  her  place.  But  — 
why  —  Cora,  Marion,  how  came  you  here  listening 
to  the  conversation  of  your  superiors?  You  are 
guilty  of  a  great  impropriety.  Go  to  your  rooms,  I 
say,  and  study  better  manners  !  " 


CHAPTER   X. 

AGAIN  AT  HOME. 

THE  fall  term  had  closed,  and  we  commenced 
making  arrangements  to  return  to  our  homes.  I  was 
glad,  for  Cora's  sake,  that  our  school  duties  were 
over,  as  I  felt  that  she  was  failing.  The  balsam, 
which  Alfred  purchased  for  her  cough,  had  not  proved 
very  efficacious,  and  I  saw,  with  alarm,  that  her 
appetite  and  strength  were  fast  forsaking  her.  But  I 
argued  that  a  change  of  scene  might  benefit  her,  and 
hoped  much  from  the  nursing  of  a  good  aunt  of  hers, 
whom  Alfred  had  persuaded  to  live  with  them. 

My  father  came  for  us.  There  was  nothing  in 
his  fond  greeting  reminding  me  of  the  change  which 
had  taken  place  in  me  since  we  had  parted  ;  nothing 
which  betokened  grief  or  displeasure  on  his  part. 
He  was  very  kind  and  attentive,  and  solicitous  for 
our  comfort  in  the  smallest  matters.  On  the  journey 
he  pointed  out  every  object  of  note  or  interest,  and 
talked  about  them  in  his  usual  instructive  and  enter 
taining  manner.  And  yet,  in  the  pauses  of  conver- 


MARION    LESTER.  123 

sation,  I  was  conscious  that  he  studied  my  face  with 
painful  anxiety. 

I  was  grateful  for  his  forbearance,  and  thought  I 
could  only  repay  him  with  great  delicacy  and  con 
sideration.  "  And,"  said  I,  inwardly,  "  when  he  is 
convinced  that,  after  all,  I  am  right  and  he  is  wrong, 
we  will  love  each  other  more  than  ever,  and  I  shall 
be  so  happy  !  " 

Animated  with  these  hopes,  the  time  passed  quickly 
to  me.  Before  nightfall  I  was  in  my  own  home,  with 
my  mother's  welcoming  voice  in  my  ear,  and  her 
tears  and  kisses  on  my  cheek. 

A  year  is  a  long  time  to  be  from  home.  A  year  ? 
it  seemed  like  three  !  Now  again  in  the  dear,  famil 
iar  place,  my  breast  was  overcharged  with  happy 
emotion. 

"  I  had  not  grown  a  bit,  or  altered  in  the  least !  " 
so  declared  my  mother  in  her  first  salutation.  But 
when  my  bonnet  and  wrappings  were  removed,  she 
thought  I  had  grown  older,  and  lost  some  of  my 
bloom. 

"  Don't  tell  a  girl  of  eighteen  about  losing  her 
bloom,"  said  my  father,  laughing  ;  "  she  must  wear 
roses  many  a  year  yet." 

"  0.  I  hope  so !  She  is  tired  now,  and  has 
studied  too  hard,  I  dare  say.  You  must  do  nothing 
but  rest  yourself  for  a  month,  my  love,  and  hunt  up 
all  your  favorite  books  and  employments.  See; 


124  MARION   LESTER. 

May,  I  have  brought  your  little  work-table  and 
rocker  into  the  parlor,  so  everything  might  seem 
natural  to  you." 

So  I  sat  in  my  old  familiar  chair,  with  my  dear 
father  and  mother  on  either  side.  The  incense  of 
affection  was  so  delightful,  and  such  pleasant  memo 
ries  came  thronging  in  upon  my  heart,  that  every  fear 
and  anxiety  was  forgotten.  There  was  nothing  to 
mar  our  first  interview,  and  not  a  sad  thought  in 
truded,  save  when  I  remembered  that  darling  Cora 
had  no  parents  to  welcome  her. 

A  day  or  two  after,  Cora  visited  us,  and  as  she 
went  away,  my  mother  stood  at  the  window  watching 
her  thoughtfully.  She  turned,  with  a  gentle  sigh, 
and  seated  herself  by  my  side. 

"  Poor  Cora ! ''  she  said,  "  how  she  is  changed  ! 
She  used  to  spving  through  the  garden  like  a  bird, 
and  her  face  "Aras  like  a  gleam  of  sunshine  !  Now 
her  step  is  slow  and  languid,  and  she  is  so  still,  and 
pale,  and  sad,  it  makes  my  heart  ache  to  look  at 
her." 

"  No  wonder,  mother ;  her  home  is  desolate. 
Alfred  is  away,  and  she  must  be  lonely  only  with 
her  aunt." 

"  Yes,  poor  child,  she  feels  her  bereavement  sadly. 
But  that  alone  could  not  destroy  every  trace  of  her 
joyous  nature." 

"  Cora  is  unwell  and  low-spirited." 


MARION    LESTER.  125 

"I  see  that  plainly  enough,  the  dear,  motherless 
girl!  I  think  she  is  consumptive.  Yet,  surely, 
Marion,  there  is  something  more  than  common  sorrow 
and  illness  affecting  her  spirits.  She  is  changed 
every  way  ;  I  can  hardly  realize  that  she  is  the  same 
Cora  Eaton  who,  one  year  ago,  was  the  merriest, 
wildest  gypsy  in  town.  And  her  laugh,  May,  you 
used  to  say,  was  like  the  sweet  gush  of  a  bird's  song. 
Ah,  she  seems  like  a  blighted  flower !  And  you, 
my  dear,  are  altered,  too.  When  you  were  gone  the 
house  seemed  too  still ;  I  used  to  long  to  hear  your 
loud,  hearty  laugh,  and  to  see  you  dancing  and  hum 
ming  about  your  work  ;  but  you  are  still  and  grave. 
I  fear,  Marion,  you  are  not  as  glad  as  you  ought  to 
be,  to  come  home  again." 

"  Dear  mother,  don't  say  that ;  I  am  glad  to  be 
at  home,  and  you  and  father  never  seemed  dearer 
to  me ;  but  —  "  Here  tears  choked  my  utterance,  so 
touched  was  I  by  my  mother's  tender  reproaches. 

"There,  I've  made  you  cry  already,  and  I 
promised  your  father  I  would  never  say  a  word  to 
grieve  you,  or  which  should  sound  like  the  shadow 
of  a  reproach.  Forgive  me,  May,"  she  said,  wip 
ing  away  my  tears,  while  her  own  came  faster. 
"  I  do  not  mean  to  find  fault  with  you.  I  only  am 
to  blame  if  the  sunshine  of  your  faith  is  turned  to 
coldness  and  gloom.  0,  if  I  had  listened  to  your 


126  MARION   LESTEE. 

good  father's  advice,  this  sorrow  might  have  been 
averted ! " 

"  Mother,  mother,  don't  cry;  it  breaks  my  heart !  " 

"  There,  I  will  be  calm  for  your  sake,  darling ; 
but,  0,  it  is  sad  to  have  the  one  star  of  our  dwelling 
dimmed  and  shaded  —  to  have  our  only  child  become 
the  victim  of  an  iron  theology  !  for  what  else  can  I 
call  it,  when  I  witness  the  transformation  of  two 
such  children  of  nature  and  joy  ?  But  I  am  the 
most  to  blame,  and  that  makes  my  grief  the  more 
bitter ! " 

"  Do  not  blame  yourself,  dear  mother,  for  what  I 
bless  you! " 

"  You  bless  me  for  it?  My  child,  you  know  not 
what  you  say  !  But  you  never  shall  have  anything 
to  cross  or  disturb  you.  Your  father  says  that,  if 
you  are  not  opposed,  your  mind  may,  in  time,  out 
grow  these  errors  and  prejudices." 

"  Dear  mother,  hear  me  ;  I  am  not  unhappy, —  at 
least,  I  shall  not  be  when  you  and  father  have 
accepted  the  true  salvation.  If  I  am  changed  in 
appearance,  't  is  because  I  now  see  the  responsibili 
ties,  the  stern  realities  of  life,  where  I  once  only 
beheld  the  sunny  side.  I  hope  and  pray  I  may  be 
the  instrument,  in  the  hands  of  God,  of  the  conver 
sion  and  ultimate  salvation  of  those  I  love.  When 
you  think  as  I  do,  you  will  rejoice  in  the  events 
which  you  now  lament." 


MARION   LESTER.  127 

"  My  child,  think  not  you  can  turn  your  parents 
from  their  altar  of  faith.  I  am  indeed  unworthy  to 
be  called  a  Christian,  but  your  father  is  one  in  the 
truest  sense.  For  many  years  he  has  taken  Christ 
for  his  guide,  and  prayerfully,  earnestly,  has  he  tried 
to  walk  in  his  steps.  I  have  been  a  worldly  woman, 
and  yet  I  have  long  felt  the  need  of  genuine  reli 
gion.  Now  will  I  seek  it  more  earnestly  than  ever, 
not  that  I  may  be  saved  from  endless  woe,  but  that  I 
may  rejoice,  as  the  children  of  God  rejoice !  The 
religion  of  which  I  speak  will  make  life  brighter 
and  heaven  nearer.  It  is  fittest  for  the  young,  as 
well  as  for  the  old;  for  the  gay,  as  for  the  sad. 
It  dries  the  mourner's  tears,  and  illumines  every 
shadow  of  life.  That  you,  my  precious  child,  may 
enjoy  this  religion,  is  the  ceaseless  prayer  of  my 
heart!" 

She  arose  with  a  dignity  which  awed  me,  while 
her  face,  still  wet  with  tears,  was  eloquent  with  high 
hope  and  trust. 

She  left  me  to  my  reflections,  and  sad  and  confus 
ing  they  were.  Conscience  whispered  severe  re 
proaches.  Instead  of  warning  her  of  her  danger, 
instead  of  weeping  and  praying  with  her,  and  telling 
her  of  my  agonizing  fears,  and  yearning  hopes,  I 
had  allowed  myself  to  be  overcome  by  her  regrets. 
I  had  not  even  defended  my  position  with  Christian 
zeal.  Ah !  with  deep  reverence  and  affection  on  the 


128  MARION   LESTER. 

one  side,  and  threatened  desolation  and  separation 
on  the  other,  I  was  painfully  bewildered.  "But 
another  time  I  will  be  firmer ;  "  and  so  I  put  aside 
the  imaginary  duty,  which,  though  unpleasant,  I 
deemed  unavoidable. 


CHAPTER   XI. 

THE  MINISTER  AND  HIS  WIFE.  —  SUNDAY. 

"WELL,  Marion,  how  do  you  like  our  minis 
ter?" 

"I  cannot  say  that  I  like  him  very  much." 

"I  suppose  my  daughter  can  give  her  reasons  for 
not  being  pleased  with  one  who  is  universally  admired 
and  beloved  ?  " 

"  Why,  he  is  —  I  can't  exactly  say  he  is  gay  and 
trifling  —  and  he  is  sufficiently  dignified  —  but  he  is 
so  —  has  such  a  brisk,  cheerful  way,  that  I  can't  like 
in  a  minister." 

"How  would  you  have  him  appear?  I  suppose 
you  think  ministers  ought  to  look  sad  and  solemn, 
always  talking  and  acting  as  though  they  were  at 
somebody's  funeral." 

"  No.  father,  not  so  bad  as  that ;  still,  it  seems,  if 
a  minister  feels  the  responsibilities  of  his  office  very 
sensibly,  and  realizes  the  sinfulness  of  man,  that  he 
will  always  be  grave  and  serious." 

"  Gravity  and  seriousness  certainly  become  the 
9 


130  MARION  LESTER. 

sacred  office ;  but  Mr.  Whitney  is  a  very  social  man, 
and  in  friendly  intercourse  is  always  cheerful,  and 
sometimes  witty  and  merry.  This  I  consider  per 
fectly  consistent,  as  the  faith  he  proclaims  is  a  bright 
and  glorious  one.  The  gospel  he  preaches  is  '  good 
news  to  all  people  ; '  so,  why  should  he  not  wear  a 
smiling  face  and  a  glad  heart?  " 

I  did  not  immediately  answer,  but  sat  looking  into 
the  fire,  as  though  I  might  find  there  a  suitable  reply. 
My  kind  father  did  not  press  his  question,  and,  observ 
ing  my  thoughtful  air,  he  opened  his  evening  paper, 
and  began  to  peruse  it. 

This  talk  was  about  the  young  pastor  of  the  society 
of  which  my  father  was  a  member.  He  had  been 
located  there  about  five  months.  His  bride  was 
Mary  Benton,  the  young  lady  introduced  in  the  first 
chapter  ;  her  sister  Emma  now  occupied  her  place  as 
assistant  teacher  in  the  Eldon  Institute. 

The  praises  of  the  minister  and  his  wife  were  on 
everybody's  lips.  His  talents,  and  goodness,  and 
genial  manners,  were  proclaimed  at  the  mention  of  his 
name.  And  Mrs.  Whitney  was  the  dearest,  sweetest 
woman  in  the  world  !  Everybody  loved  her ;  the 
rich  and  genteel  admired  her  refined  dignity,  of  man 
ner,  and  the  poor  and  suffering  called  her  their  good 
angel.  Where  there  was  sickness  or  mourning, 
wherever  temporal  or  spiritual  food  was  needed,  there 


MARION   LESTER.  131 

was  lovely  Mary  Whitney  by  the  side  of  her  noble 
husband. 

Thus  were  the  characters  of  the  minister  and  his 
wife  pictured  to  me,  and,  had  not  my  mind  been 
warped  by  prejudice,  I  should  have  appreciated  and 
loved  them  at  once. 

As  it  was,  I  felt  embarrassed  and  half-annoyed 
when  informed  that  Mr.  and  Mrs.  Whitney  had  called, 
and  were  awaiting  me  in  the  parlor.  I  entered  the 
room,  feeling  a  little  awkward.  My  constraint  was 
quickly  dissipated,  however,  by  Mrs.  Whitney's  easy, 
affectionate  greeting.  She  met  me  just  as  when  we 
were  schoolmates,  and  gracefully  presented  me  to  her 
husband. 

Mr.  Whitney  had  a  frank,  happy  countenance ; 
he  was  far  from  being  handsome,  yet  his  plain 
features  were  stamped  with  intellect,  giving  them 
a  noble  cast.  His  clear  blue  eyes  wore  a  beaming 
light,  and  his  large  mouth  seemed  spiritualized  in 
his  genial  smile.  A  thrill  of  happy  animation 
passed  through  the  circle  (there  were  other  visitors 
present),  and  I  felt,  instinctively,  that  it  emanated, 
like  electricity,  from  the  smile  of  Mr.  Whitney. 
I  could  not  exactly  decide  whether  he  had  the 
remarkable  faculty  of  extracting  honey  from  every 
thing,  or  whether  the  sunshine  within  brightened 
whatever  he  touched. 

He  was  just  such  a  character  as  I  naturally  ad- 


132  MARION  LESTER. 

mired ;  but  then  my  mind  was  in  the  morbid  state, 
and  his  cheerfulness  reacted  upon  me  painfully. 
Life,  to  me,  wore  a  stern  and  rugged  aspect ;  and 
I  thought  that  a  true  Christian,  even  if  secure  of 
his  own  salvation,  should  ever  be  studying  to  show 
the  way  of  redemption  to  others.  So,  fully  believing 
the  religion  I  professed,  though  of  a  very  social 
temperament,  I  could  not  enjoy  the  amenities  of 
friendly  intercourse  without  self-reproach.  Of 
course,  therefore,  no  one  like  Mr.  Whitney  could 
escape  my  censure.  In  his  case,  recently  imbibed 
prejudices  rose  up  and  condemned  him,  and  every 
smile  my  diseased  imagination  counted  almost  a 
sin. 

The  morrow  was  the  Sabbath.  The  sun  rose 
in  unwonted  splendor.  "Without,  all  was  light 
and  beauty;  within,  were  conflicting  elements 
warring  upon  my  peace.  A  momentous  question 
arose  in  my  mind ;  should  I  wound  my  parents 
by  refusing  to  accompany  them  to  meeting,  or 
should  I  go  and  hear  the  preaching  of  what  I 
believed  to  be  a  fatal  and  soul-destroying  her 
esy? 

I  soon  decided  upon  the  point,  and,  taking  my 
Bible,  sat  down  quietly  to  its  study.  When  my 
parents  appeared,  dressed  for  church,  mother  looked 


MARION   LESTER.  133 

at  me  in  surprise,  and  said,  "Are  you  not  going 
with  us,  Marion  ?  " 

I  shook  my  head. 

My  father's  face-  expressed  deep  grief  and  disap 
pointment.  "  I  thought,  as  there  is  no  church  of 
your  faith  in  the  place,  that,  of  course,  you  would 
accompany  us  to  the  sanctuary.  Can  we  not  wor 
ship  the  Lord  together,  even  if  our  faiths  are  un 
like?" 

I  trembled  violently,  yet  my  sense  of  duty  pre 
vailed,  and  I  said,  composedly,  "Forgive  me,  father; 
I  cannot  go  with  you ;  I  feel  it  would  be  wrong  ; 
pray,  do  not  ask  me !  " 

The  tears  came  to  mother's  eyes,  and  she  was  going 
to  plead  with  me,  when  father  drew  her  arm  within 
his,  and  led  her  away.  His  face  was  very  sad,  almost 
stern,  I  thought. 

Then  I  thought  of  our  pew,  where  I  had  sat  so 
many  happy  Sabbaths  in  the  past ;  and  of  my  father 
and  mother  sitting  there  alone  "  a  twelvemonth  ;  " 
and  now  their  only  child  had  returned,  and  would  not 
worship  with  them.  I  thought  how  lonely,  how 
desolate  they  must  feel ;  and  I  wept  in  pity  for  them, 
and  in  pity  for  myself. 

0,  it  was  sad !  and  yet  it  was  a  cross  I  must  bear 
for  the  sake  of  Christ. 

After  that  there  was  nothing  said  about  my  going 
to  meeting.  I  was  allowed  to  remain  at  home  without 


134  MARION   LESTER. 

any  opposition.  I  saw  it  made  my  parents  very 
unhappy,  as  it  certainly  did  me ;  but  my  religious 
teachers  and  my  convictions  pointed  out  a  certain 
path  of  duty,  and,  feeling  like  a  young  martyr,  I 
walked  firmly  therein. 


CHAPTER   XII. 

THE  RETURN. 

ALFRED  returned  at  last  from  college,  crowned 
with  honors,  buoyant  in  hope,  and  radiant  with 
health.  He  wore  high  honors,  and  yet  his  erect, 
manly  form  and  lustrous  eyes  told  no  tale  of  wearing 
study,  or  of  the  "midnight  oil."  Though  a  hard 
student,  a  very  book-worm,  Alfred  was  too  active, 
too  fond  of  nature,  to  sacrifice  health  to  unremitting 
study,  without  change  or  exercise.  So  his  equable, 
elastic,  healthful  temperament  carried  him  through 
his  course  with  undiminished  health  and  spirits. 

He  was  matured,  improved,  and  polished  in  out 
ward  appearance.  His  elevated  conversation  evinced 
a  harmonious  mind  and  an  enlightened  understand 
ing.  His  open,  expressive  face  was  in  keeping  with 
an  honest,  upright  heart. 

So  appeared  my  friend  to  my  partial  eyes,  —  a 
union  of  manly  grace,  intellect,  and  goodness. 

And  when  my  hand  was  locked  in  his,  and  his 
smiling  eyes  looked  into  mine  with  such  happy  sig- 


136  MARION  LESTER. 

nificance,  a  delightful  spell  enthralled  my  senses. 
Then  was  dissolved  the  gloomy,  misty  atmosphere 
surrounding  me  ;  then  were  the  fickle,  heating,  heart- 
blighting  fancies,  which  I  misthought  religious  fervor, 
banished,  —  sent  trooping  away  in  darkness ;  while  a 
broad  burst  of  sunlight  flashed  upon  my  awakening 
heart. 

I  seemed  endowed  with  a  new  existence ;  or,  rather, 
for  the  time  being,  I  was  again  as  was  myself  before 
I  became  a  gloomy,  sad  religionist.  The  blood 
tingled  with  keener  life  in  my  veins ;  my  eyes  felt 
the  new  light  streaming  from  them. 

Mother  smiled  a  little  maliciously.  "  Alfred,  it  is 
well  you  have  come,"  she  said,  playfully;  "your 
presence  acts  like  a  charm  on  Marion.  She  has 
moped  and  pined  ever  since  she  came  from  school, 
and  I  have  tried  in  vain  to  find  a  remedy.  You 
seem  to  have  brought  the  needed  elixir." 

Deeply  blushing,  half-vexed,  half-amused,  I  pro 
tested  against  my  mother's  position  as  exceedingly 
absurd. 

Mother  laughed,  and  Alfred  laughed,  too;  then 
he  turned  upon  me  such  a  smile,  —  a  grave,  sweet, 
comprehending  smile, —  that  I  was  more  confused 
than  ever,  and  the  crimson  tide  rolled  again  over 
my  burning  cheeks. 

Alfred  enjoyed  my  distress.  His  black  eyes 
twinkled  wickedly.  Then  I  obtained  the  control  of 


MAKION   LESTER.  137 

myself,  and  began  to  look  very  dignified  and  resolved ; 
•whereupon  Alfred  became  grave  again,  and  sat  down 
by  my  side. 

My  mother  directly  left  us  alone. 

Then  we  discoursed  soberly,  yet  gladly,  of  the 
things  nearest  our  hearts.  The  past,  with  its  remi 
niscences  both  pleasing  and  mournful,  was  reverted  to: 
and  the  future,  the  bright,  untried  future,  presented 
delightful  pictures  of  felicity.  0,  the  castles  we 
builded,  and  the  sweet  life  we  lived  in  fancy  !  All 
too  bright  for  realization  were  our  plannings,  as  we 
forgot  that  the  threads  in  the  web  of  life  are  not 
all  golden  ones. 

And,  still,  in  my  happiness,  I  heard,  in  a  secret 
chamber  of  my  soul,  a  chill  whisper,  a  foreboding 
knocking  at  my  breast.  I  felt  there  was  yet  worm 
wood  in  the  sweet  cup  whose  delicious  foam  I  was  now 
quaffing. 

I  remembered  we  were  not  really  and  entirely  one, 
as  we  tried  to  make  it  appear  to  ourselves.  I  remem 
bered  that  we  still  worshipped  at  different  altars. 
He,  alas,  knelt  at  an  altar  which  would  blight  our 
budding  happiness  with  rayless  darkness,  if  he  per 
sisted  in  his  allegiance  there  !  But,  0,  I  would  win 
him  to  my  altar,  and  he  would  be  saved  !  I  was  sure 
of  this. 

So  the  whisper,  the  foreboding,  the  wormwood 
were  forgotten.  Our  first  meeting  could  not  be 


138  MARION   LESTER. 

marred  with  either.  I  was  so  drawn  away  from  my 
cankering  fears  and  anxieties,  so  long  nursed,  but 
now.  allowed  to  slumber,  that  I  was  willing  to  bask  in 
the  sunshine,  nor  desired  to  touch  upon  religious 
themes. 

The  conformist,  the  religionist,  was  merged  into 
the  happy  maiden.  I  was  my  own  self  again.  Would 
to  Heaven  the  shadows  had  all  been  exorcised,  never 
again  to  darken  my  mind !  0,  that  in  that  sacred 
hour  had  been  obliterated  the  dark,  unnatural  phase 
of  my  life  !  But  it  was  otherwise  to  be.  Injured 
nature  must  be  redressed.  Only  could  the  love  of 
God  throw  light  upon  my  path,  showing  my  mistaken 
way.  And  it  pleased  Him  to  do  it  in  the  storm  and 
thunder-shock ;  so  it  was  needful,  so  tenacious  was 
my  mind  of  opinions  I  had  once  embraced. 

But  I  will  not  anticipate. 


It  was  a  clear,  bright  morning.  The  first  snow 
of  the  season  lay  glittering  in  the  sun ;  it  covered 
the  bosom  of  the  earth  several  inches  deep,  —  win 
ter's  downy  mantle. 

We  sat  at  breakfast,  discussing  hot  rolls  and  deli 
cious  coffee.  The  keen  air  vibrated  to  the  merry 
jingle  of  sleigh-bells  ;  I  looked  up,  and  beheld  Alfred 
at  the  gate,  in  a  gilded  sleigh,  with  his  beautiful  pony, 
Archie.  Buried  in  buffaloes,  with  only  her  dear  face 
visible,  was  his  sister  Cora.  And  how  fresh  and  smil- 


MARION   LESTER.  139 

ing  she  looked  !  Months  had  passed  since  I  had  seen 
such  a  fine  color  on  her  face,  or  such  a  joyous  light 
in  her  eye.  Verily,  Alfred  was  a  magician,  bringing 
sunshine,  and  smiles,  and  roses,  with  his  loved  pres 
ence.  He  entered  the  house  with  a  cheery  greeting. 

"  It  is  a  glorious  morning,  Marion,  and  we  are 
going  to  enjoy  it  to  the  utmost ;  will  you  ride  with 
us?" 

"  Will  I  go  ?  certainly,  and  without  any  urg- 
ing." 

My  good  mother  hastened  to  bring  furs  and  woollen 
gloves,  while  I  encased  my  feet  in  fur-lined  over 
shoes.  Then,  well  wrapped  in  shawls,  with  a  blue 
silk  hood  tied  snugly  over  my  ears,  I  turned  gayly  to 
my  father,  and  asked  if  he  thought  there  was  any 
danger  of  my  freezing  ? 

He  smiled  affectionately,  and  answered,  "  No,  my 
dear ;  not  while  your  young  blood  is  so  full  of  life 
and  animation  as  now.  Why,  darling,"  he  continued, 
drawing  me  to  him  in  a  fond  caress,  "you  are  bright 
and  sparkling  as  my  own  May  used  to  be,  and  ever 
should  be  !  It  makes  me  glad  to  see  it." 

Alfred  led  me  to  the  sleigh  ;  then  there  was  doubt 
expressed  about  our  riding  all  thre^e  on  one  seat,  with 
so  many  wrappings  and  buffaloes.  But  the  seat  was 
wide,  and  we  were  all  small,  and  we  packed  in  nicely. 

u  Plenty  of  room,  plenty  of  room,  but  not  an  inch 
to  spare." 


140  MARION   LESTER. 

Archie  pawed  the  ground  impatiently,  throwing 
into  the  air  little,  feathery  clouds  of  snow,  while  his 
proud  neck  was  beautifully  arched.  One  crack  of 
the  whip,  and  away  Archie  sped,  like  a  bird  on  the 
wing. 

Rushing  through  the  keen,  bracing  air,  the  tink 
ling  bells  sending  back  a  sweet  chime  in  our  ears,  the 
sunshine  glittering  everywhere,  all  combined  to  the 
exhilaration  and  vitalizing  of  our  spirits. 

There  is  something  inspiriting  in  a  sleigh-ride. 
It  animates  and  quickens  the  pulse ;  it  lifts  the  spirit 
on  buoyant  wings  ;  its  quick,  gliding  motion  imparts 
a  thrilling  pleasure;  and,  with  sunshine  and  gay 
company,  nothing  is  more  delightful. 

Our  little  party  keenly  enjoyed  the  occasion,  and 
laughter  and  merry  jests  effervesced  from  our  over 
flowing  spirits. 

Cora  acted  more  like  a  wild  sprite  than  anything 
else,  and  her  glad  laugh  gushed  in  melody  as  of  old. 
But,  by  strange  perversity  of  temper,  laughter,  from 
those  lips  so  long  mute  to  every  joyous  sound,  stirred 
a  plaintive  chord  in  my  breast.  It  reminded  me 
more  painfully  of  the  change  in  her  than  her  touch 
ing  sadness  itself. 

Then  I  found  myself  mentally  speculating  on  the 
probability  of  her  continued  cheerfulness,  and  my  own 
joy,  if  Alfred  should  embrace  our  faith.  I  became 
silent  and  thoughtful. 


MARION   LESTER.  141 

But  Alfred  brought  me  back  again  by  his  nn- 
diminished,  inexhaustible  cheerfulness;  and  once 
more  present  enjoyment  cast  out  anxieties  and  sober 
thoughts. 

"We  dashed  by  a  group  of  school-boys,  shouting, 
and  rolling,  and  tumbling  in  the  snow,  and  pelting 
each  other  heartily  with  snow-balls.  0,  school-boys 
love  the  merry  winter-time  ! 

A  little  further  on,  the  wicked,  impish  wind 
whisked  my  light  veil  away. 

"Your  pretty  wrought  veil,  Marion, —  0,  see, 
the  wind  has  stolen  it !  "  cried  Cora. 

High  up  in  air  it  fluttered,  as  though  meditating  a 
flight  to  the  upper  regions ;  then,  suddenly  diving 
downward,  it  scudded  along  near  the  ground. 

"You  hold  the  reins,  Marion,  and  I'll  after  the 
little  thing." 

".No,  no,  Alfred,  don't  chase  after  it;  it  is  of 
little  consequence,  and  I  'm  sure  you  never  can  over 
take  it." 

"  Yes,  it  is  waiting  for  me  on  the  corner  of  that 
rail :  here  are  the  reins,  May ;  and  hold  them  tight, 
for  Archie 's  antic." 

And  away  Alfred  ran  after  the  fly-away  veil. 
Just  as  he  reached  out  his  hand  to  seize  it,  the  capri 
cious  trifle  fluttered  away  in  a  twinkling  —  first  on 
one  side,  then  on  the  other  —  now  high  above  the 
head,  now  resting  in  a  little  nook ;  but  always  flying 


142  MARION   LESTER. 

from  his  grasp.  Alfred  followed  with  right  good 
will,  and  Cora  and  I  laughed  till  the  tears  ran  down 
our  cheeks  at  the  amusing  chase. 

At  length  he  captured  it  with  a  triumphant  shout, 
and  turned  back,  shaking  the  treacherous  lace  play 
fully  in  air.  His  handsome  face  was  flushed  and 
glowing  with  the  exercise,  and  sparkling  with  mer 
riment. 

I  sat,  looking  backwards,  with  the  reins  lightly  in 
my  left  hand.  Suddenly,  like  the  shriek  of  a  mad 
demon,  the  car-whistle  pierced  our  ears.  We  had 
stopped  a  rod  before  a  railroad  crossing,  and  now  a 
long  train  came  rushing  onward  with  lightning 
speed. 

At  the  first  sound  of  the  whistle  the  pony  threw 
up  his  head,  and  bounded  forward  like  a  deer. 

"  The  cars  are  coming !  "  shouted  Alfred.  "  Hold 
the  horse,  Marion,  —  turn  him  into  the  snow-drift !  " 

But  I  had  no  control  over  the  excited  animal,  and 
we  were  rushing  madly  on  to  destruction. 

"  Good  heavens,  they  are  lost !  0,  my  God  !  my 
God  !  "  groaned  Alfred,  in  agony. 

I  heard  the  runners  grate  upon  the  iron  rails,  —  I 
heard  the  mighty  engine  thundering,  groaning,  crash 
ing,  dashing  onward,  close  upon  us,  with  the  alarm- 
bell  wildly  clanking  in  my  ears.  I  shut  my  eyes 
with  a  smothered  cry  for  mercy ! 

The  next  instant  I  felt  a  slight  shock,  and  was 


MARION  LESTER.  143 

thrown  forward  upon  Cora.  Dizzy,  confused,  almost 
stunned,  though  more  with  terror  than  real  injury, 
I  stood  up  and  looked  around.  Our  sleigh  had  just 
cleared  the  track,  and  Archie  had  run  plump  into  a 
snow-drift ;  this  caused  our  sudden  stop.  The  train 
had  flashed  by,  and  was  now  curving  gracefully  in  the 
distance. 

"  0,  what  a  deliverance  !  Great  God,  I  thank 
thee  !  "  burst  from  my  full  heart. 

Cora  lay  motionless  in  the  bottom  of  the  sleigh.  I 
raised  her  up ;  she  had  nearly  fainted,  but  the  thrill 
ing  words,  "We  are  safe,  Cora!  we  are  safe!" 
instantly  revived  her. 

"  Where  is  Alfred  ?  "  she  whispered. 

At  a  little  distance,  on  the  other  side  of  the  track, 
he  was  half-kneeling  on  the  ground,  with  his  back 
towards  us.  Poor  Alfred  !  he  had  turned  away  that 
he  might  not  see  us  die. 

"  Dear  Alfred !  dear  brother  ! "  we  cried  together, 
"  come  to  us ;  we  are  unhurt,  we  are  both  safe  ! " 

He  slowly  rose,  and  looked  towards  us  like  one 
stupefied.  One  hand  he  pressed  to  his  brow,  the 
other  outstretched  with  a  bewildered  air. 

"Dear,  good  Alfred,  we  are  both  alive!  we  are 
unhurt !  " 

Still  he  stood  like  one  in  a  dream. 

"  0,  Alfred,  don't  you  see  us?" 

Quicker  than  thought,  a  flash  of  intelligence  and 


144  MARION  LESTEE. 

comprehension  passed  over  his  ghastly  face,  and  he 
sprang  forward. 

"You  are  both  saved!  —  Cora,  Marion. — dear 
precious  ones  !  Praise  God  !  Bless  his  name  for 
ever  !  "  and  he  clasped  us  both  in  his  arms,  covering 
us  with  kisses  and  tears. 

"  I  had  turned  away  from  the  sight  of  your  death, 
and  in  that  awful  moment  my  soul  was  struck  dumb 
with  agony.  I  rose,  expecting  to  see  my  loved  ones 
wounded,  bleeding,  dying,  perhaps  already  dead. 
But  you  are  delivered  !  It  seems  like  a  miracle ! 
Let  us  thank  the  Lord  for  his  goodness ! " 

We  were  silent,  and  from  our  hearts  went  up 
deep,  devout  thanksgivings. 

We  were  now  nearly  recovered  from  the  effects  of 
our  fright,  —  all  but  Cora,  who,  still  pale  and  droop 
ing,  lay  in  her  brother's  arms. 

"  What  shall  we  do,  Marion  ?  Cora  is  almost 
frightened  to  death." 

"  Here  is  Mrs.  Hunter's  .house  ;  let  us  go  in  and 
stay  until  she  has  recovered." 

"  That  is  a  good  idea.  I  will  drive  under  the  shed, 
and  cover  Archie  with  a  buffalo,  to  punish  him  for 
this  rascally  trick,  and  leave  him  to  repent  at  leisure, 
while  we  warm  and  rest  ourselves  by  Mrs.  Hunter's 
fire." 

"  I  know  she  will  welcome  us  kindly." 


MARION  LESTEE.  145 

"  0,  here 's  your  veil,  Marion !  I  have  kept  it  safe 
in  spite  of  all." 

I  received  it  almost  remorsefully.  "  0,  the  worth 
less  thing !  the  cause  of  all  our  trouble.  Little, 
spiteful,  capricious  elf!  I'd  give  it  again  to  the 
winds  if  you  had  not  worked  so  hard  to  restore  it  to 
me." 

"  0,  don't  do  that,  May,  as  all  our  troubles  have 
come  out  brightly.  Poor,  innocent,  unconscious 
veil !  "  he  said,  tying  it  over  my  bonnet,  and  bring 
ing  his  face,  into  which  the  color  was  slowly  return 
ing,  close  to  mine.  "  Think  of  nothing  but  your 
providential  escape,  darling.  My  heart  will  never 
cease  to  give  thanks  when  I  remember  this  hour. 
But  here  we  are  at  the  house,  and  good  Mrs.  Hunter 
stands  at  the  door  to  welcome  us." 

The  lady  had  seen  our  danger  and  escape,  with 
mingled  consternation  and  thankfulness,  and  she 
overwhelmed  us  in  one  breath  with  condolence  and 
congratulations. 

0,  horrors,  how  frightened  she  was !  what  a 
narrow  escape  !  how  fortunate,  how  lucky,  we  were, 
and  how  thankful  we  must  be  !  But  she  knew  we 
were  awfully  frightened ;  we  were  all  pale,  and  Cora 
was  white  as  a  sheet. 

"  Come  in,  come  right  in !  Poor  child,  how  you 
tremble  !  Here,  sit  in  my  big  rocking-chair;  and  you, 
10 


146  MARION  LESTER. 

Miss  Marion,  and  Mr.  Eaton,  do  help  yourselves 
to  chairs-  I  'm  so  flustered  I  hardly  know  what 
I'm  about." 

Seeing  our  calmness,  she  soon  regained  her  usual 
equanimity,  and  hurried  up  the  fire  under  the  kettle, 
for  we  must  all  drink  some  tea ;  it  would  be  so  good 
for  our  disordered  nerves.  Alfred  disclaimed  against 
the  need  of  any  tea,  but  the  good  lady  persisted,  and 
he  yielded  for  fear  of  grieving  her.  After  we  were 
well  warmed  he  proposed  going  on  to  the  village  of 
C . 

"Are  you  sufficiently  rested,  Marion?  I  have 

an  errand  at  C ,  and  must  go  on ;  will  you  go 

with  me  ?  " 

I  was  ready  to  go,  and  commenced  tying  my 
hood. 

"  0,  but  my  tea  is  just  ready  to  drink ;  wait  until 
you  have  had  some." 

"  We  will  leave  Cora  to  your  care  until  we  come 
back,"  said  Alfred,  "  and  she  can  drink  the  tea. 
You  really  must  excuse  us  now,  Mrs.  Hunter,  though 
I  thank  you  very  kindly." 

We  left  Cora  in  an  easy-chair,  sipping  her  fra 
grant  hyson,  and  Mrs.  Hunter  expressed  her  pleasure 
in  our  plan  of  leaving  the  dear  girl  an  hour  or  two 

with  her. 

t 

We  were  happy,  though  our  spirits  were  sobered 
and  chastened.  We  talked  of  our  love,  of  our  duties 


MARION   LESTER.  147 

to  each  other,  and  to  the  world.  Not  extravagantly, 
not  in  passionate,  unmeaning  phrases,  did  Alfred  tell 
me  how  much  he  loved  me,  how  he  worshipped  me ; 
not  after  the  fashion  of  novel  heroes,  did  he  call  me 
angel,  goddess,  beauty ;  he  never  once  declared  that 
he  would  die  for  me ;  hut  in  truthful,  earnest  words, 
he  assured  me  of  his  undying  affection  and  interest 
in  my  welfare. 

A  half-hour's  brisk  drive  brought  us  to  the  city- 
like  village  of  C .  "We  rode  directly  to  a  hotel. 

Alfred  called  for  dinner  and  a  private  parlor.  I  was 
soon  seated  in  a  handsome  room.  My  friend  excused 
himself  for  a  little  time,  and  I  sat  alone,  dreaming 
pleasant  dreams ;  still  conscience  whispered,  ' '  You 
have  not  unburdened  your  breast  fully  to  Alfred ;  in 
spite  of  his  perfections  he  yet  lacks  one  thing. 
Tell  him  of  your  fears,  and  hopes,  and  wishes,  con 
cerning  his  spiritual  welfare." 

"Not  yet,  not  yet!"  pleaded  my  fond  heart; 
"  another  time  will  be  better  !  " 

Sooner  than  I  expected,  Alfred  returned.  He 
threw  a  tiny  packet  into  my  lap. 

"  Is  this  for  me,  Alfred?" 

"  It  is  for  my  Marion,  if  she  will  accept  it." 

I  unrolled  it  with  eager  curiosity,  and  an  elegant 
ring  dropped  from  a  little  roll  of  cotton. 

"0,  Alfred,  what  a  beautiful  present !  "  I  turned 
the  little  toy  over  in  my  hand,  admiring  its  beauty 


148  MAKION  LESTER. 

and  richness ;  then,  raising  my  eyes  to  his,  I  let 
them  speak  my  thanks. 

Alfred's  face  was  very  eager  and  smiling.  ':  Put 
it  on  your  finger,  dearest."  I  did  so,  and  playfully 
held  the  hand  up  for  his  inspection.  He  put  it  to 
his  lips.  "Let  it  be  a  sign  of  our  betrothal,  and 
never  take  it  off  while  our  hearts  beat  in  unison/' 

"  Then  I  think  I  must  always  wear  it,  Alfred." 

"  As  long  as  you  live,  May  !  " 

It  was  Alfred's  first  gift,  and  how  significant  in 
my  eyes !  My  girlish  heart  swelled  with  pleasure 
in  the  gift,  and  love  and  tenderness  for  the  giver. 

After  dinner  we  returned  to  Mrs.  Hunter's.  Cora 
had  fully  recovered,  though  not  so  rosy  and  cheery 
as  when  we  started  in  the  morning. 

Mrs.  Hunter  was  all  hospitality.  Alfred  must 
put  pony  in  the  barn,  and  I  must  take  my  things 
right  off;  she  was  going  to  have  a  quilting-party  that 
afternoon,  and  not  a  word  would  she  hear  of  our 
leaving  until  night. 

So  we  consented,  and,  truth  to  tell,  not  much 
against  our  inclinations,  to  stay  and  see  the  quilting- 
frolic.  I  had  scarcely  withdrawn  my  glove  when 
Cora  observed  the  glittering  circles  on  my  finger. 
A  meaning  smile  curved  her  lip  and  danced  in  the 
height  of  her  roguish  eye. 

I  will  not  stop  to  tell  about  the  quilting ;  it  was 
like  all  similar  parties  composed  of  laughing  girls 


MARION   LESTER.  149 

and  sociable  matrons.  The  tea-drinking  was  a  merry 
affair,  but  could  not  be  described,  such  good-natured 
confusion  abounded. 

Just  as  the  sun  hid  his  broad  disk  from  view, 
leaving  long  crimson  streaks  upon  the  white  crests 
of  the  western  hills,  we  bade  adieu  to  our  pleasant 
hostess  and  her  lively  company,  and  started  for 
home. 

Alfred  Eaton  was  received  with  attention  and 
respect  by  many  who  claimed  no  tie  of  affection  or 
consanguinity.  His  sterling  integrity,  fine  talents 
and  acquirements,  were  well  known  and  appreciated 
in  his  native  village. 

He  was  invited  to  lecture  before  the  Lyceum,  quite 
a  literary  and  popular  body.  He  had  been,  since 
boyhood,  a  famous  declaimer,  and  now  the  villagers 
were  anxious  to  hear  a  Lyceum  lecture  from  the 
young  collegian,  about  whom  so  many  pleasing 
prophecies  had  been  spoken. 

Alfred  accepted  the  invitation,  and  consented  to 
address  the  people  the  ensuing  Friday  evening.  He 
shut  himself  up  in  his  study,  and  for  two  days  and 
nights  labored  unremittingly.  When  the  eventful 
night  arrived,  the  hall  was  filled  with  an  intelligent 
and  appreciating  audience.  I  sat  where  I  could  see 
the  changing  play  of  the  speaker's  eloquent  face,  and 
not  a  word  did  I  miss  of  the  instructive,  classic, 


150  MARION   LESTER. 

chaste  oration.  There  was  no  embarrassment,  no 
hesitation,  but  he  was  calm  and  collected  from  be 
ginning  to  end. 

How  proud,  how  rejoiced  I  was  !  Every  burst  of 
applause,  every  whispered  commendation,  caused  my 
heart  to  bound  with  delight. 

When  the  young  orator  descended  from  the  stand, 
many  pressed  round  him  with  congratulations  and 
heartfelt  praises.  Smiling  and  bowing  to  the  right 
and  left,  Alfred  made  his  way  through  the  crowd  to 
where  I  was  standing.  He  read  my  eulogium  in  my 
glistening  eyes. 

"  Your  silent  praises  are  worth  them  all,  my 
Marion !  "  he  whispered,  as  he  drew  my  arm  within 
his. 

"  Alfred  Eaton  is  a  noble  fellow  !  "  said  my  father, 
heartily.  "  A  noble  fellow  !  He  has  a  great  mind, 
a  warm  heart,  and  a  true  soul !  It  is  a  great  satis 
faction  for  me  to  know  that,  when  I  must  give  my 
daughter  into  another's  keeping,  it  will  be  to  one  so 
worthy." 

"  Thank  you,  dear  father,  for  these  praises !  His 
honor  is  my  pride  !  " 

My  cup  of  happiness  was  full  to  the  brim.  My 
heart,  surcharged  with  blissful  emotions,  overflowed 
in  joyful  tears. 


CHAPTER   XIII. 

THE  SEPARATION. 

"  A  little  cloud  arose  to  dim  our  heaven  ; 
Its  shadow  fell  upon  my  frightened  heart,"  — 

****** 
"  0,  foolish  pride  !    0,  spirit  faint  and  weak  ! 
That  would  not  make  one  effort  to  retain, 
Or  with  small  sacrifice  the  treasure  seek 
Thou  wouldst  have  given  thy  life-Hood  to  regain." 

M.  A.  H.  DODD. 

I  DREAMED  strange,  wild  dreams.  Fearful  visions 
crowded  in  upon  my  sleeping  fancies,  and  drove  sweet 
slumber  from  my  eyelids.  I  dreamed  of  sickness,  of 
death,  of  separation  from  the  idol  of  my  young  affec 
tions.  Again  did  Miss  Ingols  breathe  into  my  ear 
the  tale  of  her  fearful  bereavement,  and  I  thought 
my  sorrow  was  like  unto  hers.  Grim  nightmare  held 
my  senses  in  his  crushing  grasp,  cold  sweat  stood 
upon  my  forehead,  my  limbs  were  numb,  my  heart 
chilled  with  terror. 

At  length  I  awoke,  exhausted  and  distressed. 
When  the  first  ray  of  the  Sabbath  morn  peeped  in  at 
my  window,  I  arose,  feverish  and  heart-sick. 


152  MARION   LESTER. 

I  thought  remorsefully  of  the  week  of  light  pleas 
ure  I  had  passed.  How  could  I  be  happy  with  Al 
fred,  knowing  his  danger  and  seeing  his  blindness  ? 
If  I  might  not  instruct  my  parents,  should  a  se 
cret  fear,  a  single  wish  or  hope  of  my  heart,  be 
hidden  from  the  chosen  companion  of  my  life  ?  0, 
no  !  I  had  wronged  him  and  myself  by  this  culpable 
silence. 

I  fell  upon  my  knees,  imploring  divine  forgiveness 
and  assistance,  and,  with  agonizing  prayers  for  the 
salvation  of  my  friend,  I  promised  to  use  all  my 
powers  to  lead  him  to  the  throne  of  mercy. 

0,  if  he  should  die  unconverted !  My  dream 
haunted  my  mind,  and  the  thought  was  agony.  But 
the  lover  of  Miss  Ingols  mocked  at  religion ;  Alfred 
did  not ;  still  he  indulged  a  dreadful  error.  Then  I 
remembered  of  having  heard  Mr.  Delano  say  that  such 
were  even  more  reprehensible  in  the  sight  of  God 
than  open  profaners,  as  they  lead  many  more  astray. 
Even  the  morality  and  integrity  of  their  lives  weigh 
against  them,  for  the  world  would  be  deceived  and 
lost  by  such  appearances.  So  there  was  little  com 
fort  for  me,  save  in  the  hope  that  my  love  and  per 
suasion  would  soften  and  subdue  his  heart. 

When  the  church-bells  rang,  I  peeped  through  the 
shutter.  My  father  and  mother  walked  through  the 
gate,  both  looking  up  wistfully  at  my  window,  as 
though  they  thought  I  might  relent,  even  at  that  late 


MARION   LESTER.  153 

hour,  and  bear  them  company.  My  heart  smote  me, 
and  a  sigh  struggled  up  from  its  depths. 

Then  Alfred  passed  by,  with  Cora  on  his  arm.  He, 
too,  looked  up  longingly,  and  with  a  clouded  face 
went  slowly  on. 

I  drew  back  quickly.  "0,  I  have  a  trial  before 
me  !  But  I  will  be  strong ;  even  friendship  and  love 
shall  not  make  me  waver  !  " 

At  noon  Alfred  called  for  me.  "  Did  you  over 
sleep  yourself,  or  are  you  indisposed,  that  you  did 
not  attend  service  this  morning  ?  "  he  asked,  in  a 
half-bantering  way. 

"  0,  no  !  I  rose  early,  and  I  am  in  usual  health." 

"  Then  you  will  go  with  me  this  afternoon  ?  Cora 
is  too  feeble  to  go  again  to-day.  You  will  allow  me 
the  pleasure  of  your  company  ?  " 

"  Excuse  me,  Alfred,  I  cannot  go  with  you." 

"  Not  when  I  so  much  desire  it,  dear  May?  For 
my  sake  go  just  this  once." 

"  I  am  sorry  to  deny  you,  but  I  cannot  do  other 
wise  without  doing  violence  to  my  convictions  of 
duty." 

".Now  don't  be  whimsical,  Marion  !  Do  put  aside 
your  unnecessary  scruples.  Remember  how  many 
times  we  have  walked  together  to  the  house  of  God. 
Surely  our  happiness  is  at  an  end  if  we  are  always 
to  be  thus  divided.  Dear  Marion,  if  you  love  me,  go 
with  me  now !  " 


154  MARION    LESTER. 

I  hesitated,  almost  overcome  by  his  persuasion. 
Then  the  memory  of  my  morning  -prayer  and  vow 
arose  before  me,  and  I  was  firm  again. 

"  No,  no,  Alfred,  I  cannot  go  !  It  is  in  vain  you 
urge  me." 

"  As  you  please,  Miss  Lester." 

His  brow  flushed  with  mortification,  and  almost 
haughtily  he  walked  away. 

Then  the  waiting  tears  were  permitted  to  fall  un 
restrained,  and  the  victim  of  a  mistaken  and  false 
duty  murmured  that  the  right  path  was  so  rugged 
and  hard  to  tread. 


Evening  came,  and  Alfred  was  again  by  my  side 
in  our  little  back  parlor.  I  had  expected  to  see  a 
slight  coolness,  or  pique,  in  his  manner ;  but  on  the 
contrary  he  was  unusually  affectionate,  though  sober 
and  apparently  preoccupied  in  mind.  I  also  had  a 
subject  which  I  desired  to  approach,  yet  hesitated, 
studying  how  to  do  it  both  delicately  and  pointedly. 

But  Alfred,  with  native  frankness,  almost  abruptly 
broached  the  subject  occupying  both  our  thoughts. 

"  Marion,"'  he  said  earnestly,  yet  gently,  "  I  was 
both  mortified  and  wounded  at  your  refusal  to  gratify 
me  to-day :  yet  I  would  let  it  pass  without  a  word, 
trusting  to  your  generosity  and  good  sense  to  over 
come  these  unworthy  prejudices,  were  it  not  for  the 
sake  of  your  father  and  mother.  Your  vacant  seat 


MARION    LESTER.  155 

looked  mournful  to  me,  Marion ;  and  think  you  not 
your  parents  were  lonely  ?  Their  sorrow  was  written 
on  their  faces.  Their  only  one,  the  child  of  their 
love,  and  upon  whom  they  lavish  their  temporal 
wealth,  and  the  still  richer  wealth  of  their  affections, 
refuses  to  worship  with  them  in  the  temple  of  the 
Lord  !  Is  this  right  ?  Is  it  like  your  affectionate, 
sacrificing  self?  " 

"  Alfred,  I  know  it  grieves  them,  and  it  is  a  sore 
trial  to  me ;  yet  it  is  my  duty,  and  I  do  not  shrink 
from  it." 

"  Your  duty  ?  No,  Marion  !  You  have  an  unfor 
tunate,  mistaken  sense  of  duty.  Your  parents  are 
worthy,  consistent  Christians,  and  even  if  you  deem 
them  embracing  some  wrong  views,  as  there  is  no 
church  of  your  sect  in  the  neighborhood,  what  possi 
ble  harm  can  it  do  you,  or  them,  for  you  to  attend 
divine  service  with  them  ?  " 

"  "What  if  I  believe  them  to  be  in  a  great  error,  a 
fatal  error  ?  " 

"0,  Marion,  your  father  !  —  your  true,  noble,  up 
right,  Christian  father  !  —  he,  whose  unblemished 
life  is  a  monument  of  praise  to  himself,  —  yes,  an 
honor  to  God  !  —  you  question  his  piety,  accuse  him 
of  embracing  fatal  errors,  dangerous  to  Christianity  ! 
0,  Marion  !  "  He  spoke  with  touching  reproach  in 
his  tone. 

"  No,  Alfred,  0,  no  !    I  honor  my  father,  I  love 


156  MARION    LESTER. 

him  !  I  know  he  is  sincere,  true  to  his  convictions, 
the  very  soul  of  honor  !  And  still,  consistently  with 
all  this,  he  may  be  fearfully  mistaken, —  he  may  be 
nursing  delusive  hopes,  resting  secure  in  a  false  doc 
trine.  I  believe  so,  and  this  is  why  I  cannot  worship 
at  the  altar  where  he  bows." 

"And  if  you  do  believe  this,  you  cannot  hope  to 
convince  him  of  his  errors  ;  he  is  already  past  middle 
life,  and  his  religious  faith  is  ingrown  with  his  very 
nature.  You  can  never  convert  him  to  your  posi 
tion.  So,  Marion,  why  not  save  him  this  vexation, 
this  heart-ache  ?  Be  true  to  your  own  loving  heart, 
and  overcome  your  prejudice, — superstition,  I  had 
almost  said." 

"  You  know  I  am  firm  by  nature,  and,  when  con 
vinced  that  a  certain  course  is  right,  am  not  easily 
shaken." 

"  Yes,  my  dear  girl,  I  know  you  have  firmness 
and  decision  of  character  ;  I  know  you  have  no  fluc 
tuating,  credulous  mind ;  and  this  is  why  I  marvel  so 
greatly  at  your  change  of  faith.  This  energy,  this 
self-reliance  I  have  admired  and  loved  in  you  ;  but  let 
not  an  excess  of  this  virtue,  which,  persisted  in,  would 
lose  its  former  charm,  cause  your  own  unhappiness 
and  that  of  all  those  you  love.  Dear  friend,  darling 
Marion,  hear  and  answer  my  petition  !  Abate  your 
firmness  on  this  point.  For  the  sake  of  your  fond 


MARION    LESTER.  157 

parents,  for  my  sake,  whom  you  profess  to  love  more 
than  all,  yield  to  my  request !  " 

His  arms  were  about  me,  and  he  drew  me  closely 
to  his  breast. 

"  Dear  May,  for  the  world  I  would  not  grieve 
you,  as  your  conduct  did  me  to-day  !  I  felt  so  dis 
appointed,  so  lonely !  I  could  not  bear  to  have  it 
always  thus.  If  you  love  me,  if  you  value  my 
happiness,  you  will  never  refuse  me  again.  Only 
meet  me  at  the  sanctuary,  and  I  will  trust  to  the 
future  to  divest  your  mind  of  the  clouds  of  error 
hanging  over  it,  and  then  I  shall  have  my  own  Ma 
rion  back  again,  frank,  joyous,  consistent,  as  when  I 
first  loved  her  !  " 

My  heart  was  melted  ;  I  was  almost  subdued.  My 
head  dropped  upon  his  shoulder  for  a  moment.  Then 
it  seemed  as  though  a  warning  voice  whispered, 
"  Beware,  beware !  do  not  listen  to  Love's  sophis 
tries  !  He  is  catechizing  you,  when  you  should  warn 
and  reprove  him.  Now  is  the  time  ;  be  strong  !  " 

I  withdrew  myself  from  his  embrace,  and  com 
menced  my  defence  with  becoming  dignity. 

"  You  talk  about  my  errors,  prejudices,  and  super 
stition  :  you  hope  I  will  yet  worship  God  by  your 
side  at  the  same  altar  !  Alfred,  that  can  never  be, 
unless  you  go  with  me,  not  I  with  you  !  I  gave  up 
a  mistaken,  unsafe  religion,  for  one  sure  and  stead- 


158  MARION   LESTER. 

fast,  and  the  entreaties  of  those  I  love  best  on  earth 
cannot  wrest  it  from  my  grasp." 

"  God  forbid,  that  my  entreaties  alone  should  give 
you  ground  for  a  religious  faith.  Your  own  reason, 
by  the  light  of  nature  and  revelation,  must  be  your 
guide.  I  was  only  pleading  for  a  little  tolerance,  a 
little  condescension  on  your  part." 

"  Alfred,  if  you  could  only  see  into  my  heart !  I 
am  filled  with  apprehension  for  you,  as  well  as  for  my 
parents.  You  trust  implicitly  in  the  mercy  of  God, 
forgetting  man's  free  agency,  forgetting  the  condi 
tions  !  Let  us  study  the  Bible  together,  that  you 
may  see  the  proof  of  your  mistake  in  the  words  of 
holy  writ." 

"  I  have  studied  the  Bible,  Marion,  enough  to 
know  that  it  reveals  a  loving  Father,  —  to  know  that 
Christ  came  to  proclaim  good  news,  which  shall  be 
unto  all  people ;  but  I  have  not  read  it  enough  to 
purify  my  heart,  and  make  it  all  love,  like  that  of  my 
Divine  Master ;  not  as  much  as  I  ought,  Marion ;  but 
I  will  read  it  the  more :  we  will  study  the  sacred 
pages  together,  and  then,  perhaps,  we  may  be  united 
in  this  respect  as  we  are  in  all  others." 

"I  hope  so,  Alfred!" 

"  You  believe  that  God  is  Love,  and  that  Jesus 
died  alike  for  all?" 

"  Yes ;  but  then  man  is  a  free  agent ;  there  are 
conditions  —  " 


MARION   LESTER.  159 

"  There  are  no  conditions  which  can  alter  God  or 
the  Saviour;  there  are  conditions  "which  cause  the 
temporary  ruin  and  wretchedness  of  sinful  man. 
But,  this  is  my  strength  and  hope,  from  all  this  seem 
ing  evil  good  shall  be  deduced  in  God's  own  time." 

"  It  is  a  beautiful  theory,  I  admit,  but,  alas,  not 
founded  on  the  word  of  divine  truth !  And,  0,  my 
friend,  this  subject  is  a  dangerous  one  to  tamper 
with  !  '  As  a  man  soweth,  so  shall  he  reap.'  ' 

"  True,  very  true,  Marion ;  every  act  of  our  lives 
has  its  proportionate  reward  or  punishment ;  and  this 
reward  or  punishment  is  inherent  in  the  very  action, 
and  inseparable  from  it.  And,  knowing  God  to  be 
wise,  and  merciful,  and  just,  I  rest  happy  in  the 
thought  that  he  is  the  judge  of  man,  not  man  him 
self." 

"  '  As  death  leaves  us,  so  judgment  shall  find 
us  ! '" 

He  almost  disconcerted  me  by  his  quick  glance  of 
surprise. 

"  Be  careful,  Marion,  and  not  quote  the  oft-repeated 
words  of  your  ministers  or  teachers,  imagining  they 
are  the  words  of  holy  writ.  I  did  not  dream  that 
these  dismal  dogmas  had  sunk  so  deeply  in  your 
heart.  I  lament  you  are  so  changed." 

"I  changed!  I  am  not,  only  in  those  things  of 
which  I  had  need ;  and  you,  0,  Alfred,  if  you  were 
changed  in  some  things,  it  might  be  better  !  I  dream 


160  MARION   LESTER. 

of  your  danger  by  night ;  it  haunts  me  by  day ! 
And  now  I  would  warn  you,  I  would  implore  you, 
to  pause  and  think.  I  cannot  find  words  to  tell  my 
inexpressible  anxiety ! " 

Burning  tears  gushed  from  my  eyes,  and  fell  over 
my  face  in  a  shower  of  grief.  Alfred  was  touched. 

"  Forgive  me,  Marion;  I  spoke  too  lightly  of  your 
faith.  0,  indeed,  if  you  believe  it  so  firmly,  I 
wonder  not  at  your  grief!  The  world  must  look 
dark  to  you;  heaven  shrouded  in  a  pall;  and  life 
arid,  bitter,  barren  !  0,1  pity  you,  my  own  love  ! 
I  pity  you  and  pray  for  you  !  " 

"  You  pity  me  !  Well  you  may,  when  I  view  my 
best  loved  ones  on  the  brink  of  endless  ruin  !  Pity 
yourself,  Alfred!  Pity  and  pray  for  yourself!  0, 
what  can  I  say  to  you  ?  How  can  I  open  your  blinded 
eyes?" 

I  was  clasping  my  hands  and  crying  piteously. 

"  Poor  child,  you  are  beside  yourself!  Be  calm  ; 
compose  yourself." 

"  How  can  I  be  calm,  when  I  am  shaken  with 
such  terrible  alarms,  and  you  are  so  cool  and  col 
lected?  Alfred,  I  have  been  outwardly  calm  too 
long,  and  now  the  anxiety  which  has  been  preying 
upon  my  heart,  rises  like  a  torrent  and  overcomes 
me  !  Alfred,  dear  Alfred,  heed  my  words  !  " 

"  What  would  you  have  me  do  ?  Your  vehemence 
distresses  me." 


MARION   LESTER.  161 

"  What  would  I  have  you  do  ?  0,  heavens !  don't 
you  see  your  danger?  Death,  desolation,  separation, 
endless  woe,  unless  you  seek  acceptance  of  Jesus  !  " 

"  Hush,  Marion  !  This  is  very  wrong.  You  are 
highly  excited  with  imaginary  dangers.  I  am  willing 
you  should  talk  with  me,  if  you  will  be  calm,  and 
argue  quietly.  There  is  no  reason  in  these  wild 
rhapsodies." 

I  wept  upon  his  shoulder  until  my  passionate 
emotion  was  exhausted ;  then  I  spoke  again,  but  my 
voice  was  tremulous. 

"  I  know  there  is  no  reason,  no  argument  in  my. 
passionate  entreaties.  To  any  other  one  I  might 
talk  calmly,  and  present  my  arguments ;  but  I  have 
thought  of  your  conversion  so  much,  and  prayed  for 
it  so  constantly,  that  I  am  almost  distracted.  Truly 
as  I  believe  in  your  love  for  me,  I  feel  as  though  I 
were  alone  in  the  universe  until  I  am  assured  of 
your  conversion,  which  will  lead  you  to  the  true 
salvation." 

Alfred  was  silent,  only  tightening  the  pressure  of 
his  arm  about  me.  An  expression  of  sorrowful  per 
plexity  settled  down  upon  his  face. 

"You  have  heard  me  speak  of  my  teacher  and 
friend,  Miss  Ingols  ?  She  made  me  the  confidant  of 
her  grief;  and  that  sorrow  of  hers  has  haunted  me 
ever  since  like  an  awful  warning.  She  loved  when 
she  was  even  younger  than  I.  She  became  a  pro- 
11 


162  MARION  LESTER. 

fessor ;  but  her  lover  mocked  and  despised  religion.  I 
don't  mean  to  compare  him  with  you,  dear  Alfred, — 
of  course  not ;  yet  there  is  a  similarity  which  makes 
me  tremble !  She  pleaded  and  expostulated  with 
him,  and  he  laughed  at  all  she  said,  and  left  her, 
scornfully  denouncing  religion  and  all  its  professors. 
In  a  few  minutes  he  was'  brought  back  to  her  a  life 
less  corpse.  He  was  dead,  and  his  last  words  were 
in  contempt  of  religion.  0,  what  an  awful  bereave 
ment  !  This  black  sorrow  has  sat  upon  her  heart 
ever  since  then,  blighting  every  source  of  happiness. 
Poor,  dear  Miss  Ingols  !  " 

I  had  wrought  myself  up  to  a  high  pitch  of  excite 
ment  by  the  repetition  of  Miss  Ingols'  sorrow,  and  I 
shook  with  convulsive  sobs. 

"What  does  this  prove?"  said  Alfred;  "what 
does  it  prove  ?  Only  that  a  thoughtless,  irreligious 
young  man  was  suddenly  stricken  from  life,  and  man 
pronounced  upon  him  a  fearful  doom  !  His  love  — 
poor,  credulous,  unfortunate  girl ! — believed  that  he 
was  lost,  and  has  been  wretched  ever  since.  0,  't  is 
a  beautiful,  consistent  religion  !  clothing  the  mourn 
ers  in  sackcloth  and  ashes,  and  making  the  heart 
afraid  to  trust  its  beloved  in  the  hands  of  God,  the 
All-merciful  Father !  " 

My  tears  were  quickly  dried.  I  was  piqued. 
Alfred  was  obstinate,  even  daring  to  speak  scornfully 
of  what  was  to  me  a  dreadful  reality. 


MARION   LESTER.  163 

"I  am  to  consider  it  a  great  compliment,  too, 
Marion!  You  hope  to  enjoy  heaven;  I  am  un 
worthy  !  " 

A  flash  of  wounded  feeling  burnt  my  cheek. 

"Now,  Alfred  — " 

"  Excuse  me,  Marion,  do  !  I  was  wrong  to  speak 
so  bitterly.  All  this  talk  will  avail  nothing ;  we  are 
both  getting  nervous ;  so  let  us  always  be  silent  on 
this  subject.  You  have  confidence  in  my  moral 
ity?" 

"  Certainly !  " 

"  Though  I  have  many  faults,  did  you  ever  know 
me  to  do  a  mean  or  dishonorable  action?  In  all  my 
life  did  you  ever  know  me  to  speak  falsely  or  deceive 
any  one?  " 

"Never,  Alfred;  but  why  these  strange  ques 
tions?" 

"Will  not  this  satisfy  you,  my  Marion?  "With 
perfect  confidence  in  my  moral  integrity,  can  you 
not  be  content  to  let  me  worship  God  as  I  think 
right?" 

"  No,  it  will  not  content  me  !  A  ceaseless  fear  for 
your  happiness  would  harass  me.  And  we  are  taught, 
Alfred,  that  the  enlightened,  moral,  influential  man 
has  more  to  answer  for  to  God,  than  a  reckless  sinner, 
if  he  misunderstand  God's  testimony,  and  tells  men 
of  happiness  and  heaven,  when  there  are  ten  thousand 
dangers  and  quicksands  intervening." 


164  MARION   LESTER. 

Alfred  started,  with  a  deep,  indignant  blush  man 
tling  his  brow. 

"This  from  Marion  —  my  Marion!  She  whom 
I  thought  so  generous,  so  delicate  and  ingenuous  !  I 
can  hardly  believe  my  senses  !  0,  you  are  changed, 
every  way  !  You  are  altogether  unlike  your  former 
self  whom  I  learned  to  love  when  a  tiny  girl !  I 
wish  to  mercy  that  obnoxious  school  had  been  blown 
to  the  East  Indies  before  you  were  entered  there ! 
While  in  college  I  bore  insult  and  reproach  for 
opinion's  sake,  but  I  cannot  bear  it  from  you ! 
Marion,  you  are  infatuated,  fanatical !  " 

Now  it  was  my  turn  to  start  with  angry  color. 
Genuine  anxiety  was  extinguished  in  wounded  pride. 
I  turned  my  head  away  inf haughty  silence. 

"0,  Marion,  if  it  should  always  be  thus  !  If  this 
difference  is  never  to  be  done  away,  where  is  our 
promised  happiness  ?  Alas,  I  fear  the  rosy  dreams 
of  hope  are  already  lost  in  a  stern,  cold  reality ! " 

My  heart  started,  like  an  alarm-clock,  with  wild, 
irregular  motion.  The  resentful  flash  had  died  away 
from  Alfred's  face,  and  a  regretful  shadow  veiled  his 
beautiful  eyes.  I  saw  how  I  had  wounded  him,  but 
had  not  he  wounded  me  in  turn?  "Ah,  foolish 
pride !  "  And  so  the  hasty  words  were  not  stayed. 

"There  is  a  remedy,  sir." 

"How?" 

"  Our  engagement,  of  which  you  seem  to  be  weary, 


MARION    LESTER.  165 

can  be  annulled.  If  our  happiness  cannot  be  found 
together,  then  it  must  be  apart !  " 

"  Do  I  hear  you  au-ight  ?  " 

' '  Undoubtedly ;  still  I  can  repeat  it.  We  cannot 
be  happy  together,  for  I  am  firm  in  my  opinion,  you 
obstinate  in  yours.  There  would  be  too  much  fric 
tion  in  such  a  union." 

"  Are  you  in  earnest,  Marion  ?  " 

"Never  more  so  !  " 

He  seized  my  hand,  holding  it  tightly.  "There 
is  truth  in  what  you  say ;  but  is  there  no  other  alter 
native  ?  Cari  we  not  be  indulgent  towards  each 
other?" 

A  nervous  tremor  seized  me,  still  my  unappeased 
anger  hurried  on  the  catastrophe  I  began  to  fear. 

"  It  is  a  subject  of  too  much  moment  to  be  lightly 
set  aside.  I  should  never  cease  my  importunities, 
and  you  would  become  wearied  and  disgusted  with 
them.  If  you  are  determined  not  to  change  your 
religious  faith,  then,  as  I  have  said  before,  we  could 
not  be  happy  together.  You  think  me  changed, 
unworthy  of  your  love  —  we  had  better  part." 

"  Marion,  we  are  both  excited,  let  us  not  do  that 
which  we  should  afterwards  regret.  Think  a  moment 
before  you  speak  again." 

My  frightened  heart  cried:  "Retract!  retract!" 
but  my  wilful,  unruly  tongue,  completely  under  the 
dominion  of  an  adverse  current  of  evil,  said  : 


166  MARION    LESTER. 

"  I  am  perfectly  calm,  sir ;  and  I  am  in  earnest." 

"  Shall  I  take  you  at  your  word,  Marion  ?  " 

"  Certainly,  why  should  you  not?  " 

He  dropped  my  hand  with  a  smothered  groan. 

"  Your  words  have  forever  divided  us  !  Farewell, 
Marion !  " 

He  strode  hastily  away,  only  pausing  a  moment 
with  a  backward  glance  of  anguish  and  reproach. 

There  was  a  quick  revulsion  of  feeling.  I  began 
to  realize  the  import  of  my  passionate,  unguarded 
words.  I  reached  out  my  hands,  and  would  have 
cried,  "Alfred,  stay!  my  own  Alfred!"  but  the 
words  died  inarticulate  upon  my  lips.  The  door 
closed  heavily.  He  was  gone  ! 

And  we  were  parted  —  forever  parted !  so  Alfred 
had  said !  This  was  no  trifling  quarrel,  like  those 
which  had  spiced  our  childish  intercourse;  there 
would  be  no  pretty  "  making  up  "  on  the  morrow  — 
no  sweet  reconciliation. 

"We  were  parted,  and  my  own  unworthy,  hateful 
pride  had  caused  the  rupture !  A  loud  ringing  was 
in  my  ear ;  my  brain  grew  giddy ;  a  sickening 
weight  oppressed  my  heart.  I  tottered  to  the  sofa, 
and  sank  upon  it,  more  dead  than  alive. 

Long  I  lay  there,  realizing  nothing,  only  conscious 
of  a  dull  throbbing  in  my  temples,  and  a  heavy,  vice- 
like  ache,  muffling  the  beating  of  my  heart.  Long  I 


MARION   LESTER.  167 

lay  there,  soul  and  body,  heart  and  spirit,  crushed, 
benumbed. 

At  last  the  dismal  trance  ceased  to  bind  me  with 
its  more  than  iron  fetters,  and  I  came  to  myself  with 
a  long-drawn  sigh  and  an  ague-like  shiver.  The 
candle  had  expired  in  its  socket;  .the  fire  had  long 
since  died  out,  I  knew  by  the  chill  atmosphere  ;  and 
the  starlight  only  revealed  in  dim  outline  surround 
ing  objects.  Slowly  my  faculties  resumed  their 
action  —  memory  first.  I  remembered  everything 
with  a  desolating  sense  of  bereavement. 

What  were  friendship  and  love  to  me  now  ?  Alfred 
was  lost  —  dead  —  0,  worse  than  dead  to  me!  for, 
living,  he  was  not  mine,  and,  sick  or  dying,  I  was  not 
his  to  soothe  and  comfort !  The  thought  was  torture. 
I  could  not  bear  it ! 

And  yet  it  was  best  our  destinies  were  severed. 
Alfred  was  unregenerate,  unconverted,  and  nurs 
ing  the  deadliest  errors.  But  still,  0,  merciful 
Heaven  !  had  I  been  patient,  enduring,  he  might  have 
been  saved  !  And  now  only  the  interposing  arm  of 
the  Almighty  could  avert  his  ruin !  I  wrung  my 
hands,  and  suffocating  moans  bubbled  up  from  my 
agonized  bosom. 

Alfred  was  no  more  to  me  !  We  were  parted  !  My 
own  rash  bands  had  turned  the  sweet  stream  of  hap 
piness  into  the  murky  channel  of  despair.  No 
blessed  tears  came  to  mitigate  the  bitterness  of  this 


168  MARION    LESTER. 

overwhelming  woe.  Prayerless,  tearless,  motionless, 
I  sat  with  clenched  hands,  looking  into  the  appalling 
future. 

I  felt  a  wound  in  my  finger  —  the  hard  edge  of  a 
ring  had  been  goaded  into  the  flesh,  and  slightly  torn 
it.  It  was  the  ring  —  the  ring  given  by  Alfred's 
love  !  lie  had  told  me  to  wear  it  as  long  as  our 
hearts  were  united.  0,  now  it  were  mockery  to  let 
it  remain  upon  the  hand  which  was  no  longer  his  !  I 
tried  to  tear  it  off,  but  in  my  half-frenzied  haste  it 
would  not  move.  To  my  excited  fancy  it  seemed 
riveted,  grown,  upon  my  finger. 

At  that  moment  my  eye  was  caught  by  a  small, 
dark  object  lying  at  my  feet.  I  stooped  to  pick  it 
up,  It  was  a  brown  kid  glove,  which  had  been 
accidentally  dropped  by  Alfred. 

It  sent  a  shock  all  over  me,  like  the  thrill  one  feels 
when  coming  unexpectedly  upon  some  object  worn  by 
the  dear  departed.  The  touch  overcame  me ;  I  was 
dissolved  in  tears,  —  salutary  tears ;  they  saved  my 
senses  from  delirium,  my  heart  from  perfect  blight. 

I  was  brought  to  my  reason,  and,  covering  the 
dear  glove  with  kisses,  I  groped  up  stairs  to  my 
chamber.  Gently,  almost  reverently,  as  though  it 
were  indeed  a  token  of  the  dead !  I  drew  the  ring 
from  my  finger,  and  laid  it,  with  the  glove,  in  a  small 
box,  and  turned  the  key  upon  them. 


MARION    LESTER.  169 

Already  was  the  sky  streaked  with  the  glory  of 
coming  day,  yet  it  was  midnight  in  my  breast.  I 
threw  myself  upon  my  bed,  weeping  and  praying  for 
comfort,  and  strength  to  bear  me  up. 


CHAPTER    XIV. 

THE   APPEAL. 

"  WHAT  have  you  done  to  Alfred,  Marion  ?  " 

I  could  not  restrain  a  convulsive  start,  but,  with  a 
powerful  effort  at  self-control,  I  said,  calmly,  "Is 
there  anything  the  matter  with  him,  father? " 

"I  met  him,  a  few  minutes  ago,  on  the  street, 
looking  wretchedly  pale  and  sick.  I  asked  what 
ailed  him.  He  smiled,  a  ghastly  sort  of  smile,  and 
said  he  had  no  bodily  ailment,  as  he  knew  of.  He 
was  hurrying  to  the  depot  to  take  the  western  train. 
He  would  not  tell  me  the  cause  of  his  sudden  start, 
nor  where  he  was  going,  nor  when  he  should  come 
back.  Altogether,  he  acted  more  like  a  crazy  boy, 
than  a  sensible  man.  Perhaps  I  am  wrong,  my 
daughter,  in  connecting  the  cause  of  his  unaccount 
able  behavior  with  yourself?  Am  I  so  ?  " 

"  How  can  I  tell  ?  and  yet,  perhaps,  you  are 
right." 

He  looked  into  my  face  searchingly.  ':  Is  it  pos 
sible  that  you  have  trifled  with  that  young  man? 


MAKION    LESTEE.  171 

that,  for  opinion's  sake,  you  have  broken  off  your 
engagement  with  him  ?  " 

"  Yes,  father,  our  engagement  is  annulled,  and  it 
is  best  so.  With  such  difference  of  opinion  we  could 
never  be  happy  together." 

My  father's  face  wore  an  expression  of  stern  and 
sorrowful  reproach.  "  Your  religion,  as  you  call  it, 
has  darkened  and  overshadowed  your  young  life  ;  it 
has  brought  sorrow  and  perplexity  into  the  hearts  of 
your  parents ;  and  now  it  bids  you  tamper  with  your 
own  heart's  deepest  affections,  —  to  lightly  throw  aside 
the  love  of  one  worthy  and  true.  Marion,  what 
strange  perversity  is  this  !  It  passes  my  comprehen 
sion  —  this  infatuation  !  " 

I  clutched  at  a  chair  for  support,  for  I  was  shak 
ing  from  head  to  foot.  The  anguish  against  which  I 
was  battling,  must  have  been  written  on  my  changing 
features,  for  he  looked  at  me  until  his  expression 
softened  and  tears  rushed  to  his  eyes. 

"0,  my  dear,  unfortunate  child  !  you  are  more  to 
be  pitied  than  blamed.  Your  understanding  is 
clouded,  your  reason  perverted.  You  sport  with 
your  desires,  and  fling  away  happiness.  May  the 
Lord  God  make  his  face  to  shine  upon  you  !  may  he 
be  your  guide  and  teacher !  for,  I,  alas,  can  do 
nothing  for  you,  deep  and  yearning  as  is  my  love  !" 

I  could  bear  no  more,  and,  turning  abruptly,  I 
sought  my  own  chamber.  At  first  it  seemed  that 


172  MARION   LESTER. 

the  tide  of  painful  emotions  rushing  over  my  soul 
must  find  vent  in  a  storm  of  sobs  and  tears.  But 
"  No,  no  !  "  I  said,  in  self-command,  "  tears  are  tell 
tales."  I  crushed  down  mj  eyelids  to  keep  back  the 
burning  tears ;  I  pressed  both  hands  tightly  upon  my 
bosom  to  subdue  the  quivering  sobs,  and  soon  the 
tempest  was  lulled,  and  outward  calm  prevailed. 

There  is,  in  every  woman's  nature,  growing  up 
beside  her  love,  a  certain  pride,  delicate  and  peculiar. 
It  seeks  to  conceal  from  the  world  the  evidences  of 
her  affection;  and  when  her  heart  knows  grief  or  dis 
appointment,  then  all  her  endurance  is  put  in  requisi 
tion  to  hide,  even  from  the  eye  of  the  dearest  friends, 
the  sorrow  preying  within.  Every  expression  of 
emotion  is  delayed  until  the  stricken  one  is  alone 
with  night  and  her  grief. 

Thus  it  was  with  me.  I  felt  that  my  happiness 
was  wrecked,  that  my  dream-castle  was  shattered, 
come  to  naught.  But  within  my  own  heart  must  be 
hidden  the  bitter  regret,  and  night  alone  witness  the 
swelling  tears. 

As  I  sat  there,  mutely  overlooking  the  past,  Cora 
entered  Avithout  knocking.  She  was  very  pale ;  her 
eyes  were  swollen,  and  looked  as  though  their  beau 
tiful  lustre  had  been  washed  away  by  many  tears. 

"  Cora,  I  am  happy  to  see  you;  take  my  easy- 
chair." 


MARION   LESTER.  173 

She  sat  down  without  speaking,  looked  at  me 
reproachfully,  then  suddenly  burst  into  tears. 

"  What  is  the  trouble,  darling?  "  I  asked,  bracing 
my  nerves,  for  I  guessed  her  affliction. 

"  0,"  she  sobbed,  "  Alfred  acts  so  strangely  !  He 
has  gone  off  somewhere,  and  I  don't  know  how  long 
he  will  stay.  I  shall  be  so  lonely,  so  homesick  with 
out  him!" 

"  Don't  worry  about  it.  dear.  It  is  some  business, 
perhaps,  and  he  will  come  home  soon." 

She  removed  her  handkerchief  from  her  face,  and 
looked  at  me  again.  "  Marion,  don't  you  know  why 
he  has  gone  ?  He  is  in  trouble,  —  0,  don't  you  know 
what  it  is  ?  He  would  go  off,  in  spite  of  all  my  en 
treaties,  and  he  strained  me  to  his  breast,  and  called 
me  his  only  darling,  his  only  friend  !  What  did  he 
mean,  Marion  ?  Can  it  be  possible  —  tell  me,  is  it 
true,  that  you  have  taken  back  the  vows  you  gave 
him,  because  he  does  not  think  just  as  we  do  on  reli 
gion,  —  because  his  opinion  is  not  like  yours?" 

"  Cora,"  I  said,  trying  to  speak  steadily,  "  Alfred 
and  I  had  a  long  talk  Sunday  night.  We  found  that 
we  could  never  agree  on  the  subject  of  religion  ;  we 
both  thought  we  never  could  be  happy  together,  and 
—  and  I  said  —  we  concluded  we  had  better  part." 

"  That 's  it !  I  knew  it  was  that !  "  cried  Cora, 
nervously.  "  Alfred  is  n't  a  convert ;  so  you  think 
he  is  n't  good  enough  for  you.  You  think  he  is  a 


174  MARION   LESTER. 

wicked,  unregenerate  sinner,  and  so  you  cast  him  off, 
—  my  dear,  good  brother  Alfred !  0,  Marion,  how 
could  you  !  It  is  not  like  you  —  you  did  not  mean 
it!" 

"  How  sensitive  you  are,  Cora  !  If  Alfred  and  I 
agree  to  disagree,  and  are  contented  to  be  parted,  why 
should  you  take  on  so  ?  " 

"  It  is  the  greatest  wish  of  my  heart  to  see  you 
the  bride  of  my  brother,  dear  sister  May ;  and  if 
truly  you  and  Alfred  were  content  to  be  parted,  I 
should  be  unhappy.  But  you  must  have  discharged 
Alfred,  for  he  is  so  wretched  !  0,  Marion,  he  loves 
you  so  fondly  !  How  can  he  ever  get  over  his  disap 
pointment  ?  And  we  had  all  planned  so  much  hap 
piness  together  !  I  was  to  be  your  own  sister,  and 
you  was  to  nurse  me  so  tenderly  when  I  am  ill ;  and 
if  I  should  die,  I  thought  Alfred  would  have  you  left 
to  love  him ;  and  now —  now  it  is  all  over,  and  I 
shall  have  no  sister,  and  when  I  die  he  will  be  left 
alone !  " 

She  flung  herself  into  my  arms,  drowned  in  tears, 
while  my  own  fell  upon  her  golden  tresses. 

"  I  can  tell  you  how  it  was,"  she  said,  between 
her  sobs ;  "  you  argued  until  you  both  became  excited, 
and  then  there  was  a  lover's  quarrel.  Now,  May, 
can't  you  make  it  up  ?  Alfred  will  come  back,  and 
you  will  receive  him  kindly?  Do  say  you  will, 
Marion !  " 


MARION  LESTER.  175 

She  looked  up  with  a  pleading  expression  upon  her 
sweet  face. 

"  I  shall  always  receive  Alfred  kindly,  of  course  ; 
but  there  will  be  no  making  up,  as  you  call  it ;  he 
would  not  wish  it.  any  more  than  I.  I  can  be  your 
sister,  though,  and  will  nurse  you  when  sick,  just  as 
much  as  though  I  were  Alfred's  bride ;  and  all  for 
love  for  your  darling  self." 

"You  can't  make  me  think  Alfred  is  satisfied. 
Didn't  I  see  his  sorrow?  —  0,  how  his  heart  must 
ache,  poor,  dear  Alfred  !  "  She  fell  to  crying  again. 
Her  tender,  loving  heart  was  filled  with  sympathetic 
sorrow. 

"  I  thought  you  loved  Alfred,  Marion." 

"  And  I  did,  most  truly." 

"  Did  !  — then  it  is  past ;  your  love  is  turned  to 
hate?" 

"  0,  Cora,  don't,  don't  talk  so  !  " 

"  Did  I  hurt  you  ?  I  didn't  mean  to.  And  Ma 
rion,  you  surely  do  love  him  still  !  I  know  it  by 
your  looks.  Your  lips  are  very  white  and  quivering, 
and  you  press  your  hands  over  your  heart.  0,  you 
will  be  true  to  this  heart !  you  will  recall  Alfred  by 
renewed  promises  of  love  !  " 

"  Cora,  I  have  pride  as  well  as  love.  Shall  I 
recall  a  lost  lover?  " 

"But  you  will  let  me  do  it,  Marion?  A  little  hint, 


176  MARION   LESTER. 

a  very  little  one,  and  he  will  come  back  rejoicing. 
Do  say  I  may  !  " 

"  Cora,  I  forbid  you  !  Not  the  least  word,  not 
the  slightest  hint  of  such  a  thing !  If  I  knew  I 
should  never  see  another  happy  moment,  I  would  not 
so  demean  myself." 

"  Dear  Marion,  let  me  persuade  you  !  I  will  write 
to  Alfred,  and  tell  him  I  fancy  you  will  smile  upon 
his  return.  Such  a  gentle  hint  as  that  would  not 
demean  you,  May ;  it  would  be  only  foolish  little 
Cora  who  gave  it,  and  he  would  think  it  all  right." 

"  Never,  Cora;  never  write  like  that !  I  tell  you 
it  is  better  as  it  is.  Our  religious  opinions  are  so 
unlike  !  He  will  soon  find  another  more  worthy  of 
his  love,  and  I  —  I  shall  in  time,  perhaps,  learn  to 
be  happy  without  him." 

My  self-control  was  giving  way.  Cora's  agitation 
induced  a  violent  fit  of  coughing,  which  suspended 
her  entreaties.  As  soon  as  she  could  speak,  she 
began  again : 

"  It  is  all  pride,  nothing  but  pride;  and  though  it 
may  be  very  honorable,  I  cannot  think  it  right  when 
it  comes  before  your  happiness,  and  that  of  one  so 
good  and  true  as  Alfred.  Look  at  me,  May.  See 
how  my  flesh  has  wasted  away.  I  fear  I  am  very 
unwell,  and  I  know  I  am  growing  worse  instead  of 
better.  You  have  driven  my  only  brother  away  from 
me,  and  my  home  is  so  lonely  !  Do  you  love  your 


MARION  LESTER.  177 

poor  orphan  friend  ?    If  you  do,  you  will  make  me 
happy  when  it  is  so  easy  a  thing  !  " 

Deeply  affected,  I  drew  the  weeping  girl  to  my 
breast.  "  My  darling  Cora,  I  would  sacrifice  much 
to  make  you  happy,  but  this  which  you  ask  is  impos 
sible.  If  Alfred  himself  were  by  my  side  this  mo 
ment,  with  words  of  love  and  reconciliation  on  his 
lips,  I  would  not  hear  them ;  at  least,  I  would  only 
promise  him  my  friendship.  Now  that  this  rupture 
has  occurred,  much  as  I  regret  it,  I  will  never  be  any 
thing  more  to  Alfred,  until  he  is  convinced  of  his 
mistaken  belief,  and  gives  strong  evidence  of  a  hope 
ful  conversion." 

"  0,  Marion,  Marion ! "  began  Cora,  but  a  par 
oxysm  of  coughing  checked  her  words.  Cough, 
cough,  cough !  0,  such  a  suffocating,  harrowing 
cough  !  It  struck  a  knell  through  my  heart.  She 
leaned  back  in  my  arms  struggling  and  gasping  for 
breath  ;  fighting  with  all  her  feeble  strength  against 
that  incessant,  dreadful,  merciless  cough !  Every 
selfish  emotion  was  now  lost  in  intense  anxiety  for  my 
distressed  friend.  I  was  on  the  point  of  calling  on 
my  mother  for  help,  when  the  spasm  ceased ;  a  fear 
ful  pallor  overspread  her  face,  and  the  handkerchief 
she  removed  from  her  lips  was  deeply  stained  with 
crimson.  I  could  scarce  suppress  a  shriek  of  terror. 
I  laid  her  down  upon  the  lounge  where  we  had  been 
sitting,  and  ran  in  haste  for  my  mother. 
12 


178  MARION   LESTER. 

I  found  her,  and  implored  her  to  hurry  to  Cora's 
side.  The  poor  girl  lay  just  as  I  had  left  her ;  she 
had  fainted,  and  her  handkerchief,  saturated  with  her 
life-blood,  had  dropped  to  the  floor. 

I  was  panic-struck,  and  walked  back  and  forth, 
vainly  crying,  "What  shall  we  do?  0.  what  shall 
we  do?"  But  mother,  though  shocked,  was  self- 
possessed  ;  she  sent  her  maid  for  a  doctor,  and  set 
about  restoring  animation  to  the  death-like  figure 
before  her. 

Cora's  aunt  Fanny  came,  filled  with  fond  alarm, 
and  all  night  did  they  watch  by  the  darling  girl.  In 
the  morning,  with  the  utmost  caution,  she  was  carried 
.home,  and  laid  on  the  bed  in  her  own  beautiful  cham 
ber.  Not  whiter  than  her  cheek  was  the  snowy  dra 
pery  surrounding  her,  and,  as  I  gazed  upon  her  with 
a  failing  heart,  I  felt  that  health's  roses  would  never 
bloom  again  for  her. 


CHAPTER  XV. 

CORA'S  ILLLESS. 

"And  all  our  thoughts  ran  into  tears, 
And  all  our  hopes  turned  into  fears, 
And  sunshine  into  dismal  rain  !  " 

BEAUTIFUL  COKA — graceful,  merry,  joyous  Cora 
—  tender,  loving,  grieving  Cora  —  was  quickly  and 
surely  passing  away.  There  was  little  more  of  earth 
for  her,  but  a  few  days,  at  best.  So  said  the  physician, 
turning  mournfully  away. 

Insidious  disease  had  long  been  preying  upon  her 
vitals,  and  now  a  short  and  rapid  decline  would  end 
the  struggle  with  life.  Great  God,  must  this  be ! 
must  one  upon  whom  our  hearts  lavish  such  wealth 
of  love,  be  borne  forever  from  our  sight?  Must 
death  breathe  upon  her  loveliness,  and  quench  the 
light  of  her  eye,  and  chill  her  heart,  and  stiffen  her 
limbs  ?  Yes,  it  must  -be ;  earthly  love  can  only 
watch  around  her  pillow,  hoping  and  fearing,  waiting 
and  praying,  until  the  Jordan  is  passed,  and  the 
victory  is  won. 


180  MARION    LESTER. 

She  lay  day  after  day,  scarcely  speaking,  with  her 
violet  eyes  open  and  fixed,  and  a  mournful  expression 
ever  deepening  in  them.  0,  it  was  inexpressibly  sad 
to  watch  the  going-out  of  that  young  life  !  And  day 
by  day,  and  hour  by  hour,  she  faded  before  our  eyes, 
seemingly  as  fast  as  a  snow-wreath  melts  beneath  the 
sun's  warm  rays. 

Cora  was  attended  by  fond  and  faithful  nurses : 
her  aunt,  who  was  a  gentle,  motherly  woman ;  and  I, 
who  devoted  my  whole  time  to  my  sick  friend ;  and, 
lastly,  her  brother  with  the  most  assiduous  and  touch 
ing  kindness  hovered  round  her  couch. 

Alfred  .had  been  immediately  recalled,  and  he  came 
stricken  with  grief.  We  met  daily  by  the  couch  of 
our  loved  one,  with  a  quiet  "good-morning,"  or  "good- 
evening,"  nothing  more  being  ever  exchanged  between 
us,  unless  it  were  some  remark  pertaining  to  the  sick 
room.  Our  eyes  never  met,  except  with  a  quick, 
passing  glance,  and  even  that  would  start  my  heart 
into  a  painful  beating. 

Cora  seemed  unconscious  of  the  change,  or  to  have 
forgotten  there  had  ever  been  any.  I  was  thankful 
for  that,  and  was  careful  that  nothing  should  remmd 
her  of  it 

I  knew  Alfred  still  loved  me,  and  my  heart  never 
beat  more  fondly  for  him.  The  most  constant  watch 
fulness  and  composure  of  manner  on  my  part  only, 
preserved  the  barrier  of  coldness  and  constraint  un- 


MARION    LESTER.  181 

broken.  I  was  partly  sustained  by  pride,  and  partly 
by  an  undefined  yet  delicious  "hope.  I  was  unshaken 
in  my  determination  never  to  unbend  towards  him 
until  he  had  acknowledged  the  falsity  of  his  position. 
If  he  loved  me  as  I  believed,  and  having  lost  me, 
might  he  not  be  led  to  study  upon  the  subject  of  our 
difference ;  and,  pondering  upon  it,  might  not  he  be 
brought  out  of  darkness  into  light  ?  Our  separation 
might  in  the  end  result  in  his  salvation  and  my  own 
rejoicing.  These  thoughts  comforted  me ;  this  hope 
was  the  only  star  I  could  discern  in  my  overclouded 
horizon. 

Alfred  asked  Cora's  permission  to  invite  the  Rev. 
Mr.  Whitney  to  call  upon  her,  and  she  passively 
acquiesced,  as  she  did  to  every  proposal.  Mr.  Whit 
ney  came,  and,  in  spite  of  myself,  I  inwardly  confessed 
that  his  manners  and  conversation  were  very  becoming 
in  a  religious  teacher  beside  the  bed  of  sickness.  He 
was  cheerful,  yet  subdued,  and  his  voice  took  a  pecu 
liarly  sweet  and  gentle  intonation.  He  seemed  to 
know  just  what  to  say,  and  exactly  how  to  say  it.  It 
was  plain  he  had  often  stood  as  counsel  and  comforter 
to  the  sick  and  dying. 

He  remained  some  time,  and  yet  Cora  seemed  re 
freshed  instead  of  being  wearied.  He  appeared  to 
leave  a  soothing  influence  behind,  which  ministered  to 
us  all. 

One  day  I  found  Cora  alone.     She  was  reclining 


182  MARION   LESTER. 

in  a  large  cushioned  chair  surrounded  by  pillows. 
She  wore  a  tasteful  muslin  wrapper,  and  her  golden 
hair  lay  in  native  luxuriance  upon  her  shoulder.  The 
hectic  burned  upon  her  cheek,  and  a  painful,  intense 
light  streamed  from  her  eyes. 

I  bent  over  her  tenderly.  "  I  am  glad  to  see  you 
off  that  tiresome  bed.  Are  you  better,  darling?  " 

The  invalid  slightly  s-hook  her  head,  and  closed  her 
eyes.  Tears,  like  crushed  pearls,  glistened  on  her 
lashes.  "  No,  no,"  she  said,  in  touching  accents,  "  I 
am  not  better  —  I  never  shall  be !  I  shall  die,  I 
know  it,  Marion  !  Young  as  I  am,  I  must  leave  this 
bright,  beautiful  world.  0,  Marion,  how  can  I  bear 
to  die,  so  young,  so  unprepared  !  " 

She  covered  her  face  and  wept.  I  took  up  one  little 
transparent  hand,  and  kissed  it  many  times  with  deep 
emotion. 

"My  own  Cora,  I  cannot  deceive  you;  we  can 
keep  you  but  a  little  while.  It  is  hard  to  die  so 
young,  and  God  knows  how  our  hearts  are  wrung  at 
the  thought  of  separation.  But  I  would  that  you  were 
resigned.  Can  you  not  fix  your  mind  upon  the 
green,  immortal  shores  ?  Let  hope  give  you  a  fore 
taste  of  that  heaven  you  are  so  soon  to  enjoy." 

She  uncovered  her  eyes,  and  looked  at  me  with  an 
expression  which  startled  me. 

"  Marion,  you  believe  I  have  a  hope  in  Jesus.  Alas, 
alas,  it  is  not  so !  I  am  unworthy,  unaccepted  of 


MARION    LESTEE.  183 

God.  I  was  baptized,  I  joined  the  church,  and  sat  at 
the  communion-table ;  but  I  was  unworthy.  I  was 
afraid  to  do  otherwise.  It  was  fear  of  hell,  not  love 
of  God,  which  actuated  me.  Will  such  conversion 
satisfy  the  Almighty?  Will  Jesus  accept  such  repent 
ance  ?  0,  no,  no,  no !  Now  death  is  beckoning  me 
away  ;  I  have  no  rock  of  safety ;  Jesus  is  far  from 
me!  " 

I  was  dreadfully  shocked  at  this  confession,  but 
soon  rallied.  Cora  had  little  self-esteem,  and  no  self- 
reliance  ;  her  mind  was  weakened,  as  well  as  her  body; 
she  undervalued  herself,  and  was  distressed  by  un 
necessary  fears.  Thus  I  thought,  and  tried  to  soothe 
and  assure  the  sick  girl. 

But  she  heeded  no  words  of  comfort,  and  piteously 
besought  me  to  show  her  the  way  of  salvation  —  to  tell 
her  how  to  be  saved —  to  tell  her  what  she  should  do 
to  reconcile  God  to  her. 

"  0,  Cora,  darling  !  don't  you  know  the  way?  It 
is  Jesus.  Pray  to  him,  and  he  will  lead  you." 

"I  do  pray,  0,  so  fervently!  But  Jesus  seems  a 
great  way  off,  and  I  am  afraid  that 's  why  he  will  not 
hear  my  prayer.  0,  MarioD,  the  valley  of  the  shadow 
of  death  is  dark  to  me,  and  I  am  afraid,  I  am  afraid 
to  tread  therein  !  " 

Aunt  Fanny  now  came  in,  and,  seeing  the  excite 
ment  of  her  patient,  removed  her  to  her  bed,  and 
enjoined  the  strictest  silence  upon  me. 


184  MARION  LESTER. 

That  was  the  longest  and  saddest  day  I  passed.  It 
was  dreadful  to  have  Cora  so  unreconciled.  And  was 
it  possible  that  Christ  was  indeed  far  from  her? 
Every  pulsation  of  my  heart  was  a  prayer  that  He 
would  light  the  way  to  her  feet,  and  give  her  a  sure 
and  genuine  hope. 

The  next  morning  I  was  detained  from  her  bedside 
until  a  late  hour.  I  found  her  very  tranquil.  "  Our 
friend  Mary,  Mrs.  Whitney,  has  been  here,"  she  said, 
"and  she  talks  so  comforting!  Her  words  seemed 
like  medicine  to  my  heart." 

"I  am  very  glad  you  enjoyed  her  call,  dear  one." 

"  She  has  promised  to  spend  an  hour  with  me  every 
morning,  and  I  am  very  glad  of  it." 

I  was  pleased  for  the  sake  of  my  friend,  and  yet, 
obeying  a  feeling  I  did  not  really  understand,  I  de 
layed  going  to  see  Cora,  every  morning,  until  after 
Mrs.  Whitney  had  made  her  call. 

Both  the  minister  and  his  wife  became  frequent  and 
welcome  visitors.  Cora  seemed  to  love  the  sound  of 
their  voices.  Their  influence  over  her  was  wonderful ; 
she  became  serene  and  even  cheerful,  and  at  length 
could  speak  of  death  with  quiet  resignation. 

Though  vexed  with  misgivings,  I  could  not  but  be 
grateful.  My  cherished  friend  was  nearing  the  river 
of  death,  the  dark  waves  were  rolling  at  her  feet. 
But  each  hour  her  heart  grew  stronger,  and  she  smiled 
more  brightly  upon  us.  Jesus  had  heard  her  prayer ; 


MARION    LESTER.  185 

and,  trusting  in  Him,  she  was  undismayed,  for  He 
would  lead  her  safely  through. 

Thus  she  descended  into  the  valley,  calmly  and 
peacefully.  Love  waited  upon  every  motion,  and 
unseen  bands  of  angels  were  hovering  near,  ready  to 
guide  her  across  the  waters ! 


CHAPTER  XVI. 

THE  SLEEP. 
"  He  giveth  his  beloved  sleep."  —  PSALMS  cxxvii.  2. 

"  Of  all  the  thoughts  of  God,  that  are 
Born  inward  into  souls  afar, 

Along  the  psalmist's  music  deep, 
Now  tell  me  if  there  any  is, 
For  gift  or  grace,  surpassing  this  — 
'  He  giveth  his  beloved  sleep.'  " 

ELIZABETH  B.  BROWNING. 

WATCHING  and  grief  had  made  me  nearly  ill,  and 
so  one  morning  I  rested,  and  did  not  visit  Cora  until 
afternoon.  As  I  entered  her  chamber,  I  felt  intui 
tively  that  "  the  hour  was  nigh  at  hand." 

A  mysterious  brightness  veiled  the  young  girl's 
face,  and  peace  breathed  forth  from  her  smile.  Dis 
ease  had  dealt  kindly  with  her  loveliness.  Though  the 
roundness  of  health  had  departed,  there  was  no  ghostly 
sharpness  of  outline  in  her  features  or  limbs.  Her 
beauty  seemed  etherealized  —  ten-fold  intensified  ! 
The  waves  of  her  magnificent  hair  were  spread  over 
the  pillow,  and  the  pearly  brow  beneath  appeared  the 


MAKION    LESTER.  187 

abode  of  quietness  and  rest.  She  folded  her  hands 
upon  her  breast,  and  lay  there  like  an  exquisitely 
sculptured  image  of  Patience  and  Hope. 

Some  distance  from  the  foot  of  the  bed,  Alfred 
paced  softly  back  and  forth,  with  the  lines  of  deep 
sorrow  written  on  his  brow.  How  I  longed  to  breathe 
into  his  ear  a  word  of  love  and  comfort} 

Good  aunt  Fanny  sat  on  one  side  of  the  couch,  and 
on  the  other  Mary  Whitney  with  her  placid  face  and 
voice  of  music.  There  was  a  hush  on  every  heart, 
and,  in  silvery  accents,  she  took  up  a  strain  of  heavenly 
consolation.  She  read : 

"  '  Let  not  your  heart  be  troubled :  ye  believe  in 
God,  believe  also  in  me. 

"  '  In  my  Father's  house  are  many  mansions-;  if  it 
were  not  so,  I  would  have  told  you.  I  go  to  prepare 
a  place  for  you.'  " 

"What  a  trusting  smile  parted  Cora's  lips !  The 
words  of  the  Divine  Comforter  were  ministering 
spirits  to  her  soul.  And,  as  Mary  read  on,  a  look  of 
holy  placidity  deepened  on  her  face. 

Awe-struck,  I  held  my  breath,  lest  the  sacred  spell 
should  be  broken. 

There  was  a  gentle  ringing  of  the  door-bell,  and  a 
sound  of  footsteps  below.  Aunt  Fanny  left  her  seat 
and  went  down  stairs  noiselessly.  She  came  back 
with  a  companion,  and  I  heard  her  say,  before  opening 


188  MARION   LESTER. 

the  door,  "  She  is  very  low,  and  cannot  bear  much 
conversation." 

It  was  Mr.  Delano.  Rejoiced  to  see  him  then  and 
there,  I  held  out  my  hand,  which  was  taken  with  a 
cordial  pressure.  I  introduced  him  to  Alfred,  who 
bowed  without  speaking. 

"  I  was  passing  through  your  place,"  said  Mr. 
Delano,  "  and  hearing  that  your  sister,  a  dear  young 
friend,  and  a  lamb  of  my  flock,  was  ill,  I  felt  it  to  be 
my  privilege  to  call  upon  her." 

Alfred  bowed  again.  "You  are  welcome,  sir; 
please  be  seated  ;  "  and  he  continued  his  melancholy 
walk  up  and  down  the  room. 

Mr.  Delano  approached  the  bedside.  A  shadow 
flitted  across  the  invalid's  placid  brow,  yet  she  smiled 
a  welcome,  and  tried  to  raise  her  feeble  hand.  He 
took  it  in  his,  and  said,  "  I  am  grateful  for  the  priv 
ilege  of  seeing  you  again,  my  dear  girl." 

She  smiled  again,  but  her  sweet  serenity  was  dis 
turbed.  His  presence  seemed  to  awaken  painful 
associations. 

"  When  the  shores  of  life  are  receding,  it  is  pleas 
ant  to  know  that  the  pilgrim  is  a  Christian,  and  hath 
the  promise  of  salvation.  Is  your  heart  calm,  and 
your  mind  prepared  for  the  change  awaiting  it  ?  " 

"  Yes,"  she  whispered  faintly;  but  in  that  moment 
the  angelic  brightness  of  her  countenance  was  hidden, 
and  lost  in  the  gathering  shadows  of  anxiety.  Her 


MARION  LESTER.  189 

eyes  roved  restlessly  from  his  face  to  mine,  and  from 
me  to  Alfred. 

I  began  to  regret  Mr.  Delano's  presence,  and  men-, 
tally  to  reproach  him.  Perhaps  others  might  need 
such  questions ;  but  why  should  he  disturb  the  dying 
hour  of  one  so  innocent  and  child-like  ?  What  little 
she  lacked  I  felt  would  be  graciously  overlooked  by 
the  heavenly  Judge.  She  was  almost  an  angel  now  ! 

But  the  reverend  gentleman,  unconscious  of  my 
mental  ejaculations,  went  on  in  his  conversation. 

"  I  am  happy  to  hear  your  answer,"  he  said  ;  "I 
believed  it  would  be  so.  I  was  sure  your  professions 
were  real,  and  your  conversion  of  God.  It  is  the 
hope  of  life  through  Jesus  that  sustains  you  now. 
Like  a  young  Christian  you  repose  in  His  arms." 

A  look  of  wild  alarm  shot  across  her  features,  and 
she  cried  out  with  unnatural  strength,  l(  0,  you  have 
waked  me  from  a  dream  of  false  security  !  Alas,  I 
am  unworthy  to  be  called  a  Christian  !  My  profes 
sions  were  but  mockery,  for  it  was  fear  which  actu 
ated  me.  I  thought  more  of  hell,  than  God,  or 
heaven !  " 

"  Sir,"  said  Mrs.  Whitney,  "  you  are  disturbing 
our  invalid.  I  beg  you  to  drop  the  exciting  subject. 
Her  mind  has  been  tossed  with  fears  and  doubts,  and 
now  the  love  of  God  has  given  her  peace." 

"  Madam,  she  is  a  lamb  of  my  flock ;  she  received 
the  baptism  at  my  hands,  and  I  have  a  sacred  right 


190  MARION    LESTER. 

to  question  her  relative  to  her  religious  experience. 
From  her  language  I  am  led  to  fear  that  she  has 
fallen  from  her  high  estate.  She  acknowledges  that 
she  has  been  reposing  in  a  false  security,  and  it  is 
well  that  she  is  awakened  to  a  true  sense  of  her  con 
dition  before  it  is  too  late." 

"  Too  late  !  0,  is  it  too  late  ?  "  cried  Cora  in  a 
piercing  voice.  ' '  Help  me,  help  me,  or  I  shall  perish  !  " 

"  Pray  to  God,  believe  in  Jesus,  and  he  will  help 
you." 

"  0,  I  remember  everything  now  !  Your  presence 
brings  back  those  dreadful,  dreadful  days !  I  thought 
I  had  found  peace  at  last,  —  I  thought  heaven  was 
close  at  hand,  —  but  you  have  awakened  me  from 
that  delusive  dream.  0,  it  is  dark,  dark  to  me  !  " 

I  wanted  to  fly  to  Mr.  Delano,  and  push  him  from 
her  bedside ;  but  I  felt  as  if  bound  hand  and  foot. 
0,  why  did  not  Alfred  heed  what  was  going  on  ?  How 
could  he  keep  pacing  back  and  forth,  so  deaf  to  every 
thing? 

She  threw  up  her  hands  wildly,  and  tossed  from 
side  to  side  with  almost  supernatural  strength.  It 
was  the  energy  of  despair. 

"  Save  me,  save  me  !  "  she  cried ;  "  you  pray  to 
God  for  me,  for  I  am  afraid.  0,  it  is  so  dark,  and  I 
am  dying !  0,  I  'm  afraid,  I  'm  afraid  to  die ! 
Won't  anybody  help  me  ?  Can't  you  pray  for  me  ?  " 

"  I  will  pray  for  you,  poor,  misguided  child." 


MARION   LESTER.  191 

"  Do,  0  do  !  for  I  am  dying,  dying,  and  there  's 
no  light  there  !  " 

Alfred  turned  quickly ;  his  mind  had  been  in 
drawn,  but  he  began  to  comprehend  the  scene.  With 
an  authoritative  gesture  he  said,  "  Mr.  Delano,  is  this 
your  mission,  to  distract  the  dying  ?  Let  my  poor 
sister  rest  in  quiet." 

"  What  is  the  quietness  of  an  hour  to  an  eternity 
of  unrest  ?  " 

"0,  Alfred,  dear  Alfred!  do  help  me,  for  I  am 
afraid  !  " 

"  Peace,  sir  !  " 

Alfred  spoke  in  a  deep,  impressive  tone.  Mr.  Del 
ano  withdrew  to  the  window,  with  a  haughty  and 
injured  air,  and  Alfred  bent  tenderly  over  his  beloved 
sister. 

"  Cora,  darling  sister,  there's  nothing  to  be  afraid 
of.  I  am  with  you." 

"  But  you  can't  save  me  from  the  wrath  of  God. 
Nothing  can,  for  I  am  foredoomed  !  0,  why  was  I 
born,  to  die  so  young,  and  so  unprepared?  I  am 
afraid  !  I  am  afraid  !  " 

She  covered  her  eyes  with  her  hands,  as  if  to  shut 
out  some  baleful  vision,  while  a  visible  shudder 
thrilled  her  frame.  This  great  agitation  threatened 
a  speedy  dissolution ;  and,  merciful  Heaven  !  would 
her  last  words  be  a  shriek  of  despair  !  Sick  and 
faint  with  terror,  I  leaned  upon  the  table  for  support. 


192  MARION   LESTER. 

Alfred  burst  into  a  wail  of  agony.  "  Mrs.  Whit 
ney,  comfort  her  if  you  can  !  I  cannot  speak  to  her." 
Saying  this  he  resumed  his  monotonous  walking,  and 
weeping  as  if  broken-hearted. 

'Mrs.  Whitney  began  to  make  gentle,  mesmeric 
passed  over  Cora's  head  and  shoulder,  meanwhile 
repeating  comforting  passages  of  Scripture.  But  the 
agonized  girl  continued  her  moan,  "  I  am  afraid !  I 
am  afraid !  " 

At  this  crisis  Mr.  Whitney  came  in.  Observing 
Cora's  agitation,  he  looked  round  inquiringly.  ' '  What 
is  the  matter  with  the  dear  girl  ?  Why  is  she  so  dis 
tressed?" 

No  one  answered.  His  eye  fell  upon  Mr.  Delano, 
and  I  read  in  a  glance  that  he  comprehended  it  now. 

"  Mr.  Whitney,  Mr.  Delano,  the  minister  who 
baptized  our  Cora,"  said  aunt  Fanny  between  her 
sobs. 

Both  gentlemen  bowed  slightly. 

"  Mr.  Whitney,  you  are  good  and  kind ;  you  will 
help  me  !  Show  me  how  I  can  be  saved  !  ' '  cried 
Cora. 

"  Calm  yourself,  my  sweet  girl ;  there,  let  me 
smooth  your  pillow,  and  lay  your  head  upon  it. 
Don't  you  feel  better  now?  "  The  wild,  half-maniac 
expression  softened  on  her  face,  and  she  shut  her  eyes 
with  a  succession  of  quivering  sobs. 

Highly  as  I  regarded  Mr.  Delano,  and  in  spite  of 


MARION  LESTER.  193 

my  prejudice  against  the  sentiments  of  Mr.  Whitney, 
I  felt  that  the  latter  was  best  adapted  to  give  comfort 
to  my  dying  friend. 

Cora  spoke  again  in  plaintive,  heart-touching  tones, 
"  I  am  going  to  die,  and  I  have  not  reconciled  God  to 
me.  Dear  sir,  do  tell  me  how  to  die  so  that  he  will 
receive  and  love  me !  " 

"  Nay,  poor  child,  it  is  you  who  are  unreconciled, 
not  God.  He  is  unchangeable  love.  Fear  not  to 
trust  your  soul  in  his  hands.  '  He  so  loved  the  world 
that  he  gave  his  only  begotten  Son,  that  the  world 
through  him  might  be  saved.'  Paul  says,  '  For  I  am 
persuaded  that  neither  death,  nor  life,  nor  angels,  nor 
principalities,  nor  powers,  nor  things  present,  nor 
things  to  come,  nor  height,  nor  depth,  nor  any  other 
creature,  shall  be  able  to  separate  us  from  the  love 
of  God,  which  is  in  Jesus  Christ  our  Lord.' ;: 

"  0,  tell  me  more,  tell  me  more !  "  she  murmured, 
pleadingly. 

"  'He  will  swallow  up  death  in  victory,  and  the 
Lord  shall  wipe  away  all  tears  from  off  all  faces.' 
'  He  that  loveth  not,  knoweth  not  God,  for  God  is 
love.'  '  There  is  no  fear  in  love ;  but  perfect  love 
casteth  out  fear.'  '  We  love  him,  because  he  first 
loved  us.'  Trust  in  God's  love,  Cora ;  trust  in  Christ's 
saving  power !  " 

"  'T  is  sweet  to  hear  your  words ;  they  soothe  me ; 
they  soften  this  dreadful  fear,  and  yet  I  am  perplexed. 
13 


194  MARION  LESTER. 

Others  tell  of  hell,  and  vengeance,  and  fearful  retri 
bution.  I  am  still  afraid  to  die  !  " 

Great  tears  gushed  over  her  wan  face.  I  groaned 
in  anguish  of  spirit. 

"  Cora,  shall  I  pray  to  God  to  send  you  this  holy 
Comforter,  and  give  you  peace? " 

"  Yes,  0,  yes ;  for  I  need  it  sorely !  " 

Mr.  Whitney  had  knelt,  and  we  were  about  to  fol 
low  his  example,  when  Cora  beckoned  to  Mr.  Delano, 
saying  sweetly,  "  You  will  join  us,  my  friend  ?  " 

He  hesitated ;  his  proud  heart  rebelled.  But  the 
pale,  spiritual  face,  with  its  pleading  gaze,  overcame 
him.  He  could  not  resist  the  appeal  of  one  standing 
at  the  shadowy  portal  of  death.  He  came  forward  a 
few  paces  and  fell  upon  his  knees.  A  satisfied  smile 
flitted  across  Cora's  face ;  she  folded  her  hands 
devoutly. 

I  tried  to  raise  my  thoughts  to  Heaven,  but  strange 
and  conflicting  emotions  warred  upon  each  other  in 
my  aching  breast. 

The  words  and  tone  of  the  pastor  breathed  over  my 
soul  with  a  subduing  power :  — 

"  Our  Heavenly  Father !  " 

The  moisture  stole  beneath  my  eyelids,  and  my 
spirit  cried,  "  Our  Heavenly  Father  !  " 

Eloquently,  fervently,  he  prayed ;  touchingly  sim 
ple,  thrillingly  earnest,  was  the  petition  borne  up  to 


MARION  LESTER.  195 

the  Father's  ear.     I  felt  a  portion  of  the  blessing  he 
craved  fall  like  scented  dew  upon  my  heart. 

I  rose  to  my  feet,  comforted  and  strengthened. 
Alfred  still  knelt,  with  his  face  hidden  in  the  bed 
clothes. 

Cora  slept,  so  like  an  image  of  death  one  might 
have  thought  the  spirit  really  flown,  but  for  the 
slight  undulation  of  her  bosom.  The  tranquil  bright 
ness  I  had  before  observed  illuminated  the  beautiful 
face. 

Mute,  motionless,  scarcely  breathing,  we  stood 
around  her  bed-side.  Methought  if  her  spirit  floated 
away  on  that  balmy  slumber,  it  were  a  sweet  way  to 
die.  Yet  my  heart  yearned  to  see  once  more  the  light 
of  those  curtained  eyes,  and  to  hear  her  voice  assur 
ing  us  that  she  died  in  peace. 

Mr.  Delano  stood  at  a  little  distance,  with  a 
gloomy,  almost  sullen,  gathering  of  his  brows.  Al 
fred  did  not  change  his  humble  position.  I  longed 
to  kneel  by  his  side,  and  mingle  my  tears  with  his, 
that  our  mutual  grief  might  be  assuaged  by  sympa 
thy.  But  that  was  not  my  privilege.  I  could  not 
intrude  upon  his  sorrow,  remembering  how  I  had 
wronged  him. 

As  I  gazed  upon  the  sleeper's  face,  a  change  came 
over  it,  —  a  chill,  dark  shadow,  —  unmistakably,  un 
deniably  the  shadow  of  death's  wing.  A  suppressed 


196  MARION   LESTER. 

cry  rose  to  my  lips.  The  watchers  by  that  couch 
exchanged  startled,  grieving  glances. 

Anon  another  change  ;  a  softly-dawning  smile 
parted  her  lips.  She  slowly  unclosed  her  eyes,  like 
one  awakening  from  a  delicious  dream.  A  heavenly 
lustre  transfigured  her  face,  like  the  face  of  an  angel. 

"  I  'm  not  afraid  now  !  "  Sweet  as  the  harp's  music 
stole  those  words  into  my  soul. 

"  I  'm  not  afraid  now  !  " 

She  looked  upon  us  with  an  enlightened,  compre 
hending  gaze.  Her  spirit,  partly  disenthralled,  saw 
and  understood  the  mystery  of  life  and  death. 

She  spoke  clearly,  and  without  pain  or  weakness. 

"  I  thought  I  was  borne  to  the  gates  of  heaven  on 
the  wings  of  that  prayer.  I  heard  heavenly  voices, 
I  seemed  filled  with  light,  and  a  thrill  of  unutterable 
joy  pervaded  my  soul.  I  'm  not  afraid  to  die  !  God  is 
my  Father  !  I  feel  it !  I  know  it !  " 

Alfred  sprang  to  his  feet,  and  bent  forward,  listen 
ing  to  her  transporting  words. 

"Dear  Mr.  and  Mrs.  Whitney,"  continued  the 
dying  one,  with  sweet  tranquillity,  "  I  bless  you  for 
your  love  and  kindness  ;  and,  when  you  are  nearing 
the  shores  of  eternity,  may  you  be  cheered  by  the 
gracious  assurance  which  makes  my  dying  pillow  the 
portal  of  heaven. 

"  And,  dear  aunt  Fanny,  don't  cry ;  I  am  going 


MARION   LESTER.  197 

home !  I  will  watch  over  you  and  love  you  in  heaven. 
Good-by  till  we  meet  there  !  " 

The  good  lady  pressed  the  extended  hand  to  her 
heart,  and  turned  away  in  an  agony  of  tears. 

"  Mr.  Delano," — the  gentleman  drew  near, — "  if 
any  should  ask  how  Cora  died,  tell  them  the  All- 
Father  breathed  upon  her  departing  spirit ;  tell  them 
I  died  believing,  knowing  that  the  love  of  God  is 
sufficient  for  us  all !  Farewell,  dear  sir,  and  the 
Lord  grant  that  your  faith  may  become  enlarged  and 
purified  ! 

"  And  now,  my  brother,  my  sister,  I  must  bid  you 
farewell."  The  others  drew  back,  and  Alfred  and  I 
stood  by  her  pillow.  "  Alfred,  I  know  you  will 
mourn  for  me,  but  not  without  hope.  Your  blessed 
faith  will  sustain  you,  and  in  time  you  can  speak 
cheerfully  of  my  departure.  I  will  be  your  guardian 
spirit,  if  the  Father  is  willing.  Wipe  your  eyes,  my 
own  Marion.  If  you  felt  what  I  feel,  and  knew  what 
I  know,  you  would  rejoice  rather  than  weep.  You 
recollect  all  my  painful  struggles,  and  doubts,  and 
fears ;  you  realize  in  your  own  heart  the  gloomy 
shadows  which  our  religious  faith  created.  0,  Ma 
rion,  God  is  love  !  I  would  I  could  make  you  feel  it 
as  the  Father  himself  hath  revealed  it  unto  me.  3T  is 
a  fearful  thing  to  limit  the  love  of  God,  or  the  saving 
power  of  Christ !  My  dear  sister,  study  the  word 


198  MARION  LESTER. 

of  God,  study  nature,  and  these  things  "will  be  clear 
to  your  mind. 

"  Comfort  Alfred,  Marion,  for  he  will  be  lonely. 
0, 1  remember,  a  cloud  has  come  between  you !  That 
should  not  be.  Marion,  lay  your  hand  in  Alfred's, 
that  I  may  die  feeling  that  my  two  dearest  ones  are 
united.  Dear  Marion,  do  it  for  my  sake  !  " 

I  looked  at  Alfred.  The  language  of  his  eyes 
were,  "  For  Cora's  sake ;  — I  will  require  nothing  of 
you,  only  gratify  our  beloved  by  placing  your  hand 
in  mine." 

My  eyes  answered  his  in  similar  words.  I  laid  my 
hand  passively  in  his  open  palm ;  it  received  no  pres 
sure.  I  began  to  tremble  from  the  intensity  of  my 
double  grief,  and  would  have  fallen  but  for  a  power 
ful  effort  of  will. 

Cora's  eyes  lighted  with  joyful  affection.  "  It  is 
well,"  she  whispered ;  "  may  your  hearts  be  united 
as  are  now  your  hands.  Bless  you,  bless  you,  dear 
ones  !  " 

Her  fictitious  strength  was  fast  ebbing  away.  She 
looked  around  with  a  faint  smile,  and  then  appeared 
to  sleep. 

Suddenly  she  started,  crying  rapturously,  "Mother, 
I  come  !  0,  peace — joy  —  heaven  !  " 

The  upraised  hand  fell  lightly  on  the  counterpane. 
Her  spirit  had  flown !  But  the  impress  of  celestial 
joy  seemed  left  upon  the  still,  marble  face. 


MARION   LESTER.  199 

Alfred's  tears  rained  upon  the  pearly  brow.  "  She 
has  fallen  asleep  at  last !  "  he  murmured. 

"  Yes,  she  sweetly  sleeps  in  the  Father's  arms  !  " 
said  Mr.  Whitney,  reverently. 


CHAPTER   XVII. 

ARTHUR'S  PASSION  AND  INFIDELITY. 

"  Darkness  and  void  !  no  future  !  not  a  ray 
Of  welcome  light !  a  cold,  chill  night, 

Lacking  the  break  of  day  ! 
An  ending  of  the  whole  career  ; 
A  fatal  stopping-place  in  life's  swift  race  ; 
A  mingling  of  cold  clay,  without  a  cheering  ray 

Of  hope  !  nipped  at  life's  birth  !  " 

WE  laid  our  Cora  by  her  mother's  side  in  the 
church-yard.  The  softly-falling  snow  soon  covered 
the  hallowed  mound.  There  is  an  inexpressible  des 
olation  in  the  thought  of  leaving  our  beloved  alone  in 
earth's  wintry  bosom,  with  the  snow  piled  high  above 
the  lately-glowing  heart,  and  the  chill  winds  shriek 
ing  above  the  dreamless  bed.  I  knew  her  spirit  was 
rejoicing  in  light,  and  yet  my  soul  was  so  earth-bound, 
I  could  only  think  of  her  as  lying  shrouded  and  coffined 
in  the  damp,  dark  grave. 

A  pall  hung  before  my  eyes  ;  it  shut  out  the  light 
of  heaven,  and  blackened  the  sweet  phases  of  social 
life.  My  bereaved  heart  mourned  the  death  of  two, 


MARION    LESTER.  201 

for  now  was  Alfred  truly  lost  to  me.  Immediately 
after  the  funeral  he  had  left  the  place,  and  the  fairy 
cottage,  lately  so  happy  a  home,  was  left  untenanted 
and  alone. 

It  looked  so  mournful  to  me,  that  closed  and 
empty  house  !  The  sight  of  it  augmented  my  misery, 
and  so  I  fastened  my  window-blinds,  and  shut  myself 
up  in  my  own  room,  a  prey  to  gloomy  sorrow. 

The  fond  endearments  of  my  parents  had  no  power 
to  assuage  my  grief,  and  my  religion  was  too  dead 
to  revive  the  energies  of  my  crushed  and  bleeding 
heart. 

Late  one  afternoon  I  thought  to  indulge  my  mel 
ancholy  by  visiting  Cora's  grave.  I  threw  on  a  bon 
net  and  shawl,  and  passed  out  unnoticed  by  any  of 
the  family.  The  sky  was  black  with  gathering  clouds, 
and  fierce  gusts  of  wind  bowed  the  naked  branches 
of  the  trees.  I  heeded  not  the  weather,  —  or,  rather, 
liked  it,  it  accorded  so  well  with  my  mental  atmos 
phere. 

As  I  neared  the  spot,  a  form  arose  from  the  grave. 
I  was  retreating  in  alarm,  when  a  well-known  voice 
arrested  my  steps.  "  Marion  Lester,  do  not  be 
alarmed.  Have  not  I  the  same  right  to  weep  over 
this  dust  that  you  have  ?  " 

The  voice  was  that  of  Arthur  Willis  ;  but  I  .could 
hardly  believe  the  worn  and  haggard  face,  and  wildly- 
gleaming  eyes,  and  long  hair,  and  disordered  dress, 


202  MARION   LESTER. 

could  belong  to  that  elegant  and  fastidious  young 
man. 

"  Arthur  Willis,  how  came  you  here  ?  why  came 
you  here  ?  It  is  inexplicable  to  me." 

He  dropped  down  wearily  upon  the  ground,  and 
clasped  his  hands  about  his  knees,  with  such  a  look 
of  utter  despair,  that  I  felt  my  bitter  sorrow  was  sur 
passed  by  his. 

"  You  wonder  why  I  am  here,"  said  he  in  a  plain 
tive  monotone;  "but  you  never  knew  how  I  loved 
her ;  she  never  dreamed  of  it ;  I  hardly  knew  it  my 
self  !  I  loved  her,  adored  her  !  beautiful,  angelic 
Cora  !  I  looked  upon  her  as  a  superior  being,  as  she 
really  was.  The  ground  she  trod  upon  was  sacred  to 
me ;  the  air  she  breathed  perfumed  to  my  senses ; 
and  her  face  and  smile,  how  they  are  pictured  in  my 
heart !  " 

He  bowed  his  head  upon  his  knees,  and  was  silent 
a  moment,  then  looked  up  with  a  stern  and  wild 
expression. 

"  I  never  told  her  I  loved  her.  but  I  meant  to 
when  the  world  should  smile  more  brightly  on  me, 
and  then  we  were  to  dwell  in  an  Eden  together.  Now 
she  is  dead  !  Her  lovely  form  and  angelic  face,  her 
loving  heart  and  priceless  mind,  are  all  blighted  to 
gether  !  She  is  dead  !  Don't  you  see  the  sun  can 
not  shine  through  the  clouds  of  mourning  ?  At  night 
the  stars  will  be  lost  in  gloom,  for  she  lies  cold  and 


MARION   LESTER.  203 

still !  Hear  the  wailing  of  the  winds !  It  is  for 
beauteous  Cora  !  0,  I  would  the  sun  might  never 
shine  again ;  that  the  stars  would  ever  hide  their 
faces ;  that  nature  would  never  come  to  life  in  spring 
time  again  —  for  Cora  is  gone  forever  !  0,  Cora, 
Cora,  that  I  were  lying  by  your  side,  and  then  I  'd 
care  not  whether  summer  or  winter,  flowers  or  frost, 
reigned  above  us  !  " 

Filled  with  dismay  and  surprise,  I  strove  to  find 
words  to  comfort  the  half-demented  young  man. 
The  poignancy  of  my  sorrow  was  softened  and  almost 
forgotten  in  sympathy  for  the  wretched  one  before 
me. 

"  Arthur,  it  is  dreadful  to  part  with  our  beloved 
Cora ;  but  there  is  hope  in  Jesus.  She  is  not  dead, 
but  risen  to  a  better  and  higher  life." 

"  Don't  tell  me  that !  "  he  cried,  sharply ;  "  I  know 
better.  There  is  no  heaven  nor  hell,  —  no  future  ! 
Death  is  an  endless  sleep,  and  I  would  it  had  fallen 
upon  me  now  !  " 

"  Have  you  forgotten  the  revelation  of  God  ?  " 

"  Don't  talk  to  me  of  God  !  I  tell  you  there  is  no 
God  ! " 

I  began  to  doubt  his  sanity,  and  looked  at  him  in 
pitying  silence. 

"  Once  I  thought  there  was  a  God,  "but  I  know 
better  now.  The  God  men  worship  is  a  fickle, 
changeful  God,  loving  and  hating,  blessing  and  curs- 


204  MARION   LESTER. 

ing,  just  like  man.      Men  are  fools  to  quarrel  about 
a  being  that  is  not." 

"Now,  Arthur,  you  cannot  mean  what  you  say. 
I  don't  believe  you  are  in  earnest !  " 

A  bitter,  mocking  smile  wreathed  his  lips.  "  De 
luded  girl,  I  tell  you  there  is  no  God !  The  chaos, 
the  discord,  the  sins  and  sufferings  of  life,  all  deny 
the  existence  of  a  Supreme  Being.  Call  it  all  nature, 
or  chance,  or  what  you  please,  for  I  tell  you  there  is 
no  controlling,  ruling  spirit ;  else  why  would  the 
good  and  lovely  be  cut  down  in  the  morning,  and  the 
wretched  and  sinful  live  on  until  night  ?  0,  Cora  ! 
Cora ! "  he  cried,  being  again  overcome  with  the 
tiding  waves  of  grief,  "thou  art  no  more  forever! 
Never,  never  shall  I  see  thee  again  !  Oblivion,  night, 
has  fallen  on  thy  glorious  beauty  !  " 

Again  that  look  of  wild  and  stern  despair.  His 
hands  were  clenched,  his  teeth  set,  and  his  eyes 
gleamed  with  an  unnatural  light. 

I  was   struck  with   horror.      "It   is   a  dreadful 
thought  —  annihilation  —  no  God  —  no  heaven  !  — 
Arthur,  your  trouble  has  unsettled  your  mind.     0, 
study  the  precepts  of  Christ ;  seek  religion,  and  you 
will  behold  light  beyond  the  darkness." 

He  rose  to  his  feet  with  a  threatening  air.  "  Re 
ligion  !"  he  hissed  through  his  teeth,  "religion! 
it  is  a  curse,  a  blight !  Don't  speak  the  word  beside 
her  grave ! " 


MARION    LESTER.  205 

Somewhat  intimidated,  I  drew  back  a  few  steps. 
"  0,  Arthur,  Cora  loved  religion.  She  was  a  Chris 
tian." 

"And  didn't  it  kill  her?  didn't  it  kill  her? 
Shall  I  seek  what  withered  the  life  in  the  heart  of 
my  love  ?  Never  !  I  will  hunt  it  down !  I  will 
annihilate  it  if  I  can  !  —  Religion  !  I  will  tell  you 
the  history  of  it  with  me.  When  I  was  a  child,  a 
mere  babe,  the  word  was  a  bugbear  to  me.  I  must 
get  religion,  or  hell  would  get  me  ;  I  must  love  God, 
or  he  would  hate  me.  And,  when  I  became  a  man, 
I  thought  to  devote  my  life  to  the  saving  of  my  fel 
low-creatures  ;  my  heart  was  full  of  high  purposes 
and  pitying  compassion.  But  because  I  used  my 
reason  a  little,  instead  of  the  creed,  I  was  put  down 
by  religionists,  and  prematurely  driven  from  their 
ranks  by  persecution.  This  was  enough  to  destroy 
my  confidence ;  but  I  saw  more.  Did  n't  that  revi 
val  bring  clouds,  and  darkness,  and  fears?  Didn't 
the  young  and  joyous  become  sad  and  gloomy  as  they 
became  religious  ? 

' £  And  you,  Marion  Lester,  were  a  frank,  ingen 
uous,  happy  girl ;  but  religion  spoiled  you.  Your 
charming  vivacity  was  lost ;  you  grew  cold,  haughty, 
and  self-righteous. 

"  And  Cora !  her  smile  was  light,  her  voice 
melody !  0,  my  heart  burned  within  me  as  I 
saw  the  blight  fall  on  her  !  Her  smile  faded,  her 


206  MARION  LESTER. 

voice  became  low  and  plaintive,  and  her  music-laugh 
drowned  in  tears !  These  are  the  effects  of  that 
religion  which  you  bid  me  seek  !  " 

"  This  is  heresy  !  Arthur,  think  of  your  state  at 
the  judgment-day,  if  you  persist  in  this  dreadful 
belief." 

He  leaned  towards  me.  and  whispered,  "  They- say 
she  is  doomed,  and,  if  so,  I  will  be  doomed  too ! 
Heaven  would  be  hell  without  her ;  hell  would  be 
made  happy  by  her  presence  !  Dr.  Severe  told  me 
she  was  dead ;  that  she  had  renounced  religion,  re 
tracted  her  professions,  and  died  without  a  hope.  He 
said  she  was  doomed !  His  horrible  words  made  me 
what  I  am  !  My  heart  is  withered,  my  brain  is 
afire." 

The  winter  winds  pierced  me  through,  but  his 
words  penetrated  to  the  very  core  of  my  heart.  A 
superstitious  fear  oppressed  me.  The  tall  head-stones 
loomed  up  grimly  in  the  gathering  shades  of  night. 
The  glaring  eyes  of  the  insane  man  paralyzed  me ; 
my  teeth  chattered  and  my  limbs  trembled.  I  would 
have  refuted  his  dreadful  words ;  I  tried  to  tell  him 
Cora  died  in  peace ;  but  my  tongue  refused  its  office. 

Arthur  sank  down  upon  the  ground  again.  "  Go 
away,  Marion  Lester,  go  away !  You  do  not  pity 
me ;  you  disturb  me.  Let  me  weep  alone  by  Cora's 
grave.  Cora !  Cora !  —  but  she  does  not  hear  me  — 
never  can ! " 


MARION  LESTER.  207 

He  threw  himself  upon  her  grave  with  a  bitter 
wail. 

I  glided  away  with  fleet  steps,  leaving  that  wreck 
of  intellect  and  manhood  grovelling  in  despair.  This 
was  the  last  drop  in  my  cup  of  agony,  and  I  could 
bear  no  more.  My  senses  seemed  leaving  me,  and, 
as  I  sped  along,  I  wildly  prayed  that  my  reason 
might  not  be  dethroned. 

My  parents  were  anxiously  waiting  for  me,  but  I 
brushed  by  them,  and  ran  up  stairs  into  my  chamber. 
I  shut  the  door  and  knelt  by  my  bed.  It  was  the 
attitude  of  prayer ;  but  vainly,  for  a  time,  did  I  in 
voke  its  spirit 

Passion,  fear,  grief,  and  awakening  doubts,  rioted 
in  my  tortured  brain.  Long  I  knelt  there,  until  a 
quietness  came  over  me,  and  I  could  review  the 
strange  words  of  Arthur.  He  said  religion  had 
spoiled  me,  made  me  cold,  proud,  and  self-righteous. 
Was  it  possible  that  religion  had  done  this?  I 
studied  the  past,  and  conscience  arose  with  a  thou 
sand  stings.  0,  truly  I  had  nursed  the  empty  form 
of  religion,  when  the  beautiful  spirit,  which  should 
be  indwelling,  was  unacknowledged  and  unfelt ! 

Tears  gushed  from  my  eyes,  and  I  fervently  im 
plored  divine  forgiveness,  assistance  and  guidance. 

Still  I  retained  my  position,  for  I  became  too  weak 
to  rise,  and  my  head  grew  giddy  with  sickening  pain. 
I  dimly  remember  the  presence  of  my  mother,  and 


208  MARION  LESTER. 

how  I  was  raised  up  and  placed  in  bed.  I  felt  a  burn 
ing,  rushing  sensation  in  all  my  veins ;  a  feeling  of 
oppression  and  weakness  came  over  me,  and  all  con 
sciousness  was  lost.  A  long  blank  followed. 


When  memory  and  reason  resumed  their  empire,  I 
lay  upon  my  pillow,  helpless  as  a  new-born  babe. 
I  could  not  raise  my  hand  or  turn  my  weary  head. 
I  had  been  oblivious  for  many  days  ;  I  knew  it  by 
the  thin,  pale  features  of  my  mother,  bending  fondly 
over  me;  I  knew  it  by  the  added  lines  on  my 
father's  brow,  and  the  sad  expression  of  his  face. 

I  asked  no  questions,  but  immediately  relapsed 
into  a  dreamy  slumber.  Gradually  the  life-powers 
rallied;  the  nourishment  placed  to  my  lips  was 
grateful  to  my  taste,  and  an  eloquent  eye,  and,  now 
and  then,  a  feeble  word,  expressed  thanks  for  the 
constant  and  unremitting  attentions  of  affection. 

Then  came  sweet  Mary  Whitney,  with  step  soft  as 
the  falling  snow-flake,  and  her  low  and  tender  tones. 
Her  refreshing  presence  was  a  cordial  to  my  heart. 
Then  Mr.  Whitney  was  admitted  to  my  chamber,  — 
cheerful,  genial,  fresh  as  the  morning.  He  always 
brought  in  sunshine  with  him,  and  left  a  bright  ray 
for  a  token  of  his  return. 

As  I  grew  stronger  the  memory  of  my  sorrows 
returned  with  added  power,  and  I  was  continually 
trying  to  analyze  the  counter  elements  which  had 


MARION   LESTER.  209 

rent  my  heart  and  blunted  my  understanding.  Ar 
thur's  words  rung  in  my  ears,  —  "  Religion  spoiled 
you;  you  became  self-righteous."  My  eyes  were 
opened  to  my  real  position  as  a  Christian.  I  had 
been  too  much  of  a  sectarian  —  too  self-willed  for  a 
follower  of  Christ.  I  had  been  intolerant  of  opinion, 
narrow  and  selfish  in  my  views.  I  began  to  realize 
how  deeply  I  had  wronged  Alfred  Eaton ;  how  I  had 
wounded  the  hearts  of  my  parents. 

I  was  filled  with  contrition,  and  resolved  to  be 
more  yielding  and  compliant.  Still,  the  all-impor 
tant  question  of  man's  future  destiny  agitated  my 
mind.  Such  mental  disquiet  retarded  my  recovery. 
Sometimes  I  cried  out  in  anguish,  "It  is  all  dark, 
dark  to  me !  " 

Then  upon  the  ear  of  my  soul  would  sound,  like 
half-remembered  music,  the  dying  words  of  Cora, 
"God  is  love."  Her  sweet  serenity,  the. beautiful 
confidence  with  which  she  at  last  yielded  up  her  spir 
it,  would  rise  before  me  with  a  soothing  influence. 
"  God  is  love  !  "  Upon  this  vast,  delightful  thought, 
I  would  allow  my  aching  heart  to  rest  for  a  moment. 
This  bright  point  alone  saved  me  from  renewed  delir 
ium. 

One  day  I  was  bolstered  up  by  pillows,  my  father 
sitting  behind  me  and  supporting  me  with  his  strong 
arm. 

"Marion,"  he  said,  "there  is  a  preacher  of  your 
14 


210  MARION   LESTER. 

faith  in  the  neighborhood ;  if  you  wish,  I  will  invite 
him  to  call  upon  you." 

"  Thank  you,  father,  but  I  do  not  care  to  see  a 
stranger.  I  am  much  pleased  with  Mr.  Whitney, 
and  would  rather  he  would  continue  his  visits." 

There  was  a  little  silence,  during  which  I  strength 
ened  myself  for  an  acknowledgment.  "  Father,  dear 
father,  I  have  not  regarded  your  wishes  as  I  ought, 
nor  have  I  been  obedient  in  all  things.  I  have  had 
wrong  views,  for  I  believed  that  Christians  were  con 
fined  almost  exclusively  to  one  sect;  now  I  know 
that  all  who  love  the  Lord,  and  try  to  do  his  will,  are 
Christians,  whatever  their  name  may  be.  I  have 
learned  ttiis  from  Mr.  Whitney,  and  am  sorry  for  my 
bigotry  and  exclusiveness.  Will  you  forgive  me, 
father,  for  the  pain  I  have  occasioned  you?  " 

In  a  tone  of  emotion  he  replied,  "  My  child,  it  was 
all  forgiven  long  ago." 

"  I  knew  it,  father,  even  before  I  asked  you ;  and 
now  I  am  going  to  try  to  be  a  tetter  Christian,  and 
to  be  worthy  of  such  a  good  father.  But  I  can't 
think  clearly ;  my  mind  is  all  in  a  whirl  of  confu 
sion.  I  wish  I  could  understand  the  plan  of  salva 
tion !" 

"  My  Marion,  that  is  not  necessary  now ;  you  are 
too  weak  to  grapple  with  such  a  weighty  subject. 
Wait  until  you  are  well,  and  then  you  can  study  for 
yourself.  The  life  and  teachings  of  Jesus  will  be  a 


MAKION  LESTEE.  211 

perfect  chart  to  guide  you.  For  the  present  let  your 
heart  rest  in  God's  love  ;  endeavor  to  realize  that  he 
is  your  Almighty  Father,  and  your  anxiety  will  give 
place  to  a  pleasing  trust." 

"0,  how  much  better  I  feel !  I  am  glad  I  have 
told  you  my  troublesome  thoughts,  for  I  seem  relieved 
and  strengthened.  Dear  father,  take  away  this 
pillow  which  is  between  me  and  your  heart.  There  — 
let  me  rest  my  head  upon  your  breast.  Now,  is  not 
the  little  cloud  between  us  vanished  away,  and  am  I 
not  your  own  Marion  again,  —  your  only  and  dearest 
child?" 

"My  God,  I  thank  thee  for  this  hour  !  "  he  whis 
pered,  in  a  broken  voice.  I  could  feel  the  throbbings 
of  the  great  heart  against  which  I  rested,  and  I  knew 
that  happy  tears  were  falling  on  my  head. 

From  that  time  I  recovered  more  rapidly.  My 
mind  resumed  its  natural  tone  in  proportion  as  my 
physical  system  became  strengthened.  I  was  sur 
rounded  by  soothing  and  elevating  influences.  Books, 
and  flowers,  and  music,  with  cheerful  conversation, 
enlivened  the  tedium  of  convalescence. 

My  parents  were  all  love  and  kindness,  and  Mr. 
and  Mrs.  Whitney  constant  in  their  attentions.  And 
other  friends,  as  they  were  gradually  admitted,  testi 
fied  their  affection  in  various  ways. 

I  talked  much  about  religion  with  my  father  and 
Mr.  Whitney,  and  that  tended  to  increase  my  seren- 


212  MARION  LESTER. 

ity,  as  all  doctrinal  points  were  avoided,  and  genuine 
religion,  in  all  its  loveliness,  only  dwelt  upon.  My 
heartfelt  gratitude  is  due  these  friends  for  the  deli 
cacy  and  consideration  manifested  towards  me. 

This  was  what  I  needed  —  rest  from  all  contested 
points ;  and,  when  I  was  fully  restored  to  health,  my 
mind  was  fresh  and  clear,  and  unaccountably  free 
from  the  fetters  which  had  trammelled  it  so  shortly 
ago.  

i 
Once,  in  looking  over  a  city  paper,  my  eye  was 

arrested  by  a  name,  —  a  dear  familiar  name,  —  Alfred 
Eaton  !  It  was  in  a  list  of  lectures  given  before  a 
certain  literary  society.  His  lecture  was  pronounced 
both  brilliant  and  useful,  and  his  talents  and  moral 
worth  commented  upon  with  earnestness  and  evident 
sincerity.  Coming  tears  quickly  obscured  the  let 
ters.  This  being,  so  noble,  so  worthy,  I  had  deeply 
wronged.  He  had  once  loved,  but  now  without 
doubt  despised  me.  He  would  be  happy,  and  hon 
ored  of  men,  and  I,  alas,  had  not  a  single  claim  upon 
his  affection  or  esteem  ! 

Thfe  was  the  reopening  of  a  wound  which  could 
not  be  easily  healed.  "  But  it  is  a  just  punish 
ment,"  I  murmured,  in  bitter  self-condemnation; 
"  I  deserve  it  all  for  my  bigotry  and  passionate  haste. 
I  must  make  this  great  trial  serve  for  my  improve 
ment  and  spiritual  elevation.  And  I  must  crush 


MARION  LESTER.  213 

this  love  out  of  my  heart ;  I  must  learn  to  read  of 
him,  to  speak  of  him ;  and  even  to  meet  him,  with 
out  emotion.  Yes,  yes;  I  must  overcome  myself, 
and,  when  he  returns,  Marion  Lester  shall  meet  him 
as  a  sister  should  a  brother  —  as  I  should  meet  the 
only  brother  of  my  dear  ascended  Cora !  " 


CHAPTER    XVIII. 

"  Enter  into  his  gates  with  thanksgiving,  and  into  his  courts 
with  praise."  PSALMS  c.  4. 

"  Approach  not  the  altar 

With  gloom  in  thy  soul  ; 
Nor  let  thy  feet  falter, 

From  terror's  control ! 
God  loves  not  the  sadness 

Of  fear  and  distrust  ; 
0,  serve  him  with  gladness  — 
The  Gentle,  the  Just !  " 

F.  OSGOOD. 

A  MORNING  in  June,  —  a  Sabbath  morn  in  June  ! 
Sweetest  and  holiest  of  all  times !  Earth  wears  a 
smile  from  heaven.  Nature  has  donned  her  robe  of 
loveliness.  Everywhere  innumerable  tints  of  green 
flash  in  the  bright  sunlight,  and  the  arching  skies 
above  are  serenely,  intensely  blue.  Each  zephyr,  as 
it  floats  along,  bears  on  its  wings  perfume  from  the 
violet  and  rose ;  and  the  wild- wood  songsters  shout 
their  loftiest  anthems ! 

All  nature  is  jubilant ;  and  yet,  methinks,  there  is 
a  holy  stillness  on  the  air,  for  all  sounds  of  mortal 
toil  are  hushed,  and  the  "  voice  of  God  "  speaks 


MARION   LESTER.  215 

audibly  to  the  listening  heart.  The  gushing  sun 
shine  has  a  mellower  tinge,  and  the  flickering, 
dancing  foliage  throws  softer  shadows  on  the  green 
sward.  The  very  air  seems  instinct  with  love  and 
beauty ! 

Not  a  discordant  element  in  nature,  not  a  jarring 
chord  in  the  "  harp  of  life."  Harmony  within  and 
without.  'T  is  the  sabbath  of  the  year  —  the  sabbath 
of  the  soul ! 

On  such  a  morn,  and  in  such  a  frame  of  mind,  did 
I  repair  to  the  temple  of  the  Lord.  I  was  now  fully 
restored  to  health,  and  prepared  to  enter  into  all  the 
active  duties  of  life.  My  mother's  face  was  wreathed 
in  heartfelt  smiles,  and  my  father's  eyes  shone  with 
a  proud,  rejoicing  light.  Leaning  on  his  arm,  I 
walked  slowly  up  the  aisle,  and  seated  myself,  as  was 
my  wont  in  former  days,  between  him  and  my 
mother.  My  heart  rose,  and  beat  quickly,  as  I 
looked  around  the  little  church,  from  which  I  had 
been  so  long  absent.  How  much  of  life  I  had 
learned  since  I  last  sat  there !  What  sorrow,  what 
tribulation,  what  humility ! 

Many  eyes  were  turned  upon  me;  some  coldly, 
others  curiously,  and  some  in  joyful  surprise.  From 
Mary  Whitney,  sitting  in  the  minister's  pew,  I 
received  a  quick  glance  of  affectionate  approval.  By 
her  side  was  a  young  lady,  radiant  with  smiles ;  I 


216  MARION   LESTER. 

had  no  difficulty  in  recognizing  the  beautiful  Emma 
Benton. 

In  the  same  range  with  ours,  was  an  empty  pew. 
My  eyes  sought  it  involuntarily,  and  quickly  did  the 
rushing  tide  of  memory  cause  them  to  overflow. 
Where  was  the  little  classic  head,  with  its  wealth  of 
shining  hair  falling  'neath  a  dainty  hat,  which  I  so 
oft  had  seen  above  the  edge  of  the  high-backed  pew  ? 
Where  my  darling  Cora,  whose  vacant  seat  looked  so 
desolate  to  me  then  ?  Where  was  her  gentle  mother, 
who  ever  sat  by  her  side  ?  Where  her  noble,  manly 
brother,  with  his  earnest,  upturned  face  ?  The  pew 
was  empty  !  Two  of  those  beloved  ones  had  joined 
the  church  of  Christ  on  High,  and  one  was  far  away, 
and  forever  estranged  from  me. 

I  drew  down  my  veil,  and  let  the  heavy  tears  fall 
unrestrained.  But  there  was  no  bitterness  in  my 
tears,  no  rebellion  against  the  will  of  the  Most  High ; 
it  was  only  a  natural  outgushing  of  emotion,  which 
could  not  be  repressed. 

I  grew  calmer  as  the  services  proceeded,  and  when 
Mr.  Whitney  announced  his  text,  I  could  look  up 
prepared  to  hear  his  words  with  composure.  His 
theme  was  the  "Mission  of  Christ,"  and  not  a  word 
did  I  lose  of  the  simple,  truthful,  soul-stirring  dis 
course.  I  listened  eagerly,  almost  breathlessly,  as 
the  vastness  and  sublimity  of  the  subject  were  unfolded 
to  my  mind.  The  sermon  was  clear,  concise,  and 


MAKION   LESTER.  217 

logical,  proving  the  power  and  completeness  of  the 
scheme  of  salvation,  and  the  certainty  of  the  fulfil 
ment  of  Christ's  mission,  which  was  "  to  seek  and 
save  that  which  was  lost."  He  closed  with  a  rapt, 
prophetical  view  of  that  glorious  era  when  Christ's 
mediatorial  reign  shall  have  been  accomplished ; 
when,  sin  and  death  finished,  he  shall  give  up  all 
things  into  the  Father's  hands,  "  that  God  may  be 
all  in  all." 

My  mind  was  settled  now ;  there  would  be  no 
more  fear,  no  more  painful  questioning  for  me.  God 
would  be  all  in  all.  Christ's  mission  would  be 
accomplished !  When,  and  how.,  and  where.  I  cared 
not,  in  the  blessed  knowledge  that  it  would  be  done 
in  God's  own  time  !  The  thought  seemed  to  illumin 
ate  my  mind  and  to  vivify  my  heart. 

I  bowed  my  head  upon  my  hands,  lost  to  all  out 
ward  things  in  the  contemplation  of  the  delightful 
theme.  My  soul  seemed  bathed,  absorbed  in  light, 
and  the  breath  of  Eternal  Love  swept  each  sensitive 
chord  of  my  being.  I  had  .never  felt  such  nearness 
to  God ;  such  complete  confidence  in  his  changeless 
mercy. 

New  faith  and  hope  budded  and  blossomed  in  my 
heart,  the  fruit  of  which,  in  after  days,  was  saving 
food  to  my  soul.  I  received  such  a  baptism  of  joy 
that  I  felt  I  could  never  sorrow  again  as  I  had  done. 
Death  was  no  longer  a  grim  spectre,  but  one  of 


218  MARION   LESTER. 

God's  good  angels.  And  even  that  cruel  separation 
from  one  still  living,  and  still  beloved,  seemed  now 
.endurable.  Now  I  never  need  fear  for  myself  or  any 
I  love,  for  Jesus  is  sufficient  for  all ! 

I  partially  shook  off  the  blessed  revery.  and  raised 
my  head.  Mrs.  Whitney  stood  by  my  side,  quietly 
waiting  for  me.  How  long  she  had  remained  there  I 
knew  not,  for  the  audience  had  entirely  dispersed, 
and  the  sexton  sat  dozing  by  the  door. 

She  took  my  arm  with  an  expressive  smile,  and  led 
me  away.  She  understood  me  too  well  to  jar  upon 
my  delicious  musings  with  even  the  gentlest  word, 
and  we  walked  on  in  silence,  and  parted  at  the  gate 
with  a  pressure  of  the  hand,  which  meant  more  than 
words. 

Once  alone  in  my  own  room,  I  fell  upon  my  knees, 
and  my  heart  gushed  forth  in  gratitude  and  praise ! 


CHAPTER    XIX. 

QUIET  HAPPINESS.  —  UNEXPECTED   JOT. 

Two  years  flew  by,  on  wings  of  quietness  and  peace. 
No  one  event  stood  out  prominently  from  any  other ; 
but  all  the  incidents  of  life  seemed  woven  with  silken 
threads. 

My  religious  faith  had  grown  and  strengthened 
with  me,  and  now  it  was  a  part  of  my  very  being.  I 
was  happy,  and  studied  to  make  those  around  me 
taste  the  sweet  cup  too.  Mrs.  Whitney  and  her  sister 
Emma  were  my  dear  and  intimate  friends.  Emma 
was  a  child  of  nature,  fresh  and  guileless  in  char 
acter.  With  Mary,  religion  was  a  living  principle ; 
with  Emma,  it  was  an  impulse.  I  derived  much  pleas 
ure  and  benefit  from  the  society  of  these  friends,  for 
the  observation  of  their  practical  virtues  kept  me 
continually  reminded  that  religion  was  not  a  mere 
thing,  but  a  life  to  live. 

In  the  spring  the  Eaton  cottage  was  opened,  and 
the  good  aunt  Fanny,  before  introduced  to  the  reader, 
came  to  dwell  in  it.  The  garden  was  ploughed  and 


220  MARION    LESTER. 

planted,  and  the  flowering  vines  and  shrubbery 
trimmed  and  watered.  The  long-neglected  place 
smiled  again  in  all  its  pristine  beauty. 

Mother  Gossip  reported  that  the  owner  was  to 
return  soon  with  a  bride,  and  settle  in  his  native 
place.  I  tried  not  to  believe  it ;  but,  when  Rumor 
concurred  in  what  Gossip  had  said,  I  was  forced  to 
yield  the  point.  I  heard  the  tale  with  conflicting 
emotions,  and  yet  tried  to  deceive  myself  into  the 
belief  that  it  was  a  matter  of  indifference  to  me. 
"  Yes,  I  am  glad  of  it,"  was  my  mental  declaration, 
"  for  if  he  is  married,  he  will  meet  me  more  frankly, 
and  our  old  footing  of  friendship  can  be  reestab 
lished."  I  actually  thought  I  had  so  far  overcome 
myself  that  I  could  live  near  Alfred  Eaton,  and  on 
terms  of  friendship,  without  endangering  my  peace. 

June  wore  again  her  coronal  of  roses,  and  proudly 
queened  it  over  retiring  spring.  The  first  Sabbath 
in  the  month  was  bright  and  balmy,  and  a  counter 
part  of  the  blessed  day  when  the  last  trembling  doubt 
lifted  its  shadow  from  my  mind. 

I  had  scarcely  seated  myself  in  meeting,  when  I 
was  conscious  that  the  Eaton  pew,  so  long  empty, 
was  now  occupied.  Two  young  men  were  seated  in  it, 
and  one  was  Alfred  !  My  heart  gave  a  bound,  and 
then  stood  still.  "  How  foolish  to  be  so  startled  !  "  I 
said  to  myself,  trying  to  regain  the  reins  of  self-gov 
ernment  ;  but  I  could  not.  The  sight  of  Alfred,  so 


MARION  LESTER.  221 

unexpectedly,  awakened  a  host  of  unpleasant  memo 
ries.  I  did  not  hear  a  word  of  the  sermon,  nor  was 
I  fully  recalled  to  myself  until  the  minister  rose 
to  pronounce  the  benediction.  Deeply  conscience- 
stricken,  I  started  to  my  feet,  and  lifted  up  my  head 
in  prayer  for  forgiveness. 

And  this,  0,  Marion,  is  your  boasted  self-con 
quest  ;  this  your  victory  over  an  affection  long 
since  worse  than  useless  ! 

While  passing  out  of  the  church  I  discovered  that 
Alfred's  companion  was  none  other  than  Arthur 
Willis  ;  but  how  changed  in  every  expression  !  What 
serene  elevation  in  his  eye ;  what  dignified  composure 
in  every  motion  !  I  had  little  time  to  speculate  on 
his  changed  aspect,  for  he  came  directly  to  me  with 
a  cordial  greeting. 

I  pressed  him  to  go  home  with  me  and  spend  the 
intermission.  He  readily  acquiesced,  and,  as  Alfred 
was  surrounded  by  welcoming  friends,  I  passed  along 
without  a  single  glance  or  token  of  recognition. 

After  a  few  common-places,  Arthur  turned  to  me 
more  earnestly:  "  We  have  both  been  changed  since 
our  last  meeting.  We  have  come  out  of  darkness  into 
marvellous  light.  Blessed  be  the  name  of  the  Lord  ! ' 

"  Blessed  be  his  name !  '.'  I  repeated,  softly,  and 
deeply  impressed.  "  I  know  that  only  the  glorious 
light  of  the  gospel  could  create  such  a  happy  change 
in  you  as  your  appearance  indicates." 


222  MARION   LESTER. 

"You  look  at  me  inquiringly,"  he  said,  with  a 
feint  smile,  "  and  I  mean  to  gratify  your  natural 
curiosity  without  any  questions." 

He  lowered  his  voice  to  its  gentlest  tones. 

"After  our  painful  interview  by  Cora's  grave,  I 
wandered  for  weeks  from  place  to  place,  on  the  verge 
of  madness.  But  the  good  God  directed  my  steps, 
and  brought  his  divine  influence  to  bear  upon  my 
distracted  mind.  I  met  Alfred  Eaton,  and,  knowing 
him  to  be  the  brother  of  our  dear  ascended  Cora,  I 
felt  irresistibly  drawn  towards  him.  I  confided  all 
my  sorrows  to  him,  and  from  that  time  he  has  ap 
peared  to  regard  me  with  a  brother's  affection. 

"0,  such  a  friend  as  he  has  been  to  me !  So  faith 
ful,  so  constant,  and  patient !  Under  God.  I  owe 
my  present  light  and  happiness  to  him." 

My  heart  was  thrilled  with  these  praises  of  Alfred, 
but  I  could  not  speak. 

Arthur  went  on. 

"  My  new  friend  tried  to  heal  my  heart  by  relig 
ious  counsel ;  but  I  cried  out  that  he  could  not  feel 
such  sorrow  as  mine.  He  then  told  me  of  his  own 
griefs,  —  how  he  had  laid  all  his  family  in  the  silent 
grave.  But  I  persisted  that  Cora  was  more  dear  to 
me  than  a  parent  or  sister,  —  that  he  had  never  felt 
such  love,  and  of  course  could  hardly  dream  of  such 
a  sorrow.  I  was  half  shocked  at  the  effect  of  my 
words,  for  his  face  was  distorted  with  an  expression 


MARION   LESTER.  220 

of  anguish ;  and  he  turned  it  away  and  remained 
silent  for  a  long  time.  When  he  at  last  looked  up, 
he  was  calm,  almost  cheerful.  '  To  prove  to  you,'  he 
said,  { that  religious  aspirations  will  comfort  and 
strengthen  you,  I  will  tell  you  a  little  more  about 
myself.  Your  beloved  is  taken  from  you  by  death, 
and  mine,  though  still  living,  is  as  surely  separated 
from  me.  I  have  taken  back  vows  unfulfilled,  and  a 
disappointed  affection  stings  my  heart.  But  I  am 
enabled  to  bear  it,  and  to  work  for  my  fellow-men,  and 
my  own  advancement.  It  is  faith  in  God  which  sus 
tains  me.'  I  looked  at  Alfred  reverently,  yet  no 
chord  in  my  soul  echoed  to  his  words.  I  shall  never 
forget  his  look  of  sorrow  when  he  learned  that  I  was 
a  confirmed  sceptic  ;  but  his  ardor  for  my  conversion, 
his  indefatigable  patience,  conquered  me  at  last. 
Slowly  but .  surely  my  scepticism  was  uprooted,  and 
faith  planted  in  its  place.  I  learned  to  love  the  Bible, 
to  believe  it :  and  every  page  was  luminous  with  the 
love  of  the  eternal  Father." 

He  paused  as  if  waiting  for  me  to  speak.  My  heart 
was  full,  and  tears  streaming  from  my  eyes  ;  but  my 
belief  that  he  was  ignorant  of  my  identity  with  the 
unworthy  love  of  Alfred,  gave  me  a  slight  degree  of 
composure,  and  with  difficulty  I  murmured  a  few 
words  of  sympathy. 

"And  now,  though  sorrow  may  overtake,  though" 
storms  may  encompass  my  path.  I  lean  safely  on  the 


224  MARION  LESTER. 

everlasting  rock  ;  God  is  my  shield,  Jesus  my  refuge ! 
I  believe  in  God's  love,  —  I  feel  it,  I  know  it !  And 
the  least,  the  last  of  God's  children  shall  one  day 
know  it ;  not  as  I  do  now,  but  in  a  glorious  and 
beatified  state  !  Great  Father,  hasten  the  time !  " 

He  removed  his  hat,  and  stood  looking  upward. 
His  soul,  beaming  through  his  eyes,  seemed  to  pierce 
the  azure  into  realms  above.  The  breeze  lightly  lifted 
his  midnight  tresses  from  a  brow  of  splendid  propor 
tions,  and  his  lips  were  parted  in  the  fervor  of  his 
emotions.  Never  had  I  seen  a  face  expressing  such 
spiritual  elevation,  such  high-toned  intellectuality. 

A  glow  of  gratitude  warmed  my  breast,  that  a 
being  so  exquisitely  gifted,  so  spiritually-minded,  had 
not  been  long  permitted  to  grope  in  the  darkness  of 
despair. 

We  were  now  at  the  door,  and  my  father  stood 
ready  to  welcome  us. 

I  soon  found,  to  my  surprise  and  increased  pleas 
ure,  that  Arthur  Willis  had  completed  the  study  of 
divinity,  and  was  now  an  ordained  minister  of  the 
gospel  of  reconciliation  and  peace.  When  the  bell 
rung  for  afternoon  service,  Mr.  Whitney  called  to 
invite  him  to  preach.  After  a  little  demurring,  the 
young  man  consented,  and  the  two  ministers  walked 
on  in  advance,  leaving  Mrs.  Whitney  and  Emma  to 
go  with  me.  On  the  way  I  gave  them  a  brief  outline 
of  my  former  acquaintance  with  the  stranger  gentle- 


MARION   LESTER.  225 

man.  Emma  thought  it  was  a  very  romantic  story ; 
and,  as  she  liked  his  looks  so  well,  she  was  prepared 
to  be  pleased  with  his  preaching. 

I  made  amends  for  my  previous  abstraction  by 
earnest  and  devout  attention.  I  was  instructed  and 
deeply  gratified.  The  speaker  appeared  to  lose  his 
identity;  to  entirely  forget  himself,  in  his  ardent 
delineation  of  gospel  truths.  And  this  young  man, 
so  fearlessly  proclaiming  salvation,  had  once  been 
tossed  on  speculative  seas,  and  driven  by  bleak  storms 
on  to  the  shore  of  infidelity.  But  God  had  saved  his 
bark  from  total  wreck,  and  sent  an  angel  .to  pilot  him 
into  the  boundless  ocean  of  truth.  And  now  he  stood 
before  me,  a  man  in  the  truest  sense  of  the  word.  He 
had  fought  with  fire  and  battled  with  tribulation,  but 
now  he  rode  above  the  clouds  in  an  element  of  love 
and  trust. 

"  0,  bless  the  Lord  for  his  loving-kindness!"  I 
murmured  many  times  that  afternoon. 


I  had  planted  Cora's  grave  with  her  favorite  wild 
flowers,  taken  from  her  own  accustomed  haunts ;  and 
nearly  every  day  since  the  birth  of  the  roses,  I  had 
twined  a  wreath  about  the  head-stone.  After  meet 
ing,  I  plucked  the  fairest  buds  in  the  garden  and 
carried  them  to  the  sacred  spot.  "Alfred  will  see 
them,"  I  thought,  "and  know  that  Cora  is  not  for 
gotten  or  neglected." 
15 


MARION   LESTER. 

After  I  had  placed  the  wreath  upon  the  spotless 
marble,  and  stood  looking  upon  the  fragrant  mound 
with  pleasing  melancholy,  I  observed  Alfred  walking 
slowly  towards  me.  Much  as  I  desired  to  meet  him, 
I  shrank  from  him  then  and  there,  and  turned  to  leave 
the  spot  by  another  walk.  He  divined  my  object,  and, 
crossing  over,  intercepted  me  in  my  path. 

He  extended  his  hand,  saying  with  his  accustomed 
frankness,  "  Why  do  you  avoid  me,  sister  May  ?  " 

I  had  met  him,  —  had  heard  his  voice,  and  he  had 
called  me  "sister  May."  My  heart  beat  violently, 
and  a  sharp  «pang  of  disappointment  shot  through  it. 
I  would  fain  have  passed  by  him,  but  I  could  not 
without  positive  rudeness.  "  Come,  dear  Marion,  and 
sit  down  upon  this  stone ;  let  us  commune  a  little 
together."  I  sat  down  without  a  word,  and  trembled 
with  emotion. 

Alfred  looked  upon  the  wreath-crowned  grave  with 
glistening  eyes.  "  I  see  Cora  still  lives  in  your  affec 
tion,"  he  said  softly ;  "  my  heart  thanks  you  for  these 
sweet  attentions." 

I  felt  there  was  necessity  for  speaking,  but  my 
voice  was  constrained  and  low,  as  I  said,  "  None  knew 
Cora  but  to  love  her,  and  I  who  loved  her  so  fondly 
can  never  forget  her." 

"  No,  no,"  he  said,  musingly;  "  those  truly  loved 
are  never  forgotten."  He  threw  himself  on  the  grass 
at  my  feet,  and  we  were  silent  for  a  time ;  at  last  he 


MARION   LESTER.  227 

turned  his  face  towards  me  very  earnestly.  "It  is 
strange,"  he  said,  "when  I  have  so  yearned  to  see 
you,  and  thought  I  could  never  tell  you  all  that  is  in 
my  heart,  that,  now  you  are  beside  me,  I  can  hardly 
speak  at  all." 

"I  believe  it  is  often  so  when  old  friends  meet. 
You  have  been  absent  a  long  time." 

His  eyes  lighted.  "  Has  it  seemed  long  to  you, 
Marion  ?  Have  you  ever  thought  of  me,  or  wished  for 
my  return  ?  It  has  seemed  an  age  to  me,  and  if  I 
had  not  had  so  much  to  do,  I  don't  know  how  I  could 
have  got  through  with  it  all.  0,  Marion,  I  have 
never  forgotten  to  dream  of  you  —  to  pray  for  you  — 
to  love  you  !  Do  not  turn  your  face  away ;  let  me 
read  your  eyes  !  If  you  have  still  any  love  for  me, 
fear  not  to  let  your  heart  speak  out,  for  I  come  offer 
ing  my  heart  again,  and  praying  for  a  return !  Once 
you  said  we  should  be  happiest  apart ;  have  we  not 
both  proved  that  a  mistake,  and  will  you  not  agree 
with  me  in  saying  that  our  best  happiness  will  be 
found  in  each  other's  society?  " 
•  My  heart  beat  wildly,  tumultuously ;  my  head 
grew  giddy  with  excess  of  joy. 

"Speak,  dearest  Marion,  my  Marion  — I  may  call 
you  so  ?  Have  not  the  clouds  all  passed  from  our  hori 
zon,  and  may  not  our  hearts  be  reunited  in  a  pure  and 
Christian  bond  ?  Having  loved  you  once,  I  can  never 
cease  to  love.  Now  tell  me,  Marion,  do  I  plead  in  yain  ?' ' 


228  MARION   LESTER. 

"  0,  Alfred,  this  is  so  much  more  than  I  expected 
—  so  much  more  than  I  deserve  —  I  —  I  —  ; 

"  Tears,  Marion  !  what  do  they  mean?  " 

"  They  are  tears  of  joy.  Alfred.  But  I  do  not 
deserve  this  happiness  —  I  do  not  deserve  it ! 

"  Not  deserve  it !  Assured  of  your  love,  I  am  the 
happiest  man  in  the  country  !  Give  me  your  hand, 
Marion,  in  token  of  our  renewed  pledge." 

I  gave  him  my  hand ;  it  was  clasped  fervently  and 
pressed  to  his  heart.  ' '  Now,  in  the  presence  of  God  our 
Father —  in  this  sacred  spot  where  repose  the  ashes  of 
my  kindred — in  memory  of  her,  who  clasped  our  hands 
above  her  dying  pillow,  and  prayed  that  our  hearts 
might  be  reunited  as  were  our  hands  —  do  we  pledge 
anew  our  love  and  our  fidelity  !  No  storms,  nor  sun 
shine,  nor  pride  of  opinion,  nor  even  death  itself,  shall 
ever  divide  our  spirits  now  !  Do  you  accept  the  vow  ? ' ' 

"Jdo!" 

"  Then  may  the  Great  Father  smile  upon  us  in  this 
hour,  and  sanctify  to  our  good  the  trials  we  have 
passed  through !  " 

The  solemnity  of  his  words  tempered  with  awe  the 
happiness  gushing  over  my  soul.  Our  joy  was  too 
deep  and  indwelling  for  expression ;  therefore  we  sat 
a  long  time  without  speaking.  But  after  a  while  I 
began  to  question  him. 

"Why,  Alfred,  loving  me  as  you  say  you  do,  did 
you  remain  away  so  long?  " 


MARION   LESTER.  229 

"Don't  chide  me,  Marion;  I  will  explain  it  all. 
For  months  after  leaving  here  I  felt  desolate  and 
alone.  Believing  that  we  were  forever  separated,  I 
tried  to  forget  you.  I  studied  hard,  and  was  noticed 
and  patronized  in  the  literary  world.  I  tried  to  banish 
your  image  from  my  heart  in  the  pleasures  of  ambi 
tion,  but  in  vain.  Then  I  gradually  became  possessed 
of  the  belief  that  time  would  overcome  your  unworthy 
prejudices ;  and  that  your  questioning  mind  would 
never  rest  until  it  found  the  sure  and  steadfast  anchor 
—  God's  love.  Many  times  have  I  been  on  the  point 
of  flying  to  you,  to  impart  to  you  all  my  hopes  and 
wishes  ;  but  my  better  judgment  prevailed.  I  would 
not  run  the  risk  of  a  disappointment,  until  you  had 
had  time  to  learn  your  own  heart ;  until  your  mind 
had  fully  outgrown  the  effects  of  that  desolating  storm 
of  fear  and  darkness. 

"  Imagine  my  pleasure,  then,  when,  on  returning,  I 
read  in  the  beautiful  serenity  of  your  face  the  peace 
of  the  spirit.  I  knew  at  a  glance  that  your  soul  had 
been  deeply  baptized  in  the  religion  of  love.  But 
when  many  tongues  joined  to  praise  you,  —  to  tell  of 
your  patience,  and  charity,  and  Christian  meekness,  — 
my  heart  almost  failed  me.  I  feared  you  had  risen  so 
much  above  and  superior  to  me,  that  I  could  never 
call  you  mine.  But,  thank  God,  you  are  my  own 
Marion  again ;  and  brighter,  purer,  dearer  than 
ever ! " 


230  MARION   LESTER. 

Upon  his  shoulder  I  -wept  my  joy.  Yet  conscience 
would  not  take  the  half  of  his  praise;  "but  I  will 
try,  I  will  try  to  be  worthy  of  it  all !  "  was  my  mental 
resolve. 

;  At  that  moment  Arthur  Willis  stepped  lightly  be 
fore  us.  I  started  in  blushing  confusion.  "  Excuse 
me  if  I  am  intruding,"  said  Arthur. 

"  No  intrusion,  my  friend,"  said  Alfred,  in  his  own 
hearty  manner ;  "  you  have  come  at  a  happy  moment 
The  heart  which  I  once  lost  is  given  again  into  my 
keeping,  and  I  hold  it  as  a  priceless  treasure.  Marion 
is  my  affianced,  —  mine  and  only  mine." 

Arthur  smiled  brightly.  "  I  congratulate  you  both 
with  my  whole  heart.  May  nothing  ever  mar  your 
present  happiness.  Trial  has  purified  and  elevated 
your  affections,  and  you  are  the  happier  for  the  storm. 
It  is  thus  our  heavenly  Father  worketh  all  things  for 
our  good.  Let  us  trust  in  Him  always." 

His  words  and  tones  seemed  more  natural  to  him 
who  has  trod  life's  path  many  years,  than  to  one  just 
on  the  threshold  of  manhood ;  but  I  felt  that  they 
sprung  fresh  from  his  heart.  Then  he  turned  and 
looked  long  upon  Cora's  flowery  grave.  I  expected 
to  see  his  brow  overshadowed,  and  his  features  con 
vulsed.  But  the  smile  spread  over  his  face  until  it 
was  illumined  with  the  light  of  the  soul. 

"  This  wreath,"  he  said,  pointing  to  the  chaplet  of 
flowers,  yet  turning  his  gaze  upward,  "  is  a  sweet  em- 


MARION   LESTER.  231 

blem  of  the  crown  of  immortality  encircling  her  brow. 
Angelic  Cora !  I  fancy  her  spirit  floats  on  that  rosy 
cloud,  just  above  the  portal  where  the  sun  goes  in  to 
rest ;  and,  now  I  close  my  eyes,  I  feel  her  holy  pres 
ence  close  to  my  heart !  " 

I  was  overcome,  and  from  the  fount  of  tenderness 
fresh  tears  gushed  forth.  A  warm  drop  fell  on  my 
hand,  over  which  Alfred  bent  his  head. 

Arthur,  his  soul  borne  upon  wings  of  faith,  forgot 
our  presence.  He  went  on  in  a  sort  of  rapture  :  "Once 
I  wailed  in  black  despair,  the  blighting  of  my  heart's 
idol ;  now  Cora  is  my  star  crowned  in  heaven  !  ever 
guiding,  ever  leading  me  upward  !  " 

0,  Cora !  Though  loved  and  cherished  on  earth, 
how  much  more  beautiful  and  precious  in  heaven ! 
Thy  life  could  never  have  accomplished  what  thy 
death  hath  already  done.  Thy  star,  rising  higher 
and  higher,  draweth  upward,  still  upward,  the  hearts 
of  those  clinging  to  thee  !  Darkness  and  gloom  are 
banished  from  the  portal  through  which  thou  hast 
flown,  and  Christ  himself  brightened  the  way  for 
thee! 

"0,  morn  celestial  !  where  the  sun 
Is  needed  not  to  make  the  day. 
The  glories  of  th'  Eternal  One, 

God,  shall  light  the  place  alway  ! 
And  moon  and  stars  give  not  their  light ; 
That  morn  shall  never  fade  in  night  ; 
And  Faith  and  Hope  I  '11  need  no  more 
On  Love's  own  amaranthine  shore  !  " 


CHAPTER    XX. 

LIGHT   COMETH  FORTH   FROM   DARKNESS. 

"  But  this  is  over.     Light  hath  visited 
Her  winter-shrouded  spirit.     Night  and  day 
Her  eye  is  riveted  upon  the  page 
Which  yielded  peace  and  everlasting  life  ; 
And  she  hath  found  it. 

Up  in  her  breast 

Hath  sprung  mysterious  strength.     The  ills  of  life 
Are  passed  from  her  remembrance.     She  doth  live, 
And  move,  and  have  her  being,  in  the  light 
Of  God's  eternal  presence  :  and  the  fears 
Of  death  and  hell  have  now  no  place  within 
Her  heaven-instructed  soul." 

JULIA  H.  SCOTT. 

THE  curtain  is  lifted  again  after  a  lapse  of  five 
years.  Alfred  and  I  live  happily  in  our  little  cot 
tage,  crowned  with  peace  and  plenty.  Good  aunt 
Fanny  is  my  housekeeper,  and  an  indispensable 
member  of  our  family. 

These  years  have  touched  lightly  the  principal 
characters  of  our  story.  I  can  count  a  few  more 
gray  hairs  on  my  father's  head,  and  an  added  wrinkle 
here  and  there ;  and  mother  has  taken  to  wearing 


MARION    LESTER.  233 

caps  and  spectacles ;  but  over  their  faces  there  is  a 
peaceful  lustre  radiated  from  hearts  quietly  happy. 

Mr.  "Whitney  still  breaks  the  bread  of  life  to  a 
united  and  prospering  flock.  He  is  honored  and 
beloved,  and  his  wife,  the  sharer  of  his  toils  and 
pleasures,  has  a  place  in  many  hearts.  Their  home 
is  brightened  with  the  presence  of  Emma  Benton, 
who  is  as  gay  and  light-hearted,  and  withal  as  beau 
tiful  and  good,  as  in  early  girlhood. 

Arthur  Willis  ministers  to  a  large  society  in  a 
neighboring  city.  He  is  a  very  useful  and  popular 
man,  but  he  cares  little  for  fame  only  as  a  means  of 
being  useful  in  a  wider  sphere  of  action.  He  is  true 
to  his  integrity,  and  his  heart  is  still  untouched  by 
earthly  ambition.  He  preaches  "  Christ  and  Him 
crucified,"  and  salvation  to  the  world,  with  increas 
ing  sincerity  and  ardor.  Though  Cora's  star  is  still 
reflected  in  the  holiest  mirror  of  his  heart,  he  feels 
the  need  of  an  earthly  companion.  He  has  wooed 
and  won  Emma  Benton.  The  dear  girl  just  whispered 
in  my  ear  that  but  six  months  will  elapse  ere  she  will 
be  led  to  the  altar  by  the  noble  and  gifted  Arthur 
Willis.  Peace  and  prosperity  attend  them  ! 


Alfred's  business  called  him  into  the  Empire  State, 
and,  as  it  was  in  the  height  of  the  Saratoga  season, 
I  decided  to  accompany  him  to  that  far-famed  water 
ing-place.  We  planned  to  go  directly  to  Saratoga, 


234  MARION  LESTER. 

where  Alfred  would  leave  me,  and,  after  the  disposal 
of  his  business,  return  and  spend  a  few  days ;  after 
which  we  were  to  make  a  leisurely  homeward  tour. 

I  invited  Emma  Benton  to  go  with  us,  which  invi 
tation  was  accepted  with  enthusiasm.  After  a 
delightful  journey  we  arrived  at  the  Springs  in  high 
health  and  spirits.  One  day  was  spent  in  pleasant 
walks  and  drinking  of  the  water,  which,  of  course, 
we  pronounced  very  delicious,  and  superior  to  any 
other,  and  then  Alfred  left  us,  saying  he  "  must 
work  before  he  played."  He  bade  us  be  as  happy  as 
we  might,  and  Emma  assured  him  that  that  would 
be  happy  enough,  for,  in  that  beautiful  place,  with 
each  other's  society,  and  books  and  pencils,  she 
thought  a  month  might  pass  away  before  even  the 
charm  of  novelty  would  be  worn  off. 

The  following  morning  was  bright  beyond  compare. 
I  was  ready  for  a  walk,  but  Emma  had  fallen  in  love 
with  the  landscape  seen  from  a  certain  point,  and  I 
could  not  coax  her  from  the  window.  She  would  get 
her  drawing  materials,  and,  after  she  had  sketched  the 
outlines  of  the  pretty  scene,  would  walk  with  me 
wherever  I  pleased.  So  I  concluded  to  submit  with 
a  good  grace,  and  declared  my  intention  to  take  my 
note-book  and  go  down  in  the  public  parlor,  or  walk 
on  the  piazza. 

She  laughingly  called  after  me  to  study  the  faces 
well,  for  I  might  display  my  sagacity  by  picking 


ft 
MARION   LESTER.  235 


out  the  heroes  and  poets,  or  great  characters  of  any 
sort. 

I  replied,  in  the  same  vein,  that  human  nature  was 
the  best  study  in  the  world,  and  where  could  I  find 
it  more  diversified  than  at  Saratoga  ? 

But,  though  there  were  a  number  of  richly-dressed 
people  in  the  parlor,  there  was  nothing  remarkable 
about  them,  and  I  fell  to  musing,  now  and  then 
dreamily  tracing  a  line  or  two  in  my  note-book. 
Once  my  eyes  wandered  through  the  open  window 
upon  the  piazza,  and  I  suddenly  became  interested. 
A  female,  with  a  small  and  delicate  figure,  walked 
slowly  back  and  forth,  leading  a  three-year-old  boy 
by  the  hand.  The  lady  was  dressed  in  the  deepest 
mourning, — not  in  silks  and  tasteful  laces,  but  gloomy 
serge, — and  a  long  crape  veil  hid  her  face.  She  was 
evidently  in  deepest  sorrow,  and  I  felt  instinctively 
that  it  was  grief,  not  years,  which  bowed  her  form. 

She  formed  a  touching  contrast  to  the  gayly- 
dressed  butterflies  of  fashion  flitting  hither  and 
thither. 

I  watched  her  with  painful  interest. 

The  little  boy  spoke  in  a  plaintive  voice,  and  the 
lady,  partially  raising  her  veil,  bent  to  hear.  I 
caught  a  momentary  glimpse  of  her  face,  and  imme 
diately  recognized  the  pale  but  familiar  features.  It 
was  Miss  Ingols,  or  rather  Mrs.  Delano. 

Shortly  after  my  marriage,  I  had  received  a  letter 


236  MARION   LESTER. 

from  her,  informing  me  of  her  union  with  Mr.  De 
lano,  and  of  their  removal  to  the  west.  I  imme 
diately  replied  with  affectionate  congratulations,  and 
told  her  of  my  own  marriage  and  happy  change  of 
faith.  I  had  never  heard  from  her  since  then,  nor 
had  I  heard  of  the  decease  of  Mr.  Delano ;  still  I 
needed  not  to  be  told  that  she  was  a  widow,  and  her 
child  an  orphan. 

I  stepped  to  the  door,  that  she  might  have  a  chance 
to  recognize  me.  She  paused,  and,  raising  her  veil, 
looked  at  me  earnestly.  I  went  towards  her,  smiling ; 
"  If  I  am  not  mistaken,"  she  said,  in  a  trembling 
voice,  "  this  is  Marion  Lester." 

"No,  you  are  not  mistaken,"  said  I,  "and  I 
have  the  pleasure  of  meeting  my  old  friend  and 
teacher." 

She  caught  my  outstretched  hand,  and  deluged  it 
with  tears. 

"  Excuse  me,"  she  said,  "for  I  cannot  help  it. 
I  am  very  nervous,  and  the  least  thing  overcomes  me. 
And  I  am  very  glad  to  see  you,  dear  Marion,  or 
perhaps  I  ought  to  say,  Mrs.  Eaton." 

"  0,  no !  let  me  be  Marion  to  you  still.  Mrs. 
Eaton  is  too  formal  for  old  friends." 

She  smiled ;  but,  0,  it  was  more  mournful  even 
than  her  tears ! 

"You  are  unchanged,  I  see;  you  look  as  bright 
and  happy,  and  almost  as  girlish,  as  when  I  first 


MARION  LESTER.  237 

knew  you.  But  I  —  I  —  am  desolate,  and  alone  !  " 
Again  a  shower  of  grief  choked  her  words. 

We  were  attracting  too  much  attention  from  curi 
ous  loungers,  and  Mrs.  Delano  invited  me  into  her 
private  room,  where  we  could  be  secure  from  intru 
sion.  She  looked  like  a  confirmed  invalid  as  she 
leaned  back  in  her  chair,  as  if  exhausted.  Her 
features  were  very  pale  and  thin,  and,  if  I  had 
thought  their  expression  touchingly  mournful  in 
other  days,  it  was  now  one  of  bitter  despair. 

The  little  boy  seated  himself  demurely  at  her  feet, 
and  folded  his  small  hands  with  strange  quietness. 
He  had  his  father's  fine  features  and  lofty  forehead, 
and  his  mother's  deep  hazel  eyes,  with  all  their  sor 
rowful  light.  He  was  not  eager  and  restless  like 
other  children,  but  prematurely  grave  and  thought 
ful. 

"  And  this  is  your  little  boy  ?  "  I  asked,  wishing 
for  something  to  say. 

"Yes;  this  is  my  little  fatherless  child,"  she 
replied,  laying  her  hand  on  his  brjght  locks. 

"  What  do  you  call  him?" 

"  Roland." 

There  was  deep  meaning  in  the  quivering  tones, 
and  in  the  sudden  veiling  of  those  mournful  eyes. 

I  thought,  with  a  gush  of  emotion,  which  I  could 
scarce  repress,  how,  in  the  first  joy  of  mother-love,  she 
had  not  forgotten  him  whose  sudden  and  terrible 


238  MARION  LESTER. 

death  had  poured  night  into  her  young  soul,  but  had 
given  ,his  name  to  her  precious  babe.  She  called 
him  "Roland!" 

How  expressive  of  never-dying  affection  —  of  still 
living  sorrow ! 

"  Roland,  dear,  you  may  go  down  stairs  and  play 
a  little  while;  mamma  wants  to  talk  with  her 
friend." 

The  child  looked  into  her  agitated  face,  not  won- 
deringly,  but  pityingly  and  appreciatingly,  I  thought, 
and  slowly  and  reluctantly  left  the  room. 

"  The  dear  little  fellow  is  so  timid  and  bashful," 
said  the  mother,  gazing  after  him  with  fond  emotion, 
11  that  I  have  to  force  him  from  my  side  sometimes. 
He  never  runs  about  and  plays  like  other  children. 
I  wish  he  would." 

"  He  is  a  beautiful  child,  but  he  looks  delicate." 

"  He  is  feeble ;  and  it  is  more  on  his  account  than 
my  own  that  I  am  here,  though  the  doctors  told  me 
the  spring  waters  would  be  beneficial  to  me.  But  I 
don't  see  any  improvement,  and  the  gayety  and 
bustle  of  so  much  company  are  very  annoying.  I  feel 
there  is  no  cure  for  me  —  no  balm  for  my  wounded 
heart.  I  told  you  my  little  Roland  was  fatherless !  " 

"  Yes,"  I  replied,  struggling  with  tears;  "you 
are  desolate  and  bereaved ;  but  time  will  heal  the 
wounds  of  your  heart,  as  you  must  have  faith  in  the 
happiness  of  your  departed  friend." 


MARION    LESTER.  239 

"0,  Marion,  Marion,  it  is  not  that  I  am  a  widow 
—  it  is  not  that  I  am  bereaved,  that  my  spirit  is 
broken !  Much  as  I  mourn  for  my  good  husband, 
much  as  I  miss  his  society,  I  could  learn  to  bear  that, 
believing  he  is  called  and  chosen  of  God ;  but  my  little 
Roland  has  no  one  to  guide  and  teach  him  now ! 
Sometimes  I  think  I  have  doomed  him  by  giving  him 
that  name.  It  was  a  fatal,  idolatrous  love  which  did 
it !  " 

"  My  dear  friend  !  God  is  the  father  of  the  father 
less." 

' '  I  know  it ;  but  think  of  the  responsibility  resting 
upon  me  !  How  can  I  teach  his  young  spirit  —  how 
can  I  show  him  the  way  of  salvation,  when  my  own 
feet  have  faltered  and  led  me  into  folds  of  dark 
ness?" 

"  Why  do  you  so  underrate  yourself?  You  can 
teach  your  child  love  and  obedience,  as  you  have 
instructed  many  other  young  spirits." 

"Ah,  Marion,  when  you  knew  me  I  had  a  Chris 
tian's  hope ;  now  I  feel  I  have  no  part  or  union  with 
God's  own  !  " 

She  looked  at  me  with  such  a  fixed}  despairing 
gaze,  that  I  was  petrified. 

"  When  my  baby  was  born,"  she  continued,  with 
that  same  dreadful  look,  "the  forced  calmness  I  had 
worn  so  long  was  broken  up.  I  have  been  nervous, 
erratic,  half-crazed  ever  since.  I  know  God  is  angry 


240  MARION   LESTER. 

with  me,  and  has  turned  the  light  of  his  countenance 
far  away  from  me,  for  I  have  rebelled  against  his 
decrees.  My  heart  has  never  ceased  to  cry  Roland  ! 
Roland  !  —  and  now  fears  for  my  little  Roland  fill  up 
the  measure  of  my  woe.  Poor,  unfortunate  child  of 
an  unworthy  mother !  " 

Her  features  suddenly  contracted,  and  tears  rained 
in  torrents  from  her  eyes.  I  folded  her  slight  form 
in  my  arms ;  I  held  her  poor,  crushed  heart  close  to 
my  own  warm,  happy  one,  and  pressed  my  lips  to  her 
pure  forehead  many  times,  ere  I  could  speak. 

"  It  is  a  dreadful  thing,  this  want  of  faith." 

"Yes,  it  is  dreadful,"  she  repeated;  "and  tears 
are  all  the  privilege  left  me.  I  have  wept  the  foun 
tain  dry  many  times." 

"  My  poor  friend,  you  think  God  is  wearied  with 
your  ceaseless  prayers  for  the  salvation  of  your 
Roland ;  it  cannot  be  so.  '  His  mercy  is  everlasting. 
His  mercy  endureth  forever.'  '  He  chasteneth  whom 
He  loveth.'  " 

"He  is  merciful,  but  I  have  tried  him  too  long. 
Still,  for  myself  alone  I  would  not  groan  and  strive  so 
much.  If  I  only  knew  that  my  little  boy  would  grow 
up  good,  and  be  accepted  of  the  Lord,  I  believe  I  could 
be  comparatively  happy." 

"  '  Lo,  children  are  an  heritage  of  the  Lord ! '  Jesus 
took  little  children  in  his  arms  and  blessed  them,  say 
ing,  'of  such  is  the  kingdom  of  heaven.'  If  God  so 


MARION   LESTER.  241 

loves  and  cares  for  your  child  now,  do  you  think,  as 
soon  as  he  becomes  a  man  (which  is  only  to  be  a  child 
of  a  little  larger  growth),  He  will  leave  him  entirely 
to  himself?  Rather  believe  he  will  ever  be  encircled 
in  the  arms  of  Infinite  Love  !  " 

Her  features  took  a  more  quiet  tone,  and  she  re 
mained  silent  and  thoughtful.  When  she  spoke  again, 
it  was  in  a  more  natural  manner.  "I  believe  I  do 
wrong  to  worry  so  much  about  the  future ;  I  suppose 
it  is  wicked,  but  I  am  sure  the  sin  brings  its  own  bitter 
punishment." 

"  It  does  indeed  !  and,  as  you  are  so  bitterly  pun 
ished  here  for  this  sin  of  distrust,  do  you  think  the 
merciful  Father  in  heaven  would  punish  you  still 
more  dreadfully,  and  forever,  for  this  same  error  ?  I 
cannot  believe  it !  " 

She  passed  her  hand  over  her  forehead  with  a 
puzzled  air,  and  was  silent.  Seeing  that  she  was 
almost  fainting  with  weariness,  I  persuaded  her  to  lie 
on  the  bed.  I  was  about  leaving  her  when  she  begged 
me  to  call  in  her  little  boy. 

The  child  stood  at  the  door  patiently  waiting  for 
admission.  He  came  in  softly,  and  took  a  seat  by  the 
side  of  the  bed.  His  mother  put  out  her  hand,  which 
he  took  in  both  of  his  own,  and  laid  his  little  cheek 
caressingly  upon  it.  Deeply  affected,  I  turned 
away. 

Emma  was  wondering  and  almost  alarmed  at  my 
16 


-42  MARION    LESTER. 


prolonged  absence.  When  I  explained  the  cause  of  it 
she  "was  affected  to  tears.  And  yet  she  could  not 
realize,  as  I  could,  the  desolation  in  the  heart  of  the 
mourner.  After  dinner  we  started  for  a  romantic 
stroll.  Emma  suggested  taking  the  little  Roland 
Delano  with  us.  Pleased  with  the  proposition,  I 
stepped  in  to  ask  his  mother's  permission.  It  made 
my  heart  ache  to  see  the  little  fellow  sitting,  just  as  I 
had  left  him,  ia  that  darkened,  stifled  room. 

Mrs.  Delano  was  glad  to  have  Roland  go  with  us, 
as  the  air  and  exercise  might  do  him  good.  But  the 
child  manifested  no  pleasure,  and  I  saw  that  he  would 
prefer  to  remain  in-doors,  though  he  made  no  oppo 
sition  as  I  led  him  away. 

Emma  caught  him  up  in  her  arms,  calling  him  a 
little  darling :  she  kissed  him.  and  playfully  pinched 
his  cheeks,  ':  to  make  them  a  little  red/'  she  said. 

The  child  smiled ;  but  it  was  the  reflection  of  his 
mother's  smile,  and  I  could  not  bear  it. 

"What  a  strange  smile  for  such  a  child,  a  mere 
babe  !  "  exclaimed  Emma,  "  Why,  my  little  man,  if  I 
don't  find  something  to  make  your  eyes  shine,  and 
your  cheeks  rosy, —  something  to  make  you  laugh  right 
out,  —  I  shall  think  you  are  a  fay,  or  sprite,  —  any 
thing  but  a  child  !  " 

She  plied  him  with  sugar-plums  and  kisses ;  I  told 
him  stories  and  sung  him  songs ;  and  we  both  played 
hide-and-seek  under  the  trees,  until  his  laugh  rung 


MARION  LESTER. 


243 


out  clear  and  childlike.  Between  us  both  he  was  in 
danger  of  being  killed  with  kindness ;  but  Emma  ac 
complished  her  object,  and  I  had  the  satisfaction  of 
taking  Roland  back  to  his  mamma,  with  bright  eyes, 
glowing  cheeks,  and  hands  crowded  with  wild  flowers. 

Mrs.  Delano  raised  her  head  with  a  languid  smile 
as  we  entered.  Roland's  face  became  shaded,  and  he 
walked  forward  with  hushed  footsteps.  I  could  not 
bear  to  have  his  unwonted  joy  react  upon  him  so  soon, 
and  withal  I  was  determined  to  give  a  wholesome  les 
son  to  his  repining  mother. 

"Haven't  you  rested  long  enough,  Mrs.  Delano? 
Let  me  help  you  up  —  there.  This  is  a  very  easy 
rocking-chair,  and  this  is  a  pretty  footstool,  only  it  is 
too  dark  to  see  the  working  plainly."  I  raised  the 
curtain  and  put  up  the  window,  letting  in  a  flood  of 
light,  and  a  gush  of  music  from  a  warbler  trilling  on 
a  tree  near  by.  "  Is  n't  this  pleasant?  Air  and  light 
are  precious  gifts  of  Heaven  !  " 

Mrs.  Delano  covered  her  face.  "Don't,  Marion, 
don't !  Do  put  down  that  curtain  !  I  can't  bear  light, 
and  music,  and  beauty ;  —  they  mock  me ;  they  jar 
upon  my  spirit!  " 

"  Don't  you  think  you  can  bear  light,  and  beauty, 
and  music,  better  than  your  little  boy  can  endure 
gloom,  and  sadness,  and  silence  ?  " 

Though  I  spoke  very  gently,  she  comprehended 
my  full  meaning,  and  looked  up  quickly  with  a  flushed 


244  MARION  LESTER. 

brow.  I  smiled  seriously,  and  her  eyes  fell.  She 
drew  her  child  to  her  bosom.  "  0. 1  am  selfish,  very 
selfish  after  all.  in  the  face  of  my  absorbing  love  for 
thee,  my  little  Roland !  " 

I  saw  tear-drops  glisten  on  the  child's  fair  tresses. 

"  This  will  never  do,  Mrs.  Delano  !  I  am  going  to 
be  mistress  here  for  a  little  while,  and  I  shall  be  very 
peremptory,  I  fear.  Roland,  dear,  just  take  your 
flowers  to  the  window,  and  make  a  nice  bouquet  of  them. 
To-morrow  I  will  buy  you  a  pretty  little  vase,  and  you 
shall  fill  it  every  day  with  flowers,  to  put  upon  your 
mamma's  table." 

The  child  flew  like  a  humming-bird,  and  in  half  a 
minute  was  clapping  his  hands,  and  mocking  the  singer, 
whose  heaven-taught  song  had  so  oflended  his  mother's 
morbid  ear. 

{( I  have  found  a  good  medicine  for  Roland," — she 
looked  up  expectantly,  — "  sunshine  and  gladness  !  " 

"Thank  you,  dear  Marion,"  she  said,  with  quiv 
ering  lip ;  "  you  have  taught  me  a  needed  lesson  !  " 

I  combed  out  her  long  tresses,  and,  while  braiding 
them,  I  chatted  cheerfully  of  my  own  happy  home, 
and  of  all  the  blessings  surrounding  my  path ;  of  sweet 
Emma  Benton,  whom  I  would  introduce  to  her  to 
morrow  ;  of  our  pleasant  walk,  and  Roland's  childish 
glee.  I  pointed  out  the  exquisite  landscape,  seen  from 
the  window,  which  she  had  never  looked  at  before. 


MARION   LESTER.  245 

Her  eye  brightened,  and  her  voice  borrowed  a  cheerful 
tone  from  mine. 

But  soon  her  old  look  came  back  again,  and  she 
said,  with  a  sigh,  "I  wish  I  might  enjoy  all  this 
beauty  of  nature  and  sweetness  of  life!  " 

"0,  my  dear  friend!  has  not  God  given  you 
eyes  to  see,  and  ears  to  hear ;  and  will  you  be  wilfully 
blind  and  deaf?  You  have  a  mind  fitted  to  appreciate 
the  beauties  of  nature  and  glories  of  art ;  you  have  a 
heart  sensitive  to  social  joy  and  religious  bliss ;  and 
why,  why  can  you  not  enjoy  all  the  beauty  and  sweet 
ness  of  life  ?  " 

:- 1  wish  I  could  feel  it  all  just  so ;  but  I  can't ! 
There  is  a  cloud  all  about  me,  and  it  is  dark,  very 
dark ! " 

'•  That  is  because  your  eyes  are  shut,  and  your 
mind  wrapped  in  itself.  Look  up,  my  friend ;  open 
your  eyes,  and  you  will  see  God's  love  gilding  even 
the  cloud  above  you.  The  darkness  is  all  in  your 
self." 

"  I  don't  dare  to  have  you  talk  to  me  in  that  way, 
Marion ;  for  now  I  remember  that  even  you,  in  whom 
so  many  hopes  were  centred,  have  turned  away  from 
the  God  of  our  salvation,  and  rest  in  your  own 
strength !  " 

"  Not  so  !  It  is  entirely  on  God's  strength  that  I 
rest !  My  faith  and  hope  are  enlarged  and  purified. 


246  JUARIOX   LESTER. 

The  God  in  whom  I  trust  is  a  God  of  salvation,  and 
the  Saviour  I  adore  is  sufficient  for  all !  " 

She  looked  at  me  dubiously. 

I  -went  on  with  enthusiasm.  ':  Once  I  sought  re 
ligion  because  I  feared  to  be  without  it;  now  it 
attracts  and  engrosses  my  soul  because  it  is  in  itself 
BO  precious  and  desirable  !  My  religion  is  one  of  love 
and  beauty  and  gladness.  I  can  think  of  no  sorrow 
so  terrible,  that  this  glorious  faith  can  not  soften 
and  make  endurable  !  " 

"Your  words  are  pleasant;  I  like  to  hear  them, 
but  I  ought  not.  I  fear  they  will  mislead  me." 

"  Can  you  be  worse  off  than  you  are  now,  when 
you  are  shrouded  in  darkness  and  gloom  ?  But  I 
will  not  sermonize  any  more,  or  you  will  really  get 
to  be  afraid  of  me.  Good- night,  and  sweet  dreams  to 
you  !  I  shall  not  forget  your  flower- vase,  little  one. 
Good-night." 


A  few  visitors  took  their  meals  in  private,  but 
Emma  and  I  liked  best  the  sociability  of  the  common 
table.  One  day,  at  dinner,  in  glancing  down  the  long 
vista  of  faces,  at  the  further  end  were  two  familiar 
ones.  A  thrill  of  pleasure  quickened  my  pulses  as  I 
recognized  my  old  school-mates,  Edwin  Sanders  and 
Helen  French.  Helen  had  ripened  into  a  beautiful 
woman,  and  Edwin  was  a  fine-looking  man. 


MARION   LESTER.  247 

Soon  Helen's  flashing,  restless  eyes  met  my  earnest 
gaze ;  she  started  with  a  bright  color,  and  bending  her 
head,  which  had  the  same  coquettish,  wilful  turn,  as 
of  old,  whispered  a  word  to  her  companion.  Then  I  had 
to  endure  a  whole  battery  of  glances ;  but  I  only  smiled 
quietly  and  happily  to  myself,  and  went  on  with  my 
dinner.  As  soon  as  the  repast  was  over,  they  hastened 
towards  me,  and  I  smilingly  held  out  both  hands. 

"  It  is  she  !  it  is  Marion  Lester  !  "  cried  Helen, 
flinging  her  arms  about  my  neck,  and  kissing  me  in 
transport. 

Edwin  was  equally  pleased  at  the  meeting,  though 
he  expressed  his  pleasure  more  suitably  to  the  dignity 
of  a  gentleman. 

"0,  Helen  French  !  I  should  know  you  anywhere 
in  the  wide  world  !  You  have  not  altered  one  bit !  " 

"Now,  now,"  said  Edwin,  "I  shall  not  allow  my 
bride  to  be  called  by  her  maiden  name  any  longer. 
Let  me  introduce  Mrs.  Sanders  to  you.  We  were 
married  last  week,  and  this  is  our  bridal  tour !  " 

I  bowed  low,  and  touched  the  bride's  jewelled 
fingers  to  my  lips,  in  mock  gravity.  Then  there  was 
a  flood  of  questions,  and  answers,  and  exclamations, 
quite  discouraging  to  Emma,  who  soon  excused  her 
self,  saying  she  must  finish  shading  her  picture.  Ed 
win  declared  he  could  not  get  in  a  word  edgeways, 
and  he  would  leave  us  until  our  torrent  of  small  talk 
was  somewhat  abated. 


248  MARION   LESTER. 

We  were  glad  to  be  left  alone,  and  talked  as  only 
old  school-mates  can  talk  after  a  long  separation. 

"  Where 's  your  sister  Sarah  ?  "  I  asked  at  length  ; 
"  I  almost  forgot  to  inquire  about  her." 

"0,  she  is  married  and  settled  down  in  M . 

She  has  two  little  children,  and  has  become  quite 
matronly." 

"  How  I  should  like  to  see  her  !  Has  she  married 
well?" 

"Yes,  her  husband  is  a  professor,  and  that  suits 
her,  of  course.  She  is  just  the  same  dear,  good  girl 
that  she  used  to  be,  only  she  preaches  to  me  so  much 
about  getting  religion.  And  0,  Marion  !  who  would 
have  thought  that  you,  of  all  others,  would  backslide 
and  become  one  of  the  world  again  ?  I  do  say,  it 
almost  took  my  breath  away  when  I  heard  it ;  and 
Sarah  could  n't  believe  it  at  first ;  but,  when  Miss 
Ingols  told  her,  she  had  to.  And  then  the  poor  girl 
half  cried  her  eyes  out.  She  and  Miss  Ingols  would  n't 
either  of  'em  have  mourned  as  much  if  they  had 
heard  of  your  death ;  though,  for  my  part,  I 
could  n't  see  anything  so  very  terrible  about  it." 

I  laughed  heartily  at  Helen's  graphic  story,  and 
sought  to  correct  an  erroneous  opinion.  "  They 
did  n't  need  to  mourn  so  much,  for  I  loved  real  re 
ligion  more  than  ever.  I  only  enlarged  the  borders 
of  my  faith,  and  took  in  all  God's  children." 

Helen  shook  her  head  laughingly.  "  I  don't  know 


MARION   LESTER.  249 

about  that  sort  of  religion  ;  I  have  heard  of  it,  and  it 
is  dangerous.  They  say  '  it  will  do  to  live  by,  but 
is  n't  good  to  die  by.'  ' 

"  And  is  your  religion  good  to  die  by,  Helen  ?  " 

"  My  religion  ;  ha,  ha,  ha  !  that  is  a  good  one  !  I 
have  n't  the  least  bit  of  religion  about  me,  though  I 
suppose  I  must  have  before  I  die.  Edwin  and  I  have 
agreed  to  take  the  world  easy,  and  enjoy  all  we  can ; 
then,  you  know,  when  we  are  growing  old,  we  can 
get  religion  a  great  deal  better  than  now." 

"  My  dear  Helen,  how  much  you  will  lose  !  Re 
ligion  is  a  life  to  live,  not  a  thing  to  get !  " 

Helen  made  a  wry  face.  "  I  cannot  live  religion  ; 
I  should  get  tired  to  death  of  it !  My  plan  is  the 
best,  I  'm  sure ;  for  if  you  live  your  religion,  and 
don't  get  the  right  sort,  after  all,  you  '11  be  in  dread 
ful  danger.  Don't  look  so  sober,  May  !  " 

"  I  can't  hqlp  it,  and  I  don't  believe  the  religion 
you  talk  about  getting  some  time  is  good  to  die  by ; 
and  I  am  sure  Miss  Ingols  (she  is  Mrs.  Delano  now) 
has  proved  it  bad  to  live  by." 

"  Mrs.  Delano,"  said  Helen,  as  if  glad  to  change 
the  conversation,  "  where  is  she  ?  " 

"  She  is  in  this  house,  and  in  the  deepest  sorrow. 
Her  husband  is  dead  !  " 

"Poor,  poor  thing  !  " 

"  Yes,  Helen,  she  is  an  object  of  pity.  Her  hus 
band  is  dead ;  she  has  lost  her  religious  hope,  and 


250  MARION  LESTER. 

thinks  she  is  doomed ;  and  she  is  in  agonizing  fear 
about  the  salvation  of  her  child." 

"Miss  Ingols  !  impossible!  Why,  if  she  isn't 
going  to  heaven,  I  don't  know  who  will !  What  puts 
such  horrible  ideas  into  her  head  ?  " 

"  It  is  the  fruit  of  that  religion  which  you  are 
going  to  get  to  die  by,  Helen  !  But  won't  you  go 
and  see  the  poor  thing?  She  would  be  pleased  to 
meet  you." 

"  No,  I  would  n't  see  her  for  the  world  !  It  would 
do  her  no  good,  and  I  'm  sure  I  should  n't  get  over  it 
in  a  month  !  I  can't  bear  to  see  any  one  that  is  so 
melancholy,  and  I  don't  want  anything  to  make  me 
sad  on  my  bridal  tour.  We  are  only  going  to  stay 
until  to-morrow ;  so  pray  don't  let  her  know  we  are 
.here.  Here  comes  Edwin  ;  — he  would  be  surprised 
if  he  knew  what  a  gloomy  subject  we  have  got  on  to." 

The  young  gentleman  came  up  with  a  playful 
remark,  which  put  all  our  grave  thoughts  to  flight, 
and  a  long,  happy  conversation  ensued. 

On  the  morrow,  when  I  was  waiting  to  see  my 
friends  off,  and  expressing  regret  at  the  shortness  of 
their  stay,  Helen  exclaimed,  with  a  saucy  shake  of 
her  bright  little  head.  "  Don't  put  so  much  solicitude 
in  your  black  eyes,  Marion  !  Ed  and  I  will  get  along 
well  enough,  and  will  look  out  to  get  religion  in  good 
time  ;  BO  never  fear  for  us." 

"  I  was  only  thinking  what  a  pity  it  is  that  my 


MAEION  LESTER.  251 

two  friends,  walking  through  a  flowery  vale,  should 
only  see  the  common  flowers  beneath  their  feet,  and 
be  blind  to  the  rare  and  fragrant  blossoms  growing 
higher  up,  yet  within  their  reach." 

"  You  are  getting  to  be  poetical,"  laughed  Edwin  ; 
and  yet  I  saw  I  had  awakened  a  new  thought,  and 
was  glad  the  words  were  spoken. 

"  Marion,  I  do  believe  there  is  some  sense  in  your 
doctrine,  after  all.  I  thought  about  it  last  night  until 
my  head  ached.  I  do  hope  it  is  true ;  I  do  hope  so. 
Mon  chere  ami  !  But,  after  all,  I  believe  I  '11  stay  on 
the  safe  side,  ha,  ha !  Good-by,  good-by,  dear  ! 
Come  and  see  me  when  you  can  !  " 

"  Good-by,  Helen  ;  good-by,  Edwin  !  " 

While  tossing  kisses  through  the  open  window,  I 
lost  sight  of  Helen's  sparkling,  piquant  face,  which 
only  needed  an  indwelling  happiness  to  make  it  truly 
beautiful.  Though  she  was  full  of  glee,  the  joy  was 
on  the  surface,  for  the  deep,  deep  fountains  of  her 
nature  were  yet  unsealed,  and  she  was  ignorant  even 
of  their  existence.  Alas  !  what  a  waste  of  God's  best 
gifts! 

0,  the  fruit  of  this  false,  mistaken  faith  !  how 
bitter  it  is  !  It  is  blight  and  mildew  to  some  spirits ; 
and  others,  less  sensitive  and  more  elastic,  it  frightens 
away  from  the  fountains  of  life  ! 

Before  Alfred  came,  I  had  obtained  great  influence 
over  the  mind  of  Mrs.  Delano.  She  was  more  serene 


252  MARION   LESTER. 

and  cheerful,  and  I  began  to  believe  that  the  Lord  in 
his  great  mercy  would  send  her  the  Comforter.  I  had 
no  difficulty  in  enlisting  Alfred's  sympathies  for  my 
unfortunate  friend.  He  sought  to  win  her  confidence 
and  esteem  by  kind  and  brotherly  attentions  ;  and  his 
earnest,  truthful  words,  so  fitly  spoken,  awoke  a  new 
and  profitable  train  of  thought.  She  ceased  to  fear,  and 
then  learned  to  respect,  our  peculiar  faith,  as  her  absurd 
ideas  of  it  were  exchanged  for  those  more  truthful. 

We  invited  her  to  accompany  us  home  and  spend 
a  few  months.  She  had  many  scruples  at  first,  but 
little  Roland  helped  me  to  overrule  them.  The 
child  was  delighted  at  the  thought  of  living  with 
aunt  Marion,  as  he  called  me,  and  pleaded  with  his 
mother  with  childish  volubility  and  eloquence.  She 
consented  at  last,  saying  she  needed  the  influence 
of  just  such  a  quiet  and  happy  home  as  she  knew 
ours  must  be,  to  restore  her  to  health  and  serenity. 

"  And  to  happiness,  my  friend !  " 

"  Nay,  Marion,  I  may  become  resigned,  but  never 
happy ! " 

"  I  have  hopes  even  of  that  blessed  contingency." 

"  You  are  a  bright  prophetess,  Marion,  and  you 
look  almost  like  one  inspired,  with  that  radiant  light 
in  your  eye  !  But  your  extravagantly  large  '  hope  ' 
accounts  for  it  all." 

"  If  it  is  extravagant,  I  shall  cherish  it.  that  your 
hope  may  be  increased  and  strengthened  by  it." 


MARION  LESTER.  253 

I  allotted  the  pleasantest  room  in  the  house  to 
Mrs.  Delano.  Honeysuckles  peeped  in  at  the  win 
dows,  and  my  choicest  verbena,  and  rose-bush,  and 
stately  calla,  stood  on  a  little  antique  stand.  The 
drapery  of  the  bed  and  windows  was  white,  and  the 
glowing  colors  in  the  carpet  contrasted  pleasantly 
with  the  delicate  wall-paper.  Altogether,  it  had  a 
cheerful,  cosey,  home  look,  and  the  flash  of  pleasure 
and  gratitude  overspreading  Mrs.  Delano's  pale  brow, 
as  she  first  entered  it,  amply  repaid  me  for  my 
endeavors  to  please  her. 

I  took  care  to  place  religious  books  upon  her  table ; 
some  to  comfort  and  elevate  her  heart,  and  others  to 
direct  and  enlighten  her  mind.  These  were  read  at 
first,  but  soon  her  Bible  engrossed  her  whole  attention. 

"  Night  and  day 

Her  eye  was  riveted  upon  the  page 
Which  yieldeth  peace  and  everlasting  life." 

And,  0,  how  fervently  I  prayed  that  she  might 
find  it ! 

As  days  passed  on,  her  eye  grew  brighter,  and  her 
voice  firmer.  Health  breathed  kindly  upon  her 
enfeebled  frame,  and  her  step  became  elastic;  and 
once  I  caught  her  humming  snatches  of  a  song  ! 

Meanwhile  little  Roland  thrived  wonderfully  in 
the  country  air  and  sunshine.  His  cheeks  grew 
round  and  ruddy,  and  his  hesitating,  mournful  man- 


MARION   LESTER. 


ners  were  exchanged  for  genuine  childish  exube 
rance  and  joy.  He  became  a  dear  and  treasured 
member  of  the  family,  stealing  into  our  affections  with 
that  sweet  audacity  so  well  known  to  the  little  ones. 

One  night,  at  sunset,  Mrs.  Delano  and  Alfred  and 
I  were  in  the  garden,  enjoying  its  fragrance  and 
beauty.  Alfred  stooped  to  bind  up  a  broken  flower, 
so  that  the  mellow  light  fell  full  upon  his  manly 
brow.  It  seemed  to  give  it  a  lofty,  spiritual  expres 
sion.  Mrs.  Delano  felt  it  as  well  as  I. 

"  Mr.  Eaton,  I  believe  you  are  a  true  Christian ! " 
she  said,  suddenly. 

"Do  you?"  said  Alfred,  with  a  half  smile. 
"  Thank  you  !  " 

"  I  wish  you  would  give  me  your  definition  of 
religion." 

Alfred  thought  a  minute,  and  replied,  "Love  to 
God  and  to  man  !  " 

"Is  that  all?" 

"  Is  not  that  enough?  Does  it  not  include  all? 
If  the  heart  is  deeply  imbued  with  love,  where  is 
there  room  for  sin  ?  Selfishness  and  hatred,  and  big 
otry  and  passion,  cannot  dwell  with  heavenly  love." 

Mrs.  Delano  looked  down,  musingly.  "  The  world 
is  full  of  sin  and  discord,  and  I  don't  see  how  it  is 
all  going  to  be  made  harmonious  with  love.  I  don't 
see  how  every  soul  can  become  pure  and  holy." 

"  But  God  does  ! — he  who  sees  the  end  from  the 


MARION   LESTER.  255 

beginning.  We  are  weak  and  ignorant,  but  God  is 
infinite  in  wisdom.  c  His  ways  are  not  our  ways, 
nor  his  thoughts  our  thoughts.'  0,  believe,  with  me, 
that  the  divine  Architect  of  the  universe  hath  power 
to  accomplish  an  all-perfect  and  glorious  result !  " 

"0,  this  happy  faith  !  I  would  it  were  mine  !  " 
cried  Mrs.  Delano,  raising  her  streaming  eyes  upward. 

The  truth  was  striving  in  her  heart. 

The  seed  of  truth,  dropped  at  the  right  moment, 
and  with  a  skilful  hand,  will  oftentimes  have  more  effect 
than  whole  years  spent  in  doctrinal  argumentation. 


"Mamma,"  said  little  Roland,  "  are  we  going  to 
live  here  always  ?  I  love  this  pretty  home  ;  I  love 
aunt  Marion  !  Say,  can't  we  stay  here  always?  " 

"  Ask  aunt  Marion  if  we  may  ?  " 

"  May  we  live  here  always,  auntie?  " 

"  Certainly,  darling !  As  long  as  you  and  your 
mamma  are  contented  here  I  shan't  let  you  go  away." 

"0,  good,  good !  "  cried  the  little  fellow,  clapping 
his  hands.  "  I  '11  run  and  tell  Willie  Edson  I  'm  going 
to  keep  this  good  home,  and  he  '11  be  glad  too  !  "  And 
away  he  darted  like  a  bird  on  the  wing. 

"  The  medicine  you  once  prescribed  for  Roland 
has  done  wonders,"  said  Mrs.  Delano.  "  Yes,  '  sun 
shine  and  gladness  '  are  precious  remedies." 

"  Roland  is  a  gleam  of  sunshine  himself,  and  his 
heart  is  all  gladness  !  But,  my  dear  friend,  you  are 


256 


MARION   LESTER. 


reading  and  thinking  too  much ;  rest  a  little  while." 
I  tried  to  remove  the  open  Bible  from  her  lap,  but 
she  retained  it,  saying,  gently,  "  Let  me  keep  it 
always  in  my  sight,  Marion,  for  it  is  'a  lamp  unto  my 
feet,  and  a  light  unto  my  path.'  ' 

A  heartfelt  smile  illumined  her  features.  I  had 
never  seen  such  a  smile  upon  her  face  before,  and 
sweet  hope  sent  a  quivering  wave  down  to  the  centre 
of  my  heart. 

"0,  this  blessed,  blessed  book !  Marion,  I  have 
read  it  all  my  days,  but  never  with  such  eyes  as  I 
do  now !  It  seems  a  new  and  glorious  revelation. 
'  Lord,  I  believe  ;  help  thou  mine  unbelief ! ' : 

"  And  now  you  see  light,  even  through  the  cloud 
above  you?" 

"  Marion,  the  cloud  is  entirely  gone.  It  is  light 
all  around  me.  Doubt  and  fear  have  fled  away,  and 
hope  and  joy  come  trooping  in  their  places.  The 
great  wound  in  my  heart  is  healed.  I  know  that  my 
loved  and  gone  before  are  basking  in  the  blaze  of 
Infinite  Love ;  I  feel  a  portion  of  it  warming  and 
thrilling  every  nerve  of  my  being !  " 

Tears  of  joy  ran  over  my  face,  but  hers  wore  a 
look  of  holy  elevation ;  and  I  knew  that  the  Com 
forter  nestled  in  her  heart ! 


UC  SOUTHERN  REGIONAL  LIBRARY  FACILITY 


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